This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

[Skysky1]

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

I actually don't think they are. MN is not RL (thankfully).

Maybe her child was contagious but she didn’t want to say?

So again why do you think an adult needs to explain their life to you? Lmao miss nosey pants.

Maybe her child was on chemo or immunocompromised, and she didn’t want another child in close contact for obvious reasons. She shouldn’t have to explain, but maybe there as a very good reason.

I struggle to see any other explanation than she was helpfully stopping your child from escaping from you. You just said you were a couple of meters behind trying to catch up, with your pram.
I think I’d have done the same!

It’s really hard to picture as we weren’t there. There could definitely be merit to the idea that she thought he was getting away from you and she was trying to help. I don’t think you’d have needed to call out for her to get that impression.
Or - though this may just be because I have to be so vigilant with my twins who are a bit younger - she could have thought that there was a chance that her child would grab the toys from your child and not give them back without a fight and so was trying to prevent that?
Just thoughts and obviously I wasn’t there (and mostly only read op’s responses as this thread is v long)

You’re being over sensitive and it doesn’t matter.

Who cares? 🤷‍♀️ It’s nothing - move on.

She sounds mean. She didn't handle it well.

..

We've all had days where we've been absolutely up to our tits with life. Maybe she was just having one of those days and didn't need any further distractions or dramas. The amount of times my kids have kicked off over everything, all day, and I just want to get on and home before anything else happens. 😆 x

Gosh, so many miseries on this thread. I’m with you, OP. The other mum was anti-social and it’s a shame she was mean to your young child.

Christ almighty op, some of these responses are batshit.

I have never met a mumsnetter in real life thank fuck.

I smiled to myself reading the bit about your son showing the other child his toys. How sweet 😊

So children are only supposed to interact in "designated spaces". What a strange world we live in now.

I think it was rude.

Sorry whatever issues we have going on there's no need to be rude.
And it was rude to a child who just wanted to share his excitement and enthusiasm.
She could have said a couple of words or acknowledged your child.you are not out of order.
If someone done that to my child I would not be happy.you are not out of order at all.
Great social skills being taught to the lady's child and a grand show of teaching how to be polite.

DS would have snatched that toy and then bitten the other DC if they tried to get it back. There would have been screaming for hours.

Also, I would not have been in M&S with my two year old for shits and giggles. I would have been in there on a mission and then out like a shot.

and maybe that would have caused her child to have a massive tantrum because they wanted the toy when the other mum just wanted to get in and out of M&S with as little drama as possible.

There's also nothing wrong with teaching about boundaries and personal space. It's absolutely fine to have the boundary that you don't want to be pestered in a shop, not rude at all.

I think you need to just accept that there is a reason she reacted the way she did that you don't understand. No doubt a good reason that would make perfect sense if you did know.

Lol pestered!!it was a child trying to chat to another child.
Surely in life at some point children need to know just because another child has something doesn't mean they can or will too.
If it was even about about.
If its crossing boundaries as a child trying to initiate chat with another child the world has serious problems.

A lot of the responses on here make me very sad and I’m worried for the future of our society. For those of you that are saying, ‘it’s not all about you.’ I think that’s more true for the woman who was unpleasant … she clearly thought that whatever was going on in her life or just generally being unfriendly is more important than a lovely, sociable 3 year old. Everyone has their own shit going on but being kind and pleasant to others costs nothing - I feel we’ve sadly morphed into unsociable, rude and unkind people since covid. What sort of an example are we setting our children if we model this kind of negative interaction in front of them. No wonder the majority of children in primary school have no respect or manners and struggle to be kind to each other. These are the generation who will look after us when we’re old … we’ve created a monster and we’re f**d.

and at some point, children also need to know that sometimes people are busy and can't or don't want to stop and look at a new toy.

Goes both ways really.

Have you really never had to make a decision that looked strange to those who didn't understand, or that other people might have judged you for? Lucky you, if not, but I think we all have to eventually.

I'd take it as a lesson to my child that not everyone is approachable and explain to them (ok, maybe when older) that sometimes people have reasons for things we don't understand, so don't take it personally. I didn't usually have to discuss that till teens though.

Kids need to learn that sometimes a no isn't personal so they can be resilient when things happen.

Exactly. I mean, there was the time I had to bury my husband and I couldn't find an item of clothing I needed to bury him in. I went to a store to get the item (just a big chain store). That was so hard to do. I went to the self checkout so I didn't have to talk to anyone and left the store. The woman at the entry was going to do a bag check but I think she got a vibe and backed off (thank you woman, I was trying to keep it together and wouldn't have if I'd had to stop and interact). Then I went to my car to go to the airport to pick up incoming family.

Safe to say I didn't want to deal with anyone and no three year old would have been an exception. There have been many times since when I've gone about my business and kept my eyes away from others to avoid interaction. I've always got a smile for kids, they may learn later on that life is harsh, so might as well let them enjoy it now.

I'm sure people had opinions but I don't care. Teach your kids you don't know what is going on for people when they don't react as expected.

Perhaps hers has a long term illness and she is being overprotective about him catching something! I used to inwardly cringe when other children would come over to mine (CHD ) with there runny noses and grubby hands ( I had other children of my own soon after and realised how unrealistic keeping germs away was and the benefit of him having a strong immune system)

She was rude imo, but wasn't actually nasty/unacceptable – didn't say anything mean to your son, or physically push him.

If for some reason (eg my own son's potential jealousy regarding toys, my own immunocompromised son) I wanted to stop your son, I'm not sure how I'd do it either. A sweet talk with your son would probably be counterproductive. Maybe polite blocking off and "excuse me" might be the swiftest and most effective way?

I'd write this incident off due to any number of possible reasons on her end (both valid and invalid).

Imo dwelling on it is being a mumzilla about a fleeting interaction, as if one's child is some sort of sacred divine being whose physical sphere cannot be trespassed upon. To her, her child / the space around her child is just as precious as yours, even if she didn't express it in the most polite way.