This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

[Skysky1]

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

Hate is a strong word but I'm definitely not a child person except for my own and my niece and nephew.

From what was described in the OP, it is patently clear the other parent did not want the OP’s DC to interact with or get too near her DC. Who knows why but it sounds like more of a how dare he approach my little prince rather than fear her DC might have meltdown and try to get the toy or prevent OP’s DS from following her. If that was the case, she’d have exchanged a few words saying so.

Very aggressive act to put her hand in front of him and I’d be a bit WTF too. Normal behaviour would be to smile and say ‘that’s a nice toy’ etc to a small child and move swiftly along (not that that would really be possible with a walking 2 year old).

Unfortunately this is the way society has become, rude, insular and not even willing to exchange a few pleasantries for a few seconds to a fellow parent while walking along or encourage normal social interactions between young children. The responses on this thread are a case in point!

I think you have a point here. I remember my mil, who was so malicious to us, telling me that it was hard to name her children because she was a teacher and she couldn’t use any of the names for all her many years’ worth of students as she didn’t want to be reminded of any of them. I was surprised at the time because that meant she didn’t like any of her students. I understand not liking some, but all? I think it is disturbing when a person doesn’t like children generally.

Or maybe she's just a misery.

That's what kids do, they talk to other kids, they don't have to make an appointment to talk to people.

Kids are naturally friendly and don't have any hang ups it's the adults that have them.

Having seen the latest; so you have a non verbal autistic 3 year old and you are letting him wander off? As the mother of an adult with ASD please put him on reins, letting him wander around is just an accident waiting to happen.

Exactly. Can’t believe that some posters actually said it was rude of the three year old to approach the other kid 😵‍💫

<ul><li>"toddler: 1 to 3 years"</li></ul>

The NHS is wrong there because it is indeed 1 to 3 not 1-4 so they become a toddler on their first birthday and stop being one when they turn 3. I studied child development and that's what we were taught and that's generally considered to be the age range for toddlers, not 1-4.

Ask your self op why you bothered by this interaction. I can see 100s reasons why a mum wouldnt want the children to mix especially as your child had toys in his hand. Let it go but why you overthinking this.

I would have agreed if they’d been at a train station or close to a busy road. But a two meter distance inside a supermarket is not exactly ‚wandering off‘ and it doesn’t seem like the kid was running around (which wouldn’t have been great, I agree).

Maybe so, it is is genuinely alarming to see how much rude behaviour is regarded as perfectly normal and acceptable on this thread. What on earth is happening to us?
In the past, people welcomed conversation and interaction with others. Nowadays, we don't need it because we come on sites like this and social media to get our interaction so we don't 'need' to speak to real people and the fact that most on here don't seem to have a problem with a woman blocking a THREE-YEAR-OLD from taking to her child speaks volumes.
Ban or control all interaction outside the home, don't answer the door, ban visitors until baby is XX weeks old, go no contact with people over the slightest issues - then go back on social media to whine that you've got no-one to help out/babysit. Does anyone else think we are going mad?

. As another pp said, not everyone thinks other people's kids are cute
Especially not in M & S

I suspect the toddling child excited with his new toy was getting in the way of actual shoppers

Entitled parents think the whole world is a playground and we're all there to coo over their darling children

Yes, that does sound twattish

Brilliant

It was not rude. Parents do not owe explanations of their parenting methods to random strangers in the supermarket when they are on the run and likely have other things on their mind than other people's children. It was a nanosecond encounter between strangers who are unlikely to meet further.

A difference of opinion as to who is and is not rude is not gaslighting. Gaslighting is an insidious, longstanding method of abuse designed to mess with the victim's head to the extent that it makes them doubt their own reality. It's mental torture and a hideous form of abuse. To equate that kind of serious issue with a frivolous Mumsnet thread about a real non-issue denigrates those who really have suffered this form of clever, sophisticated, mind-bending abuse. A disagreement as to whether some fly-by-night stranger was or wasn't rude is just that: a simple disagreement.

And who cares, anyway? Rude strangers, rude drivers, rude passers-by are ten-a-penny. If you expend your energies being pissed at every one of these encounters you are going to live a very angry life.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Yes, but it was rude. There’s no law that says you must not be rude, she completely entitled to be. And she was. Unless you want to re-write the entire history of manners in order to make you right, she was rude.

So you would block a toddler and be rude to a little child? You are the problem sweetheart.

Not at all.

People have pressures in their lives. They're carrying all manner of things around with them that others have no clue over.

I wouldn't describe myself as a misanthrope. I'm the butt of a joke amongst those who know me for making friends everywhere I go when in leisure venues, travelling for leisure or even conferencing. But if I'm rushing around a supermarket, particularly if I'm aware there's an imminent miniature Vesuvius about to erupt in the shape of my kid, or if they've followed through and it's currently behind their knee and I'm rushing out before it reaches their shoes, or I'm on the way to a nerve-wracking medical appointment, or I want a quiet meal in a restaurant without someone else's kid undoing my shoelaces or jolting my elbows, or kicking my plane seat etc., then no. I do not want to interact with your precious children. They are making me stressed and it's giving me a headache.

There's a time and a place for positive social interaction, a time for solitude, and a time for getting to where you need to go as quickly and painlessly as possible. And part of decent manners, civility and making your own and others' day go by quickly and more pleasantly, is recognising what is and is not an appropriate time and place.

One person's idea of manners and positive interaction is not the same as another's. By the same token there is not one absolute morality that is independent of time or circumstance.

I acknowledge this. I'm aware people's view of the same thing will differ.

You are convinced that you are absolutely, unmitigatingly correct and that no nuance or differences in contributing circumstances can negate that view.

That says everything it needs to say about the difference between your position and my position.

The encounter is not important in any event. The other party has probably long forgotten it by now. We choose what we want to make into an issue that's worth getting het up about, and something that we quickly let go, because it isn't.

For me, the OP's encounter (and this particular exchange, interesting though it's been) fall strictly into the latter category.

Have had 3 toddlers, and a full time job so believe me im never just meandering about the place but i have common decency enough to accept the innocence of 1 toddler talking to another.

I agree. But it is the rudeness I take issue with.
I have no desire to chat to someone else's toddler. But I would never to so rude, if what we are being told is accurate.

It doesn’t really matter where it falls for you though, it’s rude! It just is. Like I say, it’s absolutely fine to be rude. I can’t reimagine the parameters of rude so that it falls outside the box of rudeness 😂 it just is! I mean I almost want to agree at the moment just out of politeness!

I often think that the kindest thing that you can do on this overcrowded island is to minimize your interactions with other people as much as possible
So avoid unnecessary eye contact, don't make unnecessary puerile small talk and avoid impinging on peoples personal space as much as possible

• toddler: 1 to 3 years
• child: 4 to 12 years

🤦🏻‍♀️

When I was younger, this would have looked like a really dickish move, ( if there was a genuine reason why the mother couldn't let her toddler interact, they would just say so). These days, so many people are so unfriendly, precious and unpleasant, lord knows what the other woman was thinking.