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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Introverts vs Extroverts

56 replies

tiersta · 09/10/2023 22:59

Food for thought.

AIBU to think you are only going to be an introvert if you have had your confidence knocked continuously? By one person or multiple.

Why else would you worry about saying things you want to say?

Speaking how you feel...

Surely you would be an extrovert if you hadn't been shut down in the past?

OP posts:
FOJN · 09/10/2023 23:01

It's helps if you understand what introvert and extrovert mean. Being an introvert does not mean you are shy or lack confidence, its often quite the opposite.

Extroverts are energised by company. Introverts are recharged by solitude.

WhateverMate · 09/10/2023 23:02

Strange thing to start a thread about without even Googling what the two words mean? Confused

echt · 09/10/2023 23:03

You beat me to it, @FOJN.

I'm an introvert but you'd never guess it on meeting me or in my work. Lots of confidence and good at public speaking, but boy do I need downtime.

LordEmsworth · 09/10/2023 23:03

Do you know what introvert and extrovert mean?

I am an introvert and I have no problem whatsoever telling people stuff they don't want to hear.

I do, however, find it tiring to be in a big group, difficult to make small talk with strangers, and embarrassing to interrupt someone else talking. That's not due to a lack of confidence.

Orangetattoo · 09/10/2023 23:04

Lifelong introvert here, I can recall introverted qualities as far back as my first year of school. Used to be quiet and shy, now just quiet. Love the company of others but I recharge in the company of myself 😊

DaisyWaldron · 09/10/2023 23:04

I'm an introvert, and I don't think I'm any less confident than extroverts, or worry any more about saying things. I just find it tiring to be around other people, even though it's often enjoyable.

CurrentlyNotSubscribed · 09/10/2023 23:05

I think you are getting the term 'introverted' mixed up with the concept of low-self esteem. Being introverted, to me, is about deriving energy from being alone, while for extroverts, energy is derived from - you guessed it - being around others. Perhaps I am wrong, but I identify as being an introvert and I don't identify as someone who has been oppressed in the way you've described.

FOJN · 09/10/2023 23:05

echt · 09/10/2023 23:03

You beat me to it, @FOJN.

I'm an introvert but you'd never guess it on meeting me or in my work. Lots of confidence and good at public speaking, but boy do I need downtime.

Me too. I'm very confident and assertive but I'm shattered after too much time with other people, no matter how much I like them.

Precipice · 09/10/2023 23:05

"Why else would you worry about saying things you want to say?" Worrying about saying things has nothing to do with being an introvert.

No amount of ego or confidence will make me not need time alone to relax.

TigerQueenie · 09/10/2023 23:07

I think you need to educate yourself before throwing around weird judgements.

I'm a very confident introvert and most certainly not afraid to say what I think (though I can use my judgement on whether it may or may not be appropriate to do so).

Simon Sinek summed it up perfectly for me. Everyone starts every day with 10 energies. Extroverts gain extra energies from social interactions, whilst introverts lose energies from social interactions. It doesn't mean we aren't confident or that we don't like people or socialising. It's that we don't thrive upon it.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/10/2023 23:08

No. I enjoy my own company and not feel the need to be surrounded by loads of people all the time. I'm also not afraid to speak my mind in social and work situations. Agree with pp you need to actually look up what an introvert even means.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/10/2023 23:10

Why else would you worry about saying things you want to say?

Literally nowhere in the definition of being an introvert does it say anything about worrying about what you want to say.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/10/2023 23:10

You're so wrong, I'm almost embarrassed for you.

tiersta · 09/10/2023 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Takacupokindnessyet · 09/10/2023 23:26

Yabu

Original poster
tiersta · 09/10/2023 23:27

Aquamarine1029 · 09/10/2023 23:10

You're so wrong, I'm almost embarrassed for you.

😂

OP posts:
Malarandras · 09/10/2023 23:27

Was that supposed to be ‘ciao’?

indigovapour · 09/10/2023 23:28

Malarandras · 09/10/2023 23:27

Was that supposed to be ‘ciao’?

She did say food for thought.

keffie12 · 09/10/2023 23:30

Hmm! If you met me, you would think I was an extrovert. I'm not.

I'm what they call sociable buy introverted.

OK, my life story hasn't helped, but it's my nature. I'm not a people's person.

It's the nature/nurture argument - like the chicken and the egg.

It's not as simple as you state

FOJN · 09/10/2023 23:30

Chow 🖕

This has to be the funniest flounce I've ever seen on MN.

Ciao to you too.

icantchangetime · 09/10/2023 23:31

Mein?

GodDammitCecil · 09/10/2023 23:33

if you have had your confidence knocked continuously? By one person or multiple.

Way to prove the OP right, people!

Talipesmum · 09/10/2023 23:35

Food for thought.

AIBU to think you are only going to be an extrovert if you have had your loud chattering encouraged continuously when it was totally unmerited, never had anyone ask you to leave them in peace or be quiet? By one person or multiple.

Why else would you think that people want to speak with you all the time and never have any peace for themselves or their own thoughts?

Listening to how you feel and understanding others may be different to you...

Surely you would be an introvert if you hadn't been over encouraged and indulged in the past?

—————————-

FWIW I don’t think this is an accurate description at all of introversion or extroversion. But why would you automatically place extroversion as the default? It’s like all those articles telling introverts how to be more extroverted. You rarely see it the other way round. Examine your biases!

FOJN · 09/10/2023 23:38

GodDammitCecil · 09/10/2023 23:33

if you have had your confidence knocked continuously? By one person or multiple.

Way to prove the OP right, people!

OP didn't say whether she was an introvert or an extrovert so your claim we have proved her point has no basis.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/10/2023 23:44

Chow

🤣🤣🤣🤣