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Original poster

Free bacon butties for the dads - wtf!!

283 replies

PlumPudd · 05/10/2023 15:16

Someone posted this to a community WhatsApp group near me. What the hell?!? I thought it was a joke but apparently it’s a national initiative and happens in playgroups and churches all over the country!!

Free bacon butties for dads to incentivise aka bribe them into spending some of the weekend playing with their own kids!

Firstly, why should they be rewarded / bribed with bacon butties. It’s basic 101 parenting - looking after your own child who you helped to create at the weekend - nobody is giving mums anything to get them to spend the rest of the weekend with the kids.

Secondly, bacon butties for blokes?!?!? What sexist nonsense is this, is bacon too manly for women to handle? Is it the Yorkie bar of sandwich fillings. I bet if they were going to bribe / incentivise mums they wouldn’t give them bacon, they’d give them fondant fancies or face masks or something.

Lighthearted rant over… I know it’s good to encourage equal parenting etc but talk about setting a low bar

Free bacon butties for the dads - wtf!!
OP posts:
PurpleMonkeys · 05/10/2023 15:18

Dude. It's 2023... get your mates together, rock up, ide tofu as blokes for an hour, eat bacon.
Jobs a fackin goodun ennit bruv.

PurpleMonkeys · 05/10/2023 15:20

Ide tofu...

For fuck sake phone.. when have I ever typed ide tofu in the 3 years I've had you?.

*Indentify

Ducking winker of a phone

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 05/10/2023 15:20

When my dc were small (19 and 16 now) we attended a local toddler group on a Weds. It was for mum's/dads/ whatever adult looked after the child. Squash and biscuits for the dc. Tea/coffee and biscuits for the adults.

Then there was one on Saturday morning. I asked about it and was told it was only for dad's. Oh, but they needed more mums to come and cook the bacon sandwiches that they got. Fuck that.

Ellegeebee · 05/10/2023 15:21

Our local church one was even worse than this. It said something along the lines of “bacon butties and newspapers for the dads… let mum have a rest”. I was so fucking annoyed. I’m married to another woman, I was the stay at home parent and she worked all week, she would have quite liked this too l, but could she go? No. I went to play groups all week long and no one ever made me a bacon sarnie. Pathetic and outdated.

Begsthequestion · 05/10/2023 15:22

Don't see anything wrong with the initiative overall, why not have a dads get together sometimes? However the free food only caters to pork consumers so I'd be wondering what the alternative is for vegetarians and Muslims etc.

mindutopia · 05/10/2023 15:22

Um, I don't think this is an event where only the dads will get bacon butties and the mums will sit there sad and sipping their lukewarm coffee in a flask from home. It's a dad's playgroup. We have one in our local town on a Saturday morning. I don't think they do bacon butties, but it is a space for dad's to meet other dads and do the playgroup thing in an organised way. I mean I think these things are a bit weird anyway (and I say that about playgroups during the week that are aimed more at mum's). Outside of the very early baby days, I've not particularly felt a strong need to socialise with other mums just because we are mums and have children the same age. So I tend to avoid the mum's stay and play, coffee meetups, walk and talk sort of things. I'd rather hang out with my friends or just do something more interesting than hang out with random other parents. But some people like them. That's fine. More power to dads if they want to get out and meet other dads, I guess. Dh, like me, would rather poke his own eye out than go to a playgroup on a Saturday morning, but more power to them if they want to do bacon butties! I'm not offended.

amicissimma · 05/10/2023 15:24

My church does this. I supspect the 'bribe' is to get them to cross the threshold of a church - look at the hostility to religion on MN. It's offered once a month.

OTOH, there is a group for women and kids every week. There's coffee, croissants and pastries. If someone is around who's prepared to cook (and, crucially, wash up), they offer bacon butties but there's so little uptake that they don't usually bother.

QueenFree · 05/10/2023 15:24

PurpleMonkeys · 05/10/2023 15:20

Ide tofu...

For fuck sake phone.. when have I ever typed ide tofu in the 3 years I've had you?.

*Indentify

Ducking winker of a phone

Ducking winker 🤣

LolaSmiles · 05/10/2023 15:25

I don't see it as being much different from having refreshments on at any other event for parents.

I've gone to events with DC where tea and cakes or biscuits were provided, and evening events where pizza was provided.

Like pp I just hope they've catered for vegetarians and people who don't eat pork.

margotrose · 05/10/2023 15:25

Playgroups etc. are generally very "mum" dominated - isn't this just a way to encourage men to come and take their kids to playgroup without feeling as though they stuck out like sore thumb?

Mumof2teens79 · 05/10/2023 15:29

The thing with these church playgroups, and don't get me wrong they are well run and very supportive, but ultimately its almost all about evangelism.

Dad's (and grandparents) are perfectly welcome at the midweek playgroups too, but it's still true that more mums SAH and Dad's work.

The church is not only trying to recruit Dad's and families into the church, but if they are doing genuine outreach and trying to encourage more Dad's to be active involved parents then I am sure bacon butties will appeal to their target audience.

DragonFly98 · 05/10/2023 15:32

It's an evengenical opportunity to spread the gospel to dad's in a way they feel comfortable it's nothing to do with looking after your own kids or food but I agree the wording is patronising.

32notdeadyet · 05/10/2023 15:33

QueenFree · 05/10/2023 15:24

Ducking winker 🤣

Show quote history

It’s the typo in identify for me 🤣🤣 (absolutely no shade @PurpleMonkeys, we’ve all been there!)

LumpyandBumps · 05/10/2023 15:33

My local church doesn’t limit bacon sandwiches to just Dads. It has a ‘Men’s Breakfast’ I sort of understand that some men find it hard to go out and meet others and I think it’s meant to be inclusive for men rather than discrimination against women.
I can’t help thinking though that many women would think it was a nice change if someone cooked them breakfast.

Lovingitallnow · 05/10/2023 15:33

Depends on who organised and funds it. If dads organise and fund I've no problem.

dianamoonyan · 05/10/2023 15:34

Isn't this just an initiative to encourage fathers to take their kids to this event, give the mum some kid free time and perhaps meet and make friends with other fathers of young kids? Seems alright to me.

Callig · 05/10/2023 15:35

Mmm I think it depends. If it’s a group set up for/aimed at Dads and they serve sandwiches to the Dads, fine, but if it’s a ‘normal’ playgroup and only blokes get given sandwiches, then that’s pretty shite.

LadyBird1973 · 05/10/2023 15:37

Not the point of the thread but why does anything on offer have to cater to everyone else? If the deal is bacon butties, then take it or leave it, according to your preference. But I don't see why the organiser has to get Quorn in or whatever because you're a veggie. Take your own if it means that much to you!

Begsthequestion · 05/10/2023 15:37

Mumof2teens79 · 05/10/2023 15:29

The thing with these church playgroups, and don't get me wrong they are well run and very supportive, but ultimately its almost all about evangelism.

Dad's (and grandparents) are perfectly welcome at the midweek playgroups too, but it's still true that more mums SAH and Dad's work.

The church is not only trying to recruit Dad's and families into the church, but if they are doing genuine outreach and trying to encourage more Dad's to be active involved parents then I am sure bacon butties will appeal to their target audience.

Oh wow, you're completely right. I assumed this was the kind of local play group that just happened to take place in a church hall because it's cheap to hire and has a kitchen, like I knew growing up.

Turns out it's part of a recruitment strategy for a particular church: https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/support-for-you/faith-in-the-family/support-for-churches/wltdo/

In that case I don't support this initiative at all.

Pix56 · 05/10/2023 15:38

Nothing stopping you joining a church group, and organising something similar for the women.

gotomomo · 05/10/2023 15:38

@LumpyandBumps

We have "boys night out" I gatecrash to make a point Grin

TheHappinessEnigma · 05/10/2023 15:40

DragonFly98 · 05/10/2023 15:32

It's an evengenical opportunity to spread the gospel to dad's in a way they feel comfortable it's nothing to do with looking after your own kids or food but I agree the wording is patronising.

I doubt there’s any gospel spreading at a kid’s playgroup.
They use church halls for all sorts of functions; the hall is just rented from the church as a source of income for them, they’re not running it themselves.

Theunamedcat · 05/10/2023 15:40

They tried this where I used to live my then husband was all for it I said you will have to look after your own child he said....with you? I'm like no its a DADS group for DADS only...they laughed thinking he was joking he wasn't he actually thought I would be coming to make the sandwiches and watch the kids honestly I do that at home why would I want to do that out the house too

coxesorangepippin · 05/10/2023 15:42

Bit like the Yorkie bars of yore

Toddlerteaplease · 05/10/2023 15:42

A church plant near my parents does a dads and kids Lego breakfast. I would love to go to that. (If I actually had kids) but I'm female!