Page 14 | To expect my 11 year old to be able to use the toilet during the school day?

bendy75 · 2023-10-10T14:15:47+00:00

Is this the norm? My 11 year old started in at secondary school last month and has had two warnings (or stage 2 - Low level disruptions) for asking to use the toilet. I told him to try and go at break times but he tells me they are locked, confirmed today by staff when I asked, children who have a medical need can apply for a toilet pass but he does not, so has to try and go from 8.00 am until returning home around 3.00pm without using the toilet. AIBU to be shocked by this?

debthemum · 11/10/2023 11:58

crumblingschools · 11/10/2023 11:55

@debthemum if there is poor behaviour in the toilets children won't use them, doesn't matter if they are open during lesson time. It is an horrendous situation, that cannot be solved by schools alone.

You may not like the fact that schools in certain areas will have poorer behaviour than in other areas, but it happens. Mainly because other services are no longer available for families who need help, and schools have to pick up the pieces with no funding

So the solution is to stop poorer children, whether they are well behaved or not, from using the toilet for 7 hours a day? How about we go into council houses with criminal charges and confiscate the knives and remove the toilets too

LongLiveGoblingKing · 11/10/2023 11:58

I'd be telling him to wee into an empty bottle and leave it in the head's office but I'm petty.

Dramatic · 11/10/2023 11:58

noblegiraffe · 11/10/2023 11:33

And you are right that the medical passes can also cause embarrassment. I just think if some schools can make it work then the vast majority should be able to

But different schools have wildly different intakes. Suggesting that because, I dunno, the leafy comp lets the kids go to the toilet during lessons that the far less leafy comp should be able to just 'make it work' like the other school does isn't really fair.

My kids comp is far from leafy, about as far from leafy as you can get and they make it work 🤷

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/10/2023 11:59

crumblingschools · Today 11:56

@MrsSkylerWhite teachers have to learn immense bladder control!”

So their lavatories are locked during breaks too?

KingsleyBorder · 11/10/2023 11:59

I can’t believe children have changed so much it’s no longer possible to allow toileting at school. It’s pretty horrendous when you step back and think

@MBeat

They haven’t changed though. It’s just at my school in the 80s they let the behaviour go unchecked. For us the result was the same- they might as well have locked the toilets because no way could anyone but the bullies use them.

QueenCamilla · 11/10/2023 12:06

The schools need to be given (given back? ) one-strike powers to expel pupils on things like drugs/smoking/property damage/physical harm. Instead, the little cunts are molly-coddled whilst ever new restrictions get imposed on everyone else. It's not a human right to fuck up the school-experience and education of others. Just get rid.

My job is in a place where some of these little cunts work when they become big cunts. One of them smokes weed in the toilets. This is the extent to which such behaviour is normalised - that it feels OK to take drugs openly (it bloody reeks the place out! ) at their workplace. I blame in part the toothless schools.
I'll be reporting the druggie to the management. If nothing gets done I'll be naming and shaming the organisation. Maybe they'll lock the toilets at work and count it sorted? 🤔

Spencer0220 · 11/10/2023 12:07

Verbena17 · 11/10/2023 08:18

For my own children, I literally told the school “I’ve explained to my child that if you refuse to let them go to the toilet, they can wee on your classroom floor”.
They very quickly agreed to not make an issue of it.

Perfect

Graciebobcat · 11/10/2023 12:07

QueenCamilla · 11/10/2023 12:06

The schools need to be given (given back? ) one-strike powers to expel pupils on things like drugs/smoking/property damage/physical harm. Instead, the little cunts are molly-coddled whilst ever new restrictions get imposed on everyone else. It's not a human right to fuck up the school-experience and education of others. Just get rid.

My job is in a place where some of these little cunts work when they become big cunts. One of them smokes weed in the toilets. This is the extent to which such behaviour is normalised - that it feels OK to take drugs openly (it bloody reeks the place out! ) at their workplace. I blame in part the toothless schools.
I'll be reporting the druggie to the management. If nothing gets done I'll be naming and shaming the organisation. Maybe they'll lock the toilets at work and count it sorted? 🤔

Abject nonsense. School suspend pupils for the slightest thing these days.

Dramatic · 11/10/2023 12:09

Graciebobcat · 11/10/2023 12:07

Abject nonsense. School suspend pupils for the slightest thing these days.

Show quote history

Are you joking? Do you know how much evidence is needed to permanently exclude a child these days?

Graciebobcat · 11/10/2023 12:10

Well some schools seem to be managing to exclude pupils permanently.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/school-expulsions-soar-300-year-23469665

School expulsions up by 300% year-on-year in Redcar and Cleveland

Twenty seven children were permanently excluded in the autumn term between September and December last year

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/school-expulsions-soar-300-year-23469665

Graciebobcat · 11/10/2023 12:11

Also:

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/sep/13/school-suspensions-rise-sharply-among-disadvantaged-children-in-england#:~:text=School%20suspensions%2C%20where%20a%20child,for%20those%20not%20in%20poverty).

School suspensions rise sharply among disadvantaged children in England

Analysis shows that since the pandemic those living in poverty were 3.7 times more likely to be sent home than other pupils

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/sep/13/school-suspensions-rise-sharply-among-disadvantaged-children-in-england#:~:text=School%20suspensions%2C%20where%20a%20child,for%20those%20not%20in%20poverty).

Myfabby · 11/10/2023 12:14

Winter291 · 10/10/2023 15:25

In this situation, if he has the confidence, I would give him full permission to piss on something. Ideally, the desk of the teacher who gave him the warnings. Or just the floor of the classroom. If you have to go, you have to go!

It’s a basic bodily function. If a workplace started telling people they couldn’t go to the toilet when they needed to, there’d be riots.
So why is it OK to treat children that way?

If you’ve tried being reasonable, bold is the way to go. Probably also worth reporting to social services as its neglect.

Edited

I cannot believe what I've read.

You're asking her to instruct her child to wee on his teacher's desk.

I hope you'll be there to help her when he's permanently excluded.

Bizyboo · 11/10/2023 12:18

It annoys me so much you can’t judge if u need the toilet, my son may have eaten something and then upsets his stomach

Verbena17 · 11/10/2023 12:20

tammie49 · 11/10/2023 11:50

I mean 20 actual toilets. There are 3 sets of toilets in the building each with 5 for boys and 5 for girls but they only open 2 of them during breaks and lunches to keep students to one part of the building. We have split breaks and lunches so the other one is 2 year groups or 600 kids
It's crazy when you actually attempt the maths.

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The ratio of toilets per student has always been inadequate- perhaps the solution is building more toilets, not locking them so there’s less.

Even before the issue of vandalism, just a few hundred kids using toilets that aren’t cleaned throughout the day is bound to get filthy from the kids not having ample time to actually buy a snack, nip to the loo and chill out before next lesson. In the 90’s we actually had decent break times and just over an hour for lunch - but again, it’s simply targets before children!

Dramatic · 11/10/2023 12:21

Verbena17 · 11/10/2023 12:20

The ratio of toilets per student has always been inadequate- perhaps the solution is building more toilets, not locking them so there’s less.

Even before the issue of vandalism, just a few hundred kids using toilets that aren’t cleaned throughout the day is bound to get filthy from the kids not having ample time to actually buy a snack, nip to the loo and chill out before next lesson. In the 90’s we actually had decent break times and just over an hour for lunch - but again, it’s simply targets before children!

Show quote history

Yeah my kids get half an hour for dinner, not enough at all!

Verbena17 · 11/10/2023 12:23

@Dramatic i don’t understand how a child I supposed to even go and buy their school dinner and eat it during a 30 min break….then add in a loo break and chilling time. What on Earth have schools become!

Bizyboo · 11/10/2023 12:24

I have to agree

TheFormidableMrsC · 11/10/2023 12:24

All those saying this hasn't happened, my son's school is like this. My friend's daughter ended up with a severe UTI as not permitted to use the toilet. The whole situation is utterly ridiculous.

SamPoodle123 · 11/10/2023 12:25

This is terrible and can cause dc to get UTIs by holding their wee daily for long hours.....making them scared to drink water for fear they may need the toilet. Shocking this is allowed.....

Verbena17 · 11/10/2023 12:25

I’ve just looked up the average daily time table for UK category B PRISON.
Lunch starts at Midday and afternoon activities start at 13:15.

That says it all - when UK prisoners get longer lunch breaks than Uk school children!

Multipleexclamationmarks · 11/10/2023 12:37

They are locked at my children's school too. They're supposed to be opened at break but there is never any staff to do it.
My kids leave the house at 7am and don't usually go again till after 3pm when they walk up to the local shopping centre to go there.

Graciebobcat · 11/10/2023 12:39

Verbena17 · 11/10/2023 12:25

I’ve just looked up the average daily time table for UK category B PRISON.
Lunch starts at Midday and afternoon activities start at 13:15.

That says it all - when UK prisoners get longer lunch breaks than Uk school children!

They get better food too.

Tryingmybestadhd · 11/10/2023 12:40

Our kids are being treated as animals and people are allowing it . Bathrooms are a necessity , having to request to pee is wrong , having to ask to pee and get punished for a physiological function is ludicrous! Parents should be bringing this to the governors attention and demanding it to change

QueenCamilla · 11/10/2023 12:48

@Graciebobcat Abject nonsense. School suspend pupils for the slightest thing these days.

Really? You mean suspend for an afternoon of colouring in in the "sensory room" or a trip to the allotment?

And if you do mean expelled permanently, then how come that weed is smoked, cocaine snorted, plumbing intentionally damaged and children bullied so bad they're scared to enter the toilets? How can all of that (and more) be happening if the culprits are removed?

I bet the exclusion stats are made up by all the children misgendering their teachers.

My child is in an inner-city school in a non-selective area (what a mistake by the council!! ). Words "fuck" and "cunt" are aimed at teachers daily and those children are firmly at school still. When I was at school, there's no way they'd be there repeatedly causing absolute havoc.
Someone regularly pisses on the floor next to the loo for laughs...
It's just awful.

DoooooWhoop · 11/10/2023 12:55

This thread is shocking and I would withdraw my child.

I went to an open day today and I asked the pupils showing us around about the toilets... They said they are always open, never locked, they go in between lessons and teachers are fine if they are late to lessons as they used the toilet. They can go during lesson. At this school there was so much respect from students to teachers and teachers to students.