To expect my 11 year old to be able to use the toilet during the school day?

[bendy75]

Is this the norm? My 11 year old started in at secondary school last month and has had two warnings (or stage 2 - Low level disruptions) for asking to use the toilet.

I told him to try and go at break times but he tells me they are locked, confirmed today by staff when I asked, children who have a medical need can apply for a toilet pass but he does not, so has to try and go from 8.00 am until returning home around 3.00pm without using the toilet.

AIBU to be shocked by this?

@towriteyoumustlive yes, exactly this!!!

Why does no one understand this?!?

Why now though? We could've done all those things except vape back in the day, and some did. But nothing to warrant removing toilet access for everyone.

Increased emphasis on Safeguarding.

Because schools have to safeguard a lot more than they did even ten years ago, let alone 20-30 years ago.

Do you think your son is embarrassed of being poo smell shames or scared of bullies in the toilets? I'd dig a little deeper

I hope that you have - otherwise it sounds mad.

I can understand having to go and get a key during lessons (and potentially short breaks) but they should be open at lunchtime with a teacher on duty. Or (trustworthy) prefects? We had 5th formers in my school supervising lunch queues, for example.

Safeguarding requires a risk assessment - and the risks from not being able to go to the loo are much much likely than eg someone smoking in the loos. Anyway, isn't that what smoke alarms are for?

No, young people's Safeguarding.

BUT DAMAGE THEIR HEALTH AND HUMILIATE THEM?

I hope I've made the point that there is really no need to shout.

If I am going to bleed through my school uniform, I need the toilet now. Not at break, not at lunchtime, now. If I ate something dodgy last night and need the loo, I need it now.

Neither of those cases will necessarily mean I have a toilet pass. And needing a toilet pass is in itself humiliating.

So none of you going on about safeguarding think that it includes health and safety, mental wellbeing, physical wellbeing?

I think some of you need to go back to school quite literally on safeguarding. It is not just about abuse. Not by a long way.

@enchantedsquirrelwood allowances are made for genuine cases and there are ample opportunities to go to the toilet.

They are only locked in lesson times fir the safety of the children. It's very clear you have no idea the extent of the issues I highlighted (now a number of times) earlier. There is clearly a need to shout as it seems the only way people will understand the schools are not against the children!

Perhaps they'd rather go in lessons as they must be overcrowded if everyone goes at break

Why are the kids so badly behaved in the first place

Exactly. I think people genuinely don't realise what Safeguarding in schools is about.

They're not overcrowded, staff supervise a queue. They generally don't have to queue for too long.

As a teacher this is something that teachers will never be able to 'win'
If you abide by the rules the parents complain.
If you use your discretion the SLT complains.
If you are give a list of pupils that shouldn't be allowed out in lessons the parents complain.
If the school says girls and those with toilet passes can go the other pupils complain.

If a pupil walks out because their parents say that they can just go the SLT complain.

Its a mine field that wouldn't even be a problem if some pupils didn't abuse going to the toilet in the first place.
But as always lets 'cure the symptom and not the disease'.
(just FYI so for the sensitive that is a common saying were I am from not a judgement on children)

This, 💯

Yeah but what I'm saying is that it should be that schools can permanently exclude students who do stuff like this rather than having to resort to locking toilets for the whole school day.

But the government and ofsted has made it so that this very rarely happens.

It seems impossible the toilets are locked at all times - otherwise no one at school would ever be able to use the loo! I think you check with the school tomorrow - and if they confirm some/all are locked ask them where your son goes to go to the loo because that would be ridiculous!

@Dramatic - take our word for it - toilets are never locked for the entirety of the school day.

While I generally do let children go when they need to (unless there’s clear evidence it’s a piss take) your suggestion to ‘Just make sure kids go one at a time’ is a bit silly if you give it a moment’s thought. In a secondary school there will be maybe 5 classes per year (often more), times 5 years… How do you suggest we know whether anyone else might also be there?

I know, which is ridiculous in cases like this.

I do call bullshit. Why would they have toilets if they were always locked? No school expects someone to go from 8.30 to 3.30 without going to the toilet (though teachers often do).

I often let them go, @cardibach - I let a girl go this morning, I could sense she was genuine - however, she said there was a queue! Quite a few from other classes, unbeknownst to me.

So all of the people on this thread saying they are/have been in schools they've worked in are lying?