To not have anticipated this fall out... inheritance

130 replies

Livelifelaughter · 03/10/2023 18:15

We are sorting out my mum's estate. In her Will everything is split between my brother, me and my nephew; my nephew gets a fixed amount and the rest is split equally between me and my brother. My parents had very separate finances and my dad is financially fine, not flush, can afford cleaners, help etc. He is in his mid 90s. By my calculations my brother and I will get about 25k. My mum's share in the house passes to dad but obviously that isn't a liquid asset.My dad has always known the Will contents. He has said he thinks he should get 25 per cent, he hasn't said why. I am really surprised. Given his age it seems odd. I work full time, my brother is retired. It seems as though my dad just would like something but didn't suggest it to my mum because she would probably have asked "what for?"

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 04/10/2023 19:17

Blanketpolicy · 03/10/2023 19:53

I feel sorry for your poor dad that his wife chose to give away all their family money. That must of hurt if it was unexpected.

But I guess that is what happens when spouses have separate finances there is perhaps this risk that their family money is not left to support the surviving, and bereaved, spouses final years to be as good as they possibly can be before passing to the children.

It wouldn't have sat right with me at all inheriting anything other than perhaps something sentimental before both my parents had died.

They had separate finances so no, she's didn't give away FAMILY money, she gave away hers. As opposed to his which is covering the costs or cleaners and Ubers etc

NorthStarRising · 04/10/2023 19:29

We’ve always had separate finances, and a joint account for bills. We own a house jointly.
On my death, all my assets and my half of the house go to my children.
My father’s nursing home fees were £6,000 a month. For five years.

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/10/2023 19:34

Mooshamoo · 03/10/2023 23:23

My dad left his money to me and my brother. Other people weren't happy..they were jealous.

There were a lot of nasty remarks and a lot of talk about challenging the will. It was suggested strongly to me that I should give a third of the money to some one else. I had to really stand up and fight for myself. By the time I got the moment ages later, I felt so worn down from all the arguing.

Who was complaining about this?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 04/10/2023 19:37

Ponderingwindow · 03/10/2023 18:31

I find it odd when someone dies and their entire estate or at least the bulk of their estate doesn’t go to their spouse . The children will eventually inherit after the remaining spouse does, but the spouse should have access to the resources in the interim.

however, that isn’t how the mother wrote the will and the husband had the chance to object while she was alive. I would respect her wishes.

The bulk of her estate was her share in the house though. Which went to her spouse.

It's a tricky topic, but hopefully there's a way to talk to him calmly and rationally about it.

Papyrophile · 04/10/2023 20:56

DFIL's father remarried in his early 70s after DGM died at 65, so when he died at 92, his widow inherited everything (which wasn't a lot TBH) but DFIL got nothing. When she died, her children inherited the remainder of his estate too. DFIL was very hurt by it. The money involved was small, but the hurt was significant. Small treasured items that held memories were lost.

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