To think the high volume of male abusers means some people find it hard to see when a female is an abuser?

[BraykeDance]

Having experienced first hand fairly extreme abuse from a female, I feel a bit like even in 2023 some people struggle to believe women are capable of extreme psychological, emotional and even physical abuse.

I find often people want to victim blame by implying the man must have deserved it or driven her to it. Amber Heard being a great example of an abuser where I think if she were a man people would see much more clearly that she is an abuser.

I understand men (for reasons I don't understand) have a greater tendency to be abusers in the sense of power and control; but women do this too sometimes.

I found, as someone recovering from such am abuser, that many people minimised it and almost normalised behaviour that would certainly mean prison for a man.

Which made healing as a victim a lot harder. And also made it far easier for the abuser to continue.

AIBU to think we hold women to a different standard and sometimes reframe abusive behaviour or coercive control to fit with the idea of the female victim?

@allyjay

She is on TAPE admitting it.

I couldn't care if the Pope signed a letter.

A tape that was highly doctored and edited by his team

If you listened to the ENTIRE thing is quite different

There's no editing it! She admits hitting him (regularly). She admits slamming his head in a door. She admits getting physical because she "loses" control. She seemingly admits causing him to lose a finger. She openly on the tapes uses abusive language towards him, telling him he is "nothing". She admits her literally runs away to escape her violence and she says this means he's not a real man. 🙄 She defends her violence by calling him a "baby" and saying she's smaller than him and can't "overpower him" and he asks "Amber, why would you want to?

There's no way you can "edit" tapes to make someone say those things! And if she had bloody recordings of him saying similar She would have bloody released them! Rather than sharing ridiculous videos of him drunk.

You are in complete denial.

I'm not in denial. You've fallen for the pro Depp propaganda. Heard admitted to hitting him back after years of being physically and sexually assaulted and terrorised by Depp. She reacted to his abuse of her. She didn't cut his finger off, more lies and propaganda. Depp even said he did it himself. Someone up thread even linked to evidence of this and a doctor saying it couldn't have happened the way Depp's team said it did.

The unedited video and transcriptions of it exist, you can search for it. Pretty sure it will be on reddit somewhere. Of course you can edit tapes.

Anyway I don't believe you're in good faith here. First posy on aibu hmmmm

And yet AH's team didn't put forward the un edited tapes.
Surely that would have been an easy win for them.

I have literally based my opinion off her own words.

Regardless of what a random doctor said, she is on tape admitting these things.

The question of this thread asks if some people find it hard to accept females can also be abusers.

There's no greater proof of this than people who will literally ignore a recording of the abuser confessing!

Amber Heard had previously been arrested for assaulting a partner, whereas Johnny’s exes came out to unanimously support him. Was that PR too ?

Her ex said that that did NOT happen. That it was a misunderstanding and probable homophobia on the part of the police. She wasn't arrested she was stopped by police. Again the receipts are out there if you care to Google. I'm not replying about AH anymore, the receipts are out there.

that would be the lesbian police officer that arrested her?

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-amber-heard-girlfriend-statement-20160608-snap-htmlstory.html this is what her ex said actually happened. I'm.not replying anymore now

I'm pretty sure this poster is a regular anti AH poster who has name changed. If she is, I wouldn't bother because she's just going to go on about how you can "just tell" AH is abusive.
Bit disingenuous to start a thread about female abusers to bring this up (again) though.

You're right. I won't engage anymore

https://people.com/movies/amber-heards-arresting-officer-speaks-out-i-am-so-not-homophobic/

Ok so maybe the officer isn't, I don't know. But the point is she didn't assault her ex, because her ex even said she didn't!! Her own words!

God all these MRAs rallying round poor Johnny

And the name calling starts.

I'm pretty sure this poster is a regular anti AH poster who has name changed. If she is, I wouldn't bother because she's just going to go on about how you can "just tell" AH is abusive.
Bit disingenuous to start a thread about female abusers to bring this up (again) though

It's pretty horrendous that you'd post this on a thread where an abuse victim is discussing their abuse with other victims.

You (and others) have hijacked it completely to defend a self confessed domestic abuser, and when that wasn't sufficient disrespect to the victims, those doing this have stooped even lower.

I am an abuse victim who's left their hometown, job, social media and changed phone numbers to get away from an abuser. Of course I fucking name changed. How obtuse can you be.

And what of all the abuse victims of men, do you think anything you post rankles them?

You bought up Amber Heard in the op, brayke. And posted in AIBU. And stated (and continue to state) a loads of unrepresentative twaddle about Depp/Heard as fact. So you hijacked your own thread, which is impressive.

I'll leave you to it though. Can't really be bothered with the conspiracy theories.

Why would it? Because people have been abused by men they can't allow space for people who've been abused by women to talk?

If it bothers them, the title is pretty clear and no one is forcing them to read it are they

Whatever happens with the social work degree, make sure that the uni agrees to take the rest of her pass marks forward so she can try for another degree. She may need to start the third year of, say, sociology. But she shouldn't lose all the credits she's accumulated

@AdamRyan

I posted and included AH as a prime example of proven female domestic abusers that many people will defend in the face of a literal confession.

Case and point of why its so hard for victims of women to speak out or even be treated with bad respect.

The fact people have taken the time to come to an abuse thread and start throwing insults and accusations at victims, speaks volumes.

To some people, men are always guilty. No matter how overwhelming the evidence might be otherwise.

It is not proven brayke as well you know. The only one of the two of them that has been found by a court to be abusive is Depp.
You posted because you are obsessed with her, I don't know why. It's a bit weird.

Nobody said men are always guilty though? The fact of the matter is, the vast vast majority of DV is perpetrated by men. That is an irrefutable truth. Idk why that irks you so much.

One of my best mates was abused on and off for a good couple of years by the mother of his child. The calmest friendliest guy but she just always thought he was up to something. He wasn't. On many of the nights in question he'd sent me videos of him jamming with his band but apparently she never wanted to know and always accused him of covering up.

Because he was madly in love with her he put up with it. I remember a night in town when she headbutted him hard and then tried to knee him in the groin before chasing him up the street trying to hit him in the head with a high heel. People were laughing and a couple of lads even came over to ask if she was ok.