To expect my 11 year old to be able to use the toilet during the school day?

[bendy75]

Is this the norm? My 11 year old started in at secondary school last month and has had two warnings (or stage 2 - Low level disruptions) for asking to use the toilet.

I told him to try and go at break times but he tells me they are locked, confirmed today by staff when I asked, children who have a medical need can apply for a toilet pass but he does not, so has to try and go from 8.00 am until returning home around 3.00pm without using the toilet.

AIBU to be shocked by this?

The teachers mean they are locked during lessons. They definitely will be open break and lunch time.

I'm really not going to buy that toilets are locked and no student is allowed to use the toilet at any point in the school day, including lunch and breaks baring a medical exemption.
There is no way this is true.

Confirm when the toilets are locked. No way they are expecting this.

I'd take that higher.
School toilets should not be locked at break and lunch. I can't help think somehow you've got the wrong end of the stick.

If they'd tried that in my old secondary they'd have ended up with boys pissing round the back, instead of smoking round the back.

I've worked in several schools, where the toilets are always locked. You have to go to reception and request a key.
There isn't enough time at break to do this.
Barbaric.

The toilets are locked for all school day and only those with medical needs are allowed to use them between 8-15? And this was confirmed by a staff member?

This is a misunderstanding somewhere - you need to go back and query this with school. The toilets are not locked during break time. Students are encouraged to use the toilet during break times and not disrupt lessons.

Sorry but this just isn’t true. They will be able to go at break times - maybe they are locked during lessons (but even this is unlikely tbh). Your child is obviously asking to go at inappropriate times or going and being silly which is why he’s been given warnings.

That's disgusting - treating children like animals and then wonder why they behave like animals.

No way are the loos locked all day. Can you imagine the puddles that would cause - not to mention girls needing to change their sanitary wear.

I suggest you go back to the school. Send an email if easier.

I would check with the school because I doubt that the toilets are really closed all day. I hope that they made a mistake with their reply to you because I'd fabricate a medical condition that allow that.

No it's not the norm, and if true it sounds barbaric.

This is fucked up. What is their excuse for this? Waterboarding was forbidden?

My son has been saying they are locked at break times since they started, hence why I asked (I did not believe it myself) but a staff member said they are locked at all times and a pass is needed, I have absolutely no reason at all not to tell the truth, however I shall double check tomorrow just to make sure I have not got the wrong end of the stick.

In this situation, if he has the confidence, I would give him full permission to piss on something. Ideally, the desk of the teacher who gave him the warnings. Or just the floor of the classroom. If you have to go, you have to go!

It’s a basic bodily function. If a workplace started telling people they couldn’t go to the toilet when they needed to, there’d be riots.
So why is it OK to treat children that way?

If you’ve tried being reasonable, bold is the way to go. Probably also worth reporting to social services as its neglect.

It sounds like you have checked, actually, and that the toilets are locked at break and lunch. Is that the case?

I have no idea what you’re going to do if that’s the case. That’s insane and can’t continue surely.

Take it up with the governors? Ask for a copy of the policy which states the toilets must be locked.

If they insist they need locking due to behaviour then a teacher needs to do ‘toilet’ duty at break and lunch. Everyone needs to go to the toilet for gods sake.

Lots of schools are like this now. There's just far too much happening in toilets and there's not enough staff to man them. Ask in writing how your child can access the toilet.

Be 'curious' and disingenuous. Ask lots of questions about health and timing and UTIs and periods.

If there isn't time for everyone to go at break, they need a different system.

I wouldn’t stand for this. It’s barbaric. You don’t expect adults to hold it in for hours, why are children treated differently?

I must say, I would be going to the school and kicking up a fuss

Your son is lying to cover up the fact he disrupts lessons by persistently asking to leave the room.
Speak to the teacher to confirm this.
Then amuse yourself by reading the other eleventy billion threads about supposed human rights' violations in schools on Mumsnet. (Saturday was the last one I saw)

As would we all. If it were true. Which it isn't.

This is definitely miscommunication.

I mean think about it OP, as if they're expecting kids to cross their legs from 8am to 3pm.

I couldn't last that long without weeing. I feel slightly panicky even imagining it.

I'd probably consider changing schools if it was me, I've never heard of such a thing! Presumably they are trying to stop bad behaviour in there.

Are there not enough toilets, or not enough keys? What happens if you just wait outside the toilet for someone with a key to come out and then get in quick before the door closes?

They're probably open at break tine but busy. Not enough staff- complain to MP about school funding and TA wages!

I would speak to the head and kick off massively about this if they really are locked at breaktimes, I think it's bad enough toilets are locked at lesson times. Being able to use a toilet is a basic need.