To as you to teach your child how to act around dogs?

[ToBeOrNotToBee]

I'm gobsmacked, truly, still around an hour or so after this event.
Dog and I have had a busy day travelling and exploring the countryside.
On our way home, coming off train 3 of 3 on the return leg, having been out for 12 hours, I walk to the lift (which is around a corner and obscured by a stairwell) at the end of the platform with dog to heel besides me.
We're waiting with a few others when this 5-6 year old child appears around the corner, running towards us, hands outstretched, literally beelining for the dog. I see what's about to happen and immediately put the dog behind my legs and put my hand out telling the child a stern 'No'.
The child then tries to go behind to reach my dog, who is cowering between my legs. I have no choice but to grab hold of the child's coat and physically stop them, letting go when the child stops trying to reach my dog.
After a moment or two, the Dad appears and then screams at me for touching his child. As he's midscream, the lift appears and I go into it with a few others and doors close as everyone else looks awkwardly at their feet.
The doors close, we go on our merry wall.
But I couldn't stop this feeling that the child will one day do that to the wrong dog and end up a dog bite statistic.
Say for example, I wasn't as switched on, and my dog as placid as he is, or in pain that day, and the child did poke him painfully causing him to snap and bite. Child would have been hurt, my dog potentially put down, and I get a conviction for having a Dangerous Dog Out of Control.
It's something I've noticed over recent years, people treating strange dogs as public property and not animals with sharp teeth and their own minds.
So please, teach your children not to run whilst on busy train platforms (or any train platform), to not approach unknown dogs, and if someone says no, to respect it.

Is that too much to ask???

YANBU, it is basic common sense not to approach strange dogs. Also, not to run about on train platforms, but that should go without saying.
The vast majority of children who approach my greyhound ask if they can stroke her (she loves the fuss).
I have a friend who has chihuahuas, and she experiences the opposite to me. Parents let their kids try to grab her dogs as if they are toys.

I get the feeling that this thread will attract the dog hating contingent of MN, so I have my bingo card ready.

My younger dd knows not to touch a dog before asking and when we see a dog out and about she often gets me to ask on her behalf.

I think the dad was likely embarrassed by the fact that he was caught out not watching his kid which is why he screamed at you. Very annoying for you.

I totally agree that people should teach kids how to act around dogs. We have a fairy nervous but cute looking dog and this kind of thing has happened to us a few times.

The parents were obviously totally in the wrong but I'm finding it hard to figure out why a child of 5-6 didn't listen to your instruction as they were plenty old enough, but also could you not have quickly walked your dog away rather than grabbing the kid?

YANBU.

I'm initially polite but have had to raise my voice before as the child has refused to listen & kept on approaching.

My dogs are not public property.

It is not up to you how other people parent their children, whether you agree with it or not. It is up to you to ensure your dog is not a risk to anyone, including out of control children

Yanbu. I would be supremely annoyed in your shoes. And say say that as a non-dog-owning parent of young DC.

I agree, but it's also incumbent on parents to keep their young children out of trouble.

I am not a dog owner or fan, but was out with a friend and her dog a few weeks ago and was surprised that people let their kids come up and stroke without asking first. My friend's dog was very mild mannered and didn't mind, but it could have been different.

(also when did we start using the verb "parent" instead of "bring up" or "look after" or "teach". It sounds so wanky)

YANBU - my DD is 4 and dog obsessed and will let out a coo of 'aww a cutie doggy' but I always tell her and remind her to ask before going to touch the dog. The motto is that she might want to be friends with the dog, but they might not want to be friends with her.

I'm a dog owner and I've taught DC to always ask the owner before approaching a dog. But I think yabu grabbing the child. If your dog is volatile then it needs a muzzle in public.

Whoever was responsible for that child is clearly in the wrong in this case, that's true regardless of how anyone feels about dogs or about children. I am sorry this happened, but I expect it's not a rare event, sadly.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

People should educate their kids not to approach strange dogs.

Dog owners should keep their dogs under control (as you did).

It's not just about a dog being potentially volatile though, it's the child ignoring instruction from an adult and trying to force themselves on a dog who clearly does not want the interaction!

I have had this a few times , I am very switched on when it comes to my dog ,she is quite small and looks like a pup but she is also very timid . I was waiting outside a shop for my DH and a child 8 ish came over and started to try and touch her I asked him not to and stepped away with her . The bloody child just kept coming , so that my dog started running around my legs with her lead I was literally knotted up around the ankles with her lead I tried to get one leg out and fell sideways into the wall elbow first now in agony and the bloody child still carried on chasing and trying to grab her . I was in agony and just snapped at him to " Fuck off " thankfully he did . In the end I had fractured my elbow . Now whenever I see a child heading our way I just pick her up and turn away. Please teach your kids not to do this .

YANBU at all. We don't have a dog but I have taught both my children (now 2 and 4) to never approach a dog without asking the owner first, if the owner says yes they know to be quiet and gentle and let the dog see them and sniff their hand first. They always say thank you if they've been allowed to stroke the dog (makes their day!) And if the owner says no or isn't sure then it's an absolute no and we keep on walking without a fuss.

Nice, do you also think women who wear short skirts are asking for it?

It sounds like the child was the risk to the dog here, and not the other way around. You cannot absolve the guardian of the child of any responsibility here!

My dog has been well trained and behaves well in public. However if a child grabs his ears, tail, mouth etc, it’s highly likely he will react in self defence. Parents need to train their children.

My DD knows to stay the fuck away from all dogs, but I’ve been criticised before for “making” her afraid of dogs and shouted at for crossing the road to avoid off lead dogs so frankly, parents can’t win. Sounds like an annoying situation but ultimately your dog must be entirely under your control, and if that means removing it from the situation so be it. In the same way as you can’t trust other people to drive properly so have to have your own wits about you in the car, you can’t trust other people to behave in what you deem to be an appropriate way around your dog.

Not great that the child’s running along the platform either. I think you made the right decision in the circumstances OP

YANBU. My DS knows not to approach dogs without permission and always has done. His class also had a person from The Dogs Trust come and do a talk about how to behave around a dogs which I thought was great.

I’ll agree with you completely - though I have never let my children touch random dogs, even if the owner allows or encourages it. We are a “look but don’t touch” family with animals we don’t know.

But I’ll also add it cuts both ways - plenty of off lead/retractable lead dogs have come right up to me and my child, chased my child and one even tried to grab a toy out of his hand. One knocked him right over as a toddler. All in kids playgrounds or football pitches. My child is terrified of dogs because of it. Owners usually mumbling about it being “friendly”.

So how about everybody teaches the beings they are responsible for to behave respectfully, keep their distance and if those beings can’t or won’t behave appropriately, keeps them under physical control. Dog or child.

My dog is well trained but doesn’t like her head being touched. I’ve had two idiot adults try and stroke her head from behind so she didn’t even see the hand coming. I’m working hard to desensitise her, but flip, what idiot thinks it’s ok for a hand to come out of nowhere?

My dog looks like a teddy bear and small children love to pet her. Fortunately she is very placid and small enough that I can scoop her up if she’s nervous.

To be honest, we mostly have really positive interactions with families. I’m always super impressed when a small child opens will ‘please can I pet your dog’. Even better when they actually wait for the response and then go in sensitively, letting my dog sniff their hand and then stroking her with an open upturned palm under the chin. Textbook approach!

In return, I’m already ready to help a parent sensitise their child to dogs if they want to. My dog is small, calm and friendly enough to provide a positive and confidence-building experience for a nervous child.

Luckily my children won't approach dogs. Whilst I wouldn't have let them anyway, they're terrified of dogs because of incidents with poorly behaved dogs/owners. I also wouldn't let my children disappear in a station.

Why does it need to be an either/or?! Surely the common-sense position is that both dogs and small children need to be gradually socialised into safe and acceptable behaviour, and kept under control by responsible adults until they have mastered it?

I'm often dubbed one of the "dog-hating brigade" on MN because I object to dogs jumping up at me, ruined picnics and the shocking levels of dog fouling in public spaces. And even I think you're mad to suggest that parents bear no responsibility for teaching their children to behave safely around dogs.