To expect my 11 year old to be able to use the toilet during the school day?

[bendy75]

Is this the norm? My 11 year old started in at secondary school last month and has had two warnings (or stage 2 - Low level disruptions) for asking to use the toilet.

I told him to try and go at break times but he tells me they are locked, confirmed today by staff when I asked, children who have a medical need can apply for a toilet pass but he does not, so has to try and go from 8.00 am until returning home around 3.00pm without using the toilet.

AIBU to be shocked by this?

There are probably girls starting their periods in your class.

In fact, I would say the age range during which all kids without any particular disabilities have full bladder control and no girls have started their periods yet is not very large.

Schools in the UK are getting worse than prisons. I removed my DC 5 years ago but it seems they are getting more like prisons every day! Crazy.

Of course those with issues can go

I have worked in schools for over 20 years and this has always been a problem, arguably it has got worse. On site truancy has rocketed since Covid, nationally, this often happens in toilets.

Students we have interviewed on this have reasons/excuses ranging from; they hate school/that lesson, they are addicted to vaping, addicted to checking their phone, they want to meet mates from other classes, they can’t cope in lesson due to peers, bullying, anxiety. There’s a lot to unpick.

We’ve had toilets vandalised, set on fire, deliberately blocked and flooded, sexual assaults, physical assaults, up skirting and videos taken of toileting, drinking alcohol and snorting cocaine! We are an Ofsted Outstanding school in a rural area with a strong and visible staff team! Very, very hard to manage toilet use in schools and ‘trusting’ students can be naieve.

You may well be right but the answer is not to prevent pupils from going to the toilet by locking the facilities for 90% of the time.
Perhaps teachers need to treat the pupils like humans with human needs occasionally. They’re not just heads to stuff full of enough knowledge to measure up to a government sanctioned yardstick.

Are you expecting girls to have to discuss their periods with your, or children in general to have to discuss personal medical issues which may they need the toilet with you? That's quite humiliating for them.

Mum usually have a word regarding girls, medical issues are on file

Our complaints are why there are more toilets being built, they're unisex ones too so hopefully the queues will be better.

Oh, hell no.

Unisex toilets are not safer for girls!

It is totally humiliating to have to signal that you "have an issue" to be allowed to go to the toilet, FFS.

I'm sure you would be equally content having to discuss period issues, IBS or whatever with your Head right?

If this were happening in my child's school I would write a letter to the school, for each of my children, copying in the head, all relevant teachers and the chair of governors, saying that my child had a medical issue, the details of which are none of anyone's goddamn business, and that if my child were denied access to a toilet at any time there would be hell to pay. I'd leave them to draw their own conclusions about why both my children had the same issue.

I worked in a school about 8 years ago where all toilets were locked over break times and only opened at lunch times for 20 minutes where a teacher had to be on toilet duty. I was shocked once I found out.

I understand what you’re saying. I don’t think the bathrooms should be closed either, just saying in my experience the likely reasons as to why they are.

They're individual toilets, absolutely no issues yhere. I'd rather unisex toilets they actually have time to use than single sex ones they don't

That is genuinely terrible! I went to two secondary schools I don't recal loos ever being locked or staffed.

The school is out of line here.

30 minutes at lunch time is NOT enough 'open time' for those without a 'medical need'. Utter bollocks.

Complain to the governing body. They are going to created medical issues for some if they carry on in this manner.

The girls never use the unisex loos at my DCs' school. They say there is always urine on the seats. Half the door locks have been smashed off and no one's allowed to use the end cubicles (the ones that still lock) because they're for vapers and couples. I hope your child has better luck.

Then just apply for a toilet pass for your son. Just say he has an infection and needs one. I doubt they will want to bother to contact the doctors about this and will just issue one.

I work in a comp and there is no way this is true. Ours are locked during lessons as some children couldn't be trusted to not truant or trash the toilets.

What your child has probably done (which lots do) is gone during break, seen a large queue and ran out of time to go back during the break period. Then the toilets have been lock again as lessons will have commenced. Unfortunately, teachers aren't keen to let kids out of lessons as they a) take ages b) disrupt lessons c) kids don't manage their time well and get distracted on their way back, some never make it back to class.

Personally, I think the rules are fair and kods need to learn to manage. Many teaching staff need to do this.

I'm still struggling to believe that the pupil population of an entire secondary school is expected to manage with access to the loos for only 30 minutes a day. I just don't see how it would be physically possible, especially for the girls. If the school hasn't got enough staff to manage to have the toilets fully open during all breaks, then frankly it's not able to operate safely and should be closed.

I'd suggest you email the head and ask for a definitive explanation of what the position is. If it really is as this teacher has told you, take it up with the governors, Ofsted, local councillors and local health cheeks. It simply cannot be healthy having hundreds of teenagers unable to access the toilet for the entire school day.

No. This is not what’s happening at my nephew’s school and clearly not those of quite a few other posters. The toilets at my nephews school are locked permanently - students have to ask for a pass to use them. This is justified by the school saying that the toilets cannot be monitored at all times - therefore they are locked to stop misuse/vandalism. It’s a recipe for UTI’s.

It would also potentially be against the Equality Act 2010.

Medically that is unsafe and I would definitely put in a complaint. I trust the teachers loo is also locked? No office or company in the UK locks their loo’s, human rights???

I would imagine that if every child asked to explain why they need to go in front of the class, answered with ‘I’ll pee/crap myself if I don’t’ the questioning might stop !!