Free bacon butties for the dads - wtf!!

[PlumPudd]

Someone posted this to a community WhatsApp group near me. What the hell?!? I thought it was a joke but apparently it’s a national initiative and happens in playgroups and churches all over the country!!

Free bacon butties for dads to incentivise aka bribe them into spending some of the weekend playing with their own kids!

Firstly, why should they be rewarded / bribed with bacon butties. It’s basic 101 parenting - looking after your own child who you helped to create at the weekend - nobody is giving mums anything to get them to spend the rest of the weekend with the kids.

Secondly, bacon butties for blokes?!?!? What sexist nonsense is this, is bacon too manly for women to handle? Is it the Yorkie bar of sandwich fillings. I bet if they were going to bribe / incentivise mums they wouldn’t give them bacon, they’d give them fondant fancies or face masks or something.

Lighthearted rant over… I know it’s good to encourage equal parenting etc but talk about setting a low bar

must cost a bit depending on the numbers

SnobblyBobbly · Today 15:46

I help to arrange community events as part of my job and you need a wide range of incentives to appeal different groups of people. (Which feels a bit like I'm stating the obvious).

Sometimes it's ok to think 'Maybe this group isn't aimed at me' and move on with your day.

And sometimes it's ok to call out the blatant sexism! It's not the fact that it's a group just for Dads. This is about bacon! Or rather, the lack of!

Ducking winker

I really want someone to offend me so I can call them a ducking winker 😂

If you don't like the obligatory 5 minute bible story by the way then don't go!!

In the dead of winter when it is effin freezing and the local park is iced over on a Saturday morning and you want to be out of the house for an hour or two I still think sitting through a couple of bible stories for the benefit of being somewhere warm and safe for the kids with toys on offer and (if you want it) some kind of food - is worth it?

talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth!
if you object to bible stories or anything of the christian or other faith you don't have to go you could go to the local weatherspoons instead and the kids can do without the toys.

Not this one.

All volunteers running these groups must adhere to the organisation's statement of faith and the nicene creed. It's a Christian charity promoting its particular view on family, publishing a lot of literature on how to parent etc. I've been looking at the organisation behind the groups online: https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/legal-information/

Of course all the vegans and veggies comment 🙄

So what. Take ya own sarnie.

Bacon is the delicious 😋

Many churches are self-funding/partly self-funding. If they want to invite dads and their children to play with toys and eat bacon for free why is that a problem? If you want to organise an event where mums and children can play and eat bacon for free you can.

I wish they did toddler groups at the weekend round here!

"talk about setting a low bar"

however low the bar is, the bar is not set by the venue hosting the event, is it, and can hardly be blamed if the men attending never otherwise look after their own children.

Claiming this sort of thing to be sexist undermines the fight against genuine inequality. No difference to a mums coffee and cake morning or whatever. There is nothing wrong in trying to cater to the dads to encourage them to get involved. We're talking a bacon roll here not a season ticket to the football.

Same as getting teas and biscuits at toddler groups. Good way of getting dads out together, there are loads of groups for women.

Maybe you could start up a Mummy's Macaroon Madness Meetup?

I find it annoying as not once at baby playgroups was I offered a bacon sandwich! Why can’t the dads deal with crappy coffee and a biscuit like we do?

That being said, nothing would convince my husband to attend one of these groups. He’d rather take our kids out or play with them at home as he’s an introvert and the idea of a forced group would be terrible, even if bacon was offered 😂 So I think good on the Dads that attend!

Does it matter? As long as its not public money and there is no discrimination on race or gender then its private money that can be given away how it wishes.

But people like me who can't eat gluten, nuts, dairy etc dont make a fuss about not being catered for. Is it ok to exclude people with food allergies/intolerances? No, but you can't cater for everyone, where would it stop?

Sadly it's very much true. They also "needed" mums to help clear the toys away at the end. Oddly enough we were expected to clear up on a Weds too.

It seems times haven't moved on in that respect then.

It's been 20 years since mine were young enough for toddler groups/ playgroups, and there was just one dad amongst 30 mums.
Needless to say he was treated like a god!!!

Megifer · Today 15:51

I'm a feminist but stuff like this just makes us look ridiculous op, please stop 🤣

It's the equivalent of a mums coffee morning or whatever. Nothing to see here except you mistakenly thinking bacon butties are some sort of male beacon. I'd show up to watch someone taking a dump if there was a bacon barm in it for me.

I'm also a feminist and this, imo, doesn't make us look ridiculous. In fact, you support the OPs argument when you say that bacon sandwiches are not just for men. That is her exact point!! She doesn't think that they are for men. She thinks that the organisers think they are, which is misogynistic crap. Where are our bacon butties?? We need placards and a march!!

On a personal level having (more than a decade ago) suffered from postnatal depression, I can tell you that local church groups for (admittedly mainly mums but also parents in general) mums and newborns/toddlers was literally a lifeline for me to get out and talk to other parents and have a cup of coffee - and I wasn't the only one.

Who gives a sh*t if the messaging offends anyone OP, who are you to say that those once per month Dad's Saturday morning get togethers might also be a lifeline for some Dads with their first newborn who really need conversation with another man in the same position?

I for one love that typo and also wholeheartedly agree with the post it's in

I do agree with you OP, it is sexist.

But then I have also seen DH come back very dejected from play sessions at a local children's centre or library, where he was completely ignored by all the mums. He soon gave up going as he felt out of place. And then Covid hit, and that was that. If there were more groups where dads are genuinely welcome then that can only be a good thing.

I seem to recall one of our local churches offering the bacon sandwich Saturday morning thing.. DH didn't go because a) he didn't need to go anywhere on a Saturday, he wanted a playgroup during the week b) he doesn't like bacon c) he is concerned that should he step over the threshold of a church he will melt!

Some people don’t drink coffee. Do they feel discriminated against because they can’t partake, and glare balefully at the other parents who are accepting coffee, or do they just think “Well, I’ll give that a swerve, then” and get on with their day?
I suspect most normal people do the latter, but there’s always one, I suppose 🙄

Can I have a placard that says "bacon butties for booby owners"?

Obviously boobless women are also included.

Fondant fancies...🤣

Lovingitallnow · Today 15:33

'Depends on who organised and funds it. If dads organise and fund I've no problem.
Does it matter? As long as its not public money and there is no discrimination on race or gender then its private money that can be given away how it wishes.'

So you don't think that offering men free bacon sarnies whilst not offering them to women is gender discrimination???