My 5 year old injured a child

[Soworriedtoday]

Posting for traffic. Name changed. Feeling sick.

My 5 year has injured another child at school. Other child has required urgent hospital treatment and is requiring ongoing treatment.

I don't know who the other child is and I imagine that the last thing the parents want is anything to do with us.

I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do? My child "lashed out". We are a caring family, lots of opportunities, not exposed to anything like violence or substance, travel around the world.

What do I do? Will anything happen to my child?

My child had a broken arm from a shove following a friendly bit of pushing and shoving on the school field.

I told my child that the pushing and shoving was a stupid thing to do, he could have been the one to injure someone else. I told the school exactly what happened. I checked his friend had apologised to him for the broken arm.

The end. No hand-wringing required.

As @NeedTheSeaside asked, as it is really difficult to understand without more detail. How did he injure the other child - was it accidentally getting something in their eye or a deliberate action?

If i was the other child's parent I'd want a personal apology from you on your child's behalf.

If it happened at school, the school were in loco parentis, so it is not up to you to apologise etc.

I'm finding this hard to believe op. Several hospital visits but you have no idea exactly what your child did?

Your 5 year old was rough playing with an older child? HOw is that even possible in a school playground - that would be totally against rules in most playgrounds.

The usual rule would be an older child is to blame if it goes wrong

Why do you keep talking about how many opportunities your child has had? very odd.

OP, you are being evasive about whether your child even was playing violently - a chasing game or ball game could end up with a broken bone if somebody falls awkwardly.

We had an incident in the park after school recently where a couple of year 6 kids were harassing a group of year 1 kids on the basket swing (because they wanted to get on it) - and one of the year 6 kids stepped too close to the swing when it was moving, got accidentally kicked in the head by one of the year 1s, and got knocked out. That was down to the 11 year old, not the five year old.

This thread is vaguebooking.

Most schools keep the big children away from the little children. This sounds like the school wasn't safeguarding as they should.

My eldest son was in the reception class and I found out later ended up playing with a much older boy. The game was pushing each other over he didn't know how to say no to a much older boy. He wasn't being violent but was led on by the older boy. So your little lad was not necessarily being violent at all just out of his depth.

OP I hope you're okay.

You just do not have enough information to respond to this yet.

Hope the meeting goes well. Take it easy. You don't - and possibly can't - fix all this all at once.

The OP sounds like she's very stressed and in shock. Sometimes we don't make 100% sense when we're in shock.

'Several hospital visits' could cover any number of things.

If it's not usual for your 5 year old to play rough than I'd assume he was following suit of the older child. Don't feel too bad, things happen and kids get hurt. If the school don't feel the need to discipline your child then it obviously wasn't done on purpose. Remind your child about playing nicely, no hitting, play fighting etc and that's all you can do.

You need and are entitled to more information from the school. There will be incident reports including any witness evidence. Ask for copies, if necessary with names edited out.

Do you know where it happened at school? Your child might have told you?

Was a shove (for whatever reasons) onto a hard tarmac playground?

Or a shove and the other child banged their head on something in the classroom?

For your child to be with a much older one I can only assume it was outside.

You aren't reading the OP's posts properly. She has said she was told it was rough play with an older and bigger child. That's as much as she knows. She's not evading anything.

ohdamnitjanet · Today 09:55
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You don’t seem at all fussed about the injured child, or offering an apology.

You must be reading different OP’s than I am. She’s obviously concerned.

Really? You don't think it would depend on the circumstances?

Your accounts make no sense - he lashed out but it was playing and unintentional.

If it was play between the two of them then it’s an accident. Not great but these things happen.

You need to ascertain the facts before you become so hyperbolic.

I was about to ask you if you were "gentle parents".

You need to learn that children, once at school, engage in "non-gentle" play all the time. It is normal for them to do this, and do remember that small children have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions.

I think this is why you're so shocked. You weren't expecting anything like this.
But it's quite normal.

Of course, you need to remind your child that being violent is unacceptable. But being rough isn't the same thing.

@Soworriedtoday

Just wanted to send you loads of sympathy.

All you can do is listen to your child and the school and try to understand what has happened and whether there is anything you can do to help move on from here.

In all honesty, from what you've said this sounds like a freak accident and I imagine your DS will have had the best lesson possible on why even play can have devastating consequences. I wouldn't go any further than that with him.

I don't understand how everyone could be so cynical at this being a once off, accidental thing.
A five year old can easily get overexcited in a game and knock another child off a jungle gym or swing or whatever resulting in a broken bone or head injury.
Or be playing 'swords' with sticks and someone gets an eye injury if play gets a bit rough. These things can happen terrifyingy easily. It doesn't mean there's a mini psychopath on the loose.
I'd be more interested in exactly what happened and how the adults were supervising it

What on earth does travelling around the world have to do with anything??

@Soworriedtoday please could you answer the PPs who are asking what your little child is saying happened. I presume you have asked him why he was playing with the older child and gently asked him to tell you what happened between them?

If it was just "rough" play, and unintentional, and you don't know any other details, why are you blaming your child? Surely it is much more likely that your DC was retaliating to something the much older child did or said?

I think that you are being very unreasonable to have apparently not asked your child about any of this, or rung the teacher up to ask what any witnesses saw? I really, really really cannot understand why you have not asked your child, or the school, basic questions about this, and yet have come on here to tell us that your DC was guilty of seriously harming another child!

I think it is much more likely that your child was being bullied and maybe told to do something that he would have been very uncomfortable with. Please do not tell off/shout/ or punish your DC at least until you know all of the relevant details.
(Of course shouting at a child is Never a good idea unless they are about to run into a busy road or something similar).

How the hell does a 5 year old cause so much damage the other kid needs ongoing hospital visits?!