To expect my 11 year old to be able to use the toilet during the school day?

[bendy75]

Is this the norm? My 11 year old started in at secondary school last month and has had two warnings (or stage 2 - Low level disruptions) for asking to use the toilet.

I told him to try and go at break times but he tells me they are locked, confirmed today by staff when I asked, children who have a medical need can apply for a toilet pass but he does not, so has to try and go from 8.00 am until returning home around 3.00pm without using the toilet.

AIBU to be shocked by this?

Using the toilet isn't a " medical need"
It's a basic human function and a basic human right.
If its true then the Head teacher is off their trolley.
Go to the media with it

I wouldn't be surprised if some schools do lock them in lesson times.

DD2 found it difficult to actually remember to go when it was break time or lunch - they have so little bloody time anyway and there is so much going on for them in Y7 - and ended up with a UTI. She hadn't had one since she started primary school.

I'd get him a toilet pass for now and take up the wider issue. Academies only rarely actually listen to parents concerns though. They are chains run by imperious overpaid wankers.

DD2 and Ds - now left - both stopped using the toilets at secondary as they felt unsafe - doors kicked in filming also they are mixed sex one side for each and sinks down middle. We live close by but I was very surprised they waited all day.

Toilets are now locked in lesson time - but are supposed to accessible to those with passes - though DD2 says one friend has issues. They are supposed to be unlocked in break and lunch- they had shutters installed but this can happen really late so practically may not be accessible in the timeframe of break and lunch.

They have a growing truancy issue and very low attendance rates I do wonder if this plays into that as many of DD2 friends are allowed to stay home once/twice a month by parents.

Tell school he has a UTI and needs a toilet pass.

I wouldn't be surprised if some schools do lock them.

Nobody is locking them from 8am to 3pm and expecting kids to go 7+ hours without using a toilet.

Think about what you're saying.

So much misunderstanding by parents about this - for a start, go into the school and speak to them. There will be toilets open at break and lunchtimes, and toilet passes available to children with a specific requirement i.e medical issues.

The reason for this is not mindless school policy, or because the school wants to make pupils uncomfortable as some seem to believe. It is specifically designed to prevent:

Truency
Fighting
Smoking
Vaping
Bullying
Vandalism
Grafitti
General pissing around and time wasting

ALL of which happen when you let kids wander off to the toilet whenever they fancy it. Some of these issues result in very serious incidents and this policy is designed to keep pupils safe.

There are no ways to monitor this and certainly not enough staff to police so this is the only safe option. If we could trust the kids to behave that would be one thing. But we can't.

This is appalling. An 11 year old girl starts her period, a boy has a sudden attack of diarrhoea etc do they have to face embarrassment or humiliation because they have been denied a basic right?

No. They're allowed to go to the toilet.
Plus, toilets are open at break and lunchtime.
This is obviously a misunderstanding.

I taught for nearly 40 years. My rule was one in one out. They only needed to say””Excuse me” and take a key which they returned when they came back to class. Each teacher had a key on the desk. The system worked because we believed that children are people and can be treated as such. Primary dc might need some help with toiletting but no at at 11+.

It's almost as if none of the toilet issues happened in a bog standard comp in the 1990s- mine was 1500 kids and loads of them were badly behaved.

Yet we still had decent toilets, with mirrors, far better than the plastic cheap crap shite with no privacy or human decency that serves as a secondary school toilet today. And we were allowed to go in lessons - within reason. Obviously you tried not to as asking was mortifying, but you could.

Now everyone is treated as if they are a criminal rather than trusted to behave and sanctions for the ones who don't.

That's why you know as well as the rest of us that the OP has misunderstood what her son has said.

I would email the school so you have confirmation either way. If they are locked I would ask the question about UTIs, periods etc. if they're not locked you know your son has misunderstood.

Also 11 year olds sometimes see barriers where the adults don't - having to go and get the key may be, or may feel, impossible to them. Definitely one to ask about at school.

I wonder if there is an issue such as bullying or others as mentioned, that brings a fear that your son has of using the toilets.

It will be clear on the School Policy documents, look on the website. They will be open before school, at break time, lunchtime and after school. During lessons it will be with a pass or emergency only. That's normal procedure.

We're into the 6th week now, he's obviously used the toilet!

I have emailed the school for clarification, reading the replies, it does seem probable that I have misunderstood.

This is utterly disgusting. My kids are primary age, the thought of secondary school is just giving me the shivers.

Why is it that secondary schools can't possibly manage a lesson where a child has to go to the toilet, but primaries manage?

Just like primary schools manage not to burn down even if the children are allowed to regulate their own temperature by removing a jumper without adult permission?

Come to think of it, how to Further Education colleges manage to educate without uniform or toilet restrictions at all?

Almost like secondary school policies like this are the problem, rather than children, isn't it?

Please don't worry, it's really very manageable. You can always contact the pastoral head if you have concerns, but believe me, they have opportunity to go to the toilet.

Do School Toilet Policies Breach Child Rights?

Schools are treating children like animals and are shocked when they act out.

The fact it is seen as acceptable to withhold basic rights from children is truly shocking.

@Flamingogirl08 wrong. Kids are behaving like animals and so the policies are changed. Genuine emergencies are of course respected. The policy at our school is reviewed annually.

Tell me you're not a secondary teacher without telling me you're not a secondary teacher.

Primary children tend not to shoot up, have sex, film each other using the toilet, vape, self harm or beat other children until they need an ambulance is the short answer.

Shouldn't need to be an emergency to use the toilets. Prisoners are treated better.