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Original poster

To as you to teach your child how to act around dogs?

418 replies

ToBeOrNotToBee · 07/10/2023 19:58

I'm gobsmacked, truly, still around an hour or so after this event.
Dog and I have had a busy day travelling and exploring the countryside.
On our way home, coming off train 3 of 3 on the return leg, having been out for 12 hours, I walk to the lift (which is around a corner and obscured by a stairwell) at the end of the platform with dog to heel besides me.
We're waiting with a few others when this 5-6 year old child appears around the corner, running towards us, hands outstretched, literally beelining for the dog. I see what's about to happen and immediately put the dog behind my legs and put my hand out telling the child a stern 'No'.
The child then tries to go behind to reach my dog, who is cowering between my legs. I have no choice but to grab hold of the child's coat and physically stop them, letting go when the child stops trying to reach my dog.
After a moment or two, the Dad appears and then screams at me for touching his child. As he's midscream, the lift appears and I go into it with a few others and doors close as everyone else looks awkwardly at their feet.
The doors close, we go on our merry wall.
But I couldn't stop this feeling that the child will one day do that to the wrong dog and end up a dog bite statistic.
Say for example, I wasn't as switched on, and my dog as placid as he is, or in pain that day, and the child did poke him painfully causing him to snap and bite. Child would have been hurt, my dog potentially put down, and I get a conviction for having a Dangerous Dog Out of Control.
It's something I've noticed over recent years, people treating strange dogs as public property and not animals with sharp teeth and their own minds.
So please, teach your children not to run whilst on busy train platforms (or any train platform), to not approach unknown dogs, and if someone says no, to respect it.

Is that too much to ask???

OP posts:
YeOldeGreyhound · 07/10/2023 22:36

2boyzNosleep · 07/10/2023 22:32

Even the most well trained dogs can bite and snap. Are we forgetting that a dog is an animal that cannot tell a child to leave them alone?
As the owner said, her dog was tired, if the dog was also in pain or taken by surprise the automatic response may he to bite.

Let's flip it, if a child approached an unfamiliar cat and the child got scratched/bitten by the cat, would that be a surprise?

Obviously I'm aware that a dog can do more damage, but parents need to teach their children to behave and respect ALL animals.

I saw a thing on FB earlier about how dogs are not allowed to say 'no' anymore.
Years ago, you were told to leave a dog alone when it was eating. If you tried to grab it and it growled, it was your fault. Nowadays, the dog is labelled as aggressive and people call for it to be PTS.

Sigmama · 07/10/2023 22:36

Well yes because it would be a dog attacking a child

applesandmares · 07/10/2023 22:38

YANBU you protected the child and your dog. I've had this happen loads of times although a child has never got close enough for me to physically stop them as even if they don't listen to me telling them no, my dog will bark if approached too closely by unknown children, so they back off.

In other news, I was in awe of a little girl who can't be older than 6/7 at the park today who came over and very politely asked to stroke the dog. I felt bad saying no, and told her I was sorry that she couldn't as my dog was scared of people she doesn't know. Makes a difference to the usual interactions.

ZiriForEver · 07/10/2023 22:39

I don't like the generic formulation "teach to act around the dogs", as it means very different things for different people. I don't like dogs in general.

That said, YANBU asking to teach not to approach a dog without clear permission. That's totally sensible.

ToadOnTheHill · 07/10/2023 22:39

I think you could have been less stern in the first instance although it may not have made a difference. I also think the responsibility was on you to move away and not grab a child.

I do agree no child should ever approach a dog without being invited to. I also think people should keep dogs on leads or, at the very least, stop them from approaching people whole their owner gives a half hearted telling off to the dog and a goofy smile to adults saying "shes friendly.

I have probably had about 5 dogs do this in the last 18 months and I'm as fucked off with it as you and other dog owners are with kids who aren't taught better.

HappiestSleeping · 07/10/2023 22:40

Circumferences · 07/10/2023 22:29

Yeah I can't understand adults who happily Gaddy about with dangerous animals.

You must mean parents 🤪

RandyAndTheRainbows · 07/10/2023 22:42

Yes, it's important to teach children that some dogs don't like being fussed. YANBU at all. Why is the onus on the dog owner to parent someone else's child?

Original poster
ToBeOrNotToBee · 07/10/2023 22:42

ToadOnTheHill · 07/10/2023 22:39

I think you could have been less stern in the first instance although it may not have made a difference. I also think the responsibility was on you to move away and not grab a child.

I do agree no child should ever approach a dog without being invited to. I also think people should keep dogs on leads or, at the very least, stop them from approaching people whole their owner gives a half hearted telling off to the dog and a goofy smile to adults saying "shes friendly.

I have probably had about 5 dogs do this in the last 18 months and I'm as fucked off with it as you and other dog owners are with kids who aren't taught better.

There was no where to move to, unless you'd want me to lure a running child to a platform edge.

OP posts:
TheLightProgramme · 07/10/2023 22:43

Was your dog on a lead op? Why couldn't you just walk the dog away?

I read stories on here like this from dog owners and they always sound exaggerated. My DC is this age and ive never seen a DC that age (apart from one with SEN) behave like this, neither have i seen them run off at a train station.....

nocoolnamesleft · 07/10/2023 22:43

CwmYoy · 07/10/2023 22:33

Of course children should be taught to leave dogs alone.

But if all dogs were muzzled in public it would be even better.

Yep.

FedUpOfItA · 07/10/2023 22:44

LittleMrsPretty · 07/10/2023 21:37

My 2 year old loves dogs but I’m trying to teach her to ask the owner before approaching the dog. You are being unreasonable to say to teach kids NEVER to approach unknown dogs as that teaches kids to be scared of animals.

You could have also been a bit nicer with your words. The single world no is what you tell a dog not a child. You could have said please don't touch my dog. Rather than a harsh NO.

Omg that's hilarious 😂 So we always have to be super gentle to kids because we might hurt their feelings. A firm no is sometimes the best response. Finding kind words isn't always appropriate when there's a shortage of time.

Mischance · 07/10/2023 22:46

BelindaBears · 07/10/2023 20:29

My DD knows to stay the fuck away from all dogs, but I’ve been criticised before for “making” her afraid of dogs and shouted at for crossing the road to avoid off lead dogs so frankly, parents can’t win. Sounds like an annoying situation but ultimately your dog must be entirely under your control, and if that means removing it from the situation so be it. In the same way as you can’t trust other people to drive properly so have to have your own wits about you in the car, you can’t trust other people to behave in what you deem to be an appropriate way around your dog.

Yes indeed. I couldn't agree more.

And as for dogs on trains - one was sitting on my feet the other week! It's owner thought this was just fine!

Robotalkingrubbish · 07/10/2023 22:48

My experience is that children do know to ask whether they can stroke my dog. I had two small girls ask me and as my dog is a complete softie and loves children, I said yes. Sadly granny marched up and shooed the children away saying “come away, it’ll bite you”.

truthhurts23 · 07/10/2023 22:48

you did nothing wrong

Sigmama · 07/10/2023 22:49

Humans take precedence in public really, if you do have a dog that could potentially inflict serious harm on another person, stay away from busy areas

RaeHitsEbSire · 07/10/2023 22:50

My dog died a couple of years ago, but I was pleasantly surprised that the majority of children who showed an interest in him politely asked if it was OK to stroke him. He was a small dog, gentle and very happy to receive affection - we don't have children so I made sure he had the chance to meet children in the safe space of his puppy classes.

YeOldeGreyhound · 07/10/2023 22:50

Sigmama · 07/10/2023 22:49

Humans take precedence in public really, if you do have a dog that could potentially inflict serious harm on another person, stay away from busy areas

You seem to conveniently ignore the fact that the father was letting his small child run about near a train platform. I guess if the kid had yeeted themselves onto the track, and a train hit them, it would be the train drivers fault.

ForeveraBluebird · 07/10/2023 22:53

A railway platform is pretty high on the list of places to not let a small child run around .

IveHadItUpToHere · 07/10/2023 22:55

No matter how well you 'teach' your DC about dogs, a 5-yr-old might still get excited when they see a dog in a place they weren't expecting it. And I don't think you can blame parents for not anticipating that a dog might be round a corner in a train station.

Lostcotter · 07/10/2023 22:57

Rudolphthefrog · 07/10/2023 20:37

I’ll agree with you completely - though I have never let my children touch random dogs, even if the owner allows or encourages it. We are a “look but don’t touch” family with animals we don’t know.

But I’ll also add it cuts both ways - plenty of off lead/retractable lead dogs have come right up to me and my child, chased my child and one even tried to grab a toy out of his hand. One knocked him right over as a toddler. All in kids playgrounds or football pitches. My child is terrified of dogs because of it. Owners usually mumbling about it being “friendly”.

So how about everybody teaches the beings they are responsible for to behave respectfully, keep their distance and if those beings can’t or won’t behave appropriately, keeps them under physical control. Dog or child.

This.

someone said this :
“I get the feeling that this thread will attract the dog hating contingent of MN, so I have my bingo card ready.”

Well I haven’t read the whole threads but personally speaking I generally don’t like dogs and can’t stand the recent uptick in them jumping up at strangers and running through picnics etc, but I think the dad and child were mostly at fault here.

That said, I can see why the dads jerk reaction might be anger if they see someone touch their child, depending on how much they saw of what happened immediately before but they really need to teach their child better. I wouldn’t let a child in my care touch a dog even if the owner let us tbh so he needs to be more sensible but also that child was very defiant!

Xmasbaby11 · 07/10/2023 22:58

I agree. I’ve drummed it into my kids not to approach a dog without checking with the owner. So dangerous - or just plain annoying for dogs and their owners.

we don’t have a dog and dd has asd - loves dogs but can’t read their behaviour well.

pyjamalife · 07/10/2023 22:59

It's just as annoying when a child has clearly been told to ask before petting a dog...

But doesn't listen to the answer.

Several times I've had "can I stroke your dog" "no" child lunges forward hand outstretched.

I step in the way/pull dog back.

Kids need to be taught to listen to what the owner says and react appropriately. Mine love my dog, but know to leave other dogs alone. Similarly, my dog loves my kids (mostly) but not any others and gets super nervous about people approaching him.

Lostcotter · 07/10/2023 23:00

sprigatito · 07/10/2023 20:43

Why does it need to be an either/or?! Surely the common-sense position is that both dogs and small children need to be gradually socialised into safe and acceptable behaviour, and kept under control by responsible adults until they have mastered it?

I'm often dubbed one of the "dog-hating brigade" on MN because I object to dogs jumping up at me, ruined picnics and the shocking levels of dog fouling in public spaces. And even I think you're mad to suggest that parents bear no responsibility for teaching their children to behave safely around dogs.

Edited
Show quote history

I agree with this.

gotomomo · 07/10/2023 23:03

Try having a border collie, cue young kids shouting sheepdog at a notoriously nippy breed!

Natty13 · 07/10/2023 23:03

piintheski · 07/10/2023 20:20

It is not up to you how other people parent their children, whether you agree with it or not. It is up to you to ensure your dog is not a risk to anyone, including out of control children

Cool cool, good point. It is not anyone's place to tell others how to parent. But I do have the right to defend my property, which my dog is. If parents choose not to teach their children not to run up to and grab dogs they don't know, I'll have to keep stopping them.

Really dont understand the motivation behind these posts. My dog wouldn't (and doesn't) react to children pulling her ears and all sorts, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow that so any child who tries this will be stopped by me. If you don't want your child blocked by a stranger then teach them not to grab dogs without asking, if you don't mind it then leave at it!