To not have anticipated this fall out... inheritance

[Livelifelaughter]

We are sorting out my mum's estate. In her Will everything is split between my brother, me and my nephew; my nephew gets a fixed amount and the rest is split equally between me and my brother. My parents had very separate finances and my dad is financially fine, not flush, can afford cleaners, help etc. He is in his mid 90s. By my calculations my brother and I will get about 25k. My mum's share in the house passes to dad but obviously that isn't a liquid asset.My dad has always known the Will contents. He has said he thinks he should get 25 per cent, he hasn't said why. I am really surprised. Given his age it seems odd. I work full time, my brother is retired. It seems as though my dad just would like something but didn't suggest it to my mum because she would probably have asked "what for?"

My dad will tell me when he's ready.. he's quite private

Yes so did my dad and I cheered him on and went on those cruises with him. 94 and it’s so different

It’s usual to leave everything to your spouse, especially in cases where there’s no divorce or second marriage in the equation. If a spouse is mid 90s the only concern re any probate etc. is if they will still be living when the probate is completed. If there’s inheritance left after care costs of surviving spouse that’s great but helping our elderly parents spend their savings on decent care is what most of us expect.

Firstly, it sounds like this is under the IHT threshold anyway.

Secondly, if everything is left to the spouse that means the surviving spouse (potentially) then passes on an estate that is double the size, which will increase the tax liability.

Surely it's often more efficient for the each spouse to bequeath their half the estate up to the IHT threshold to the children (assuming that's where it's eventually heading), which could save many ££££s.

Hmm it wouldn't sit right with me to inherit any money from one parent when the other is still alive unless the surviving parent explicitly wanted me to. Your surviving parent does not feel that way so I think 25% is the very least they should get.

He's bereaved and he probably can't go out and earn any more, I think having a little bit of fun money to indulge himself if he's still well enough to enjoy it is fair play OP xxx

I don't think he needs to give a reason.

It does seem unusual, I would expect all to go to a spouse and only then to the next generation when both have passed. Wasn't it 'family money'?

Your Mum made her Will as she did for a reason.

It's unfortunately that your father feels this way, but he's been left her half of their home, so it's not like he was not included in the Will.

I am very much of the opinion that Will's should be respected.

This is my take on it too.

Clearly OP’s mum had her reasons. Reading between the lines, it sounds like there were disagreements around money within the marriage, which is why they preferred to keep their finances separate?

Either way I see no reason not to honour the will. Maybe OP’s dad can explore ways of releasing equity in his home if he wants to access large sums of cash.

Presumption, of course, but your mum left a defined sum to her nephew, and the remainder of the estate to your DF, to be divided between the remaining legatees after the second death, ie, your DF's passing, and until then he benefits. Or have I missed something?

@Ponderingwindow

I don’t find it odd at all.

After my experience of watching what happens when a wife predeceases her husband… I am leaving all to DC, with the exception of a life insurance policy for DH.

You would like to think the remaining spouse would pass on everything to the DC, but potential new gfs/wives/friends/other people who swarm around widowers can have other ideas.

OP’s Mum seems sensible.

But he has been left something by her- her half of their home.

Why do you want to vary your mother's wishes?
Just follow her will- she knew best.

Your mother made it this way for a reason, probably something to do with why they had lifelong separate finances.
She was generous enough to leave him her half of the house.

Your father should have kept his opinion to himself, quite selfish to spout that especially knowing exactly what was in the will beforehand, has he form for being entitled?

My Mum left her entire estate to me apart from £20,000 left to my Dad. They were tenants in common so her half of the house came to me. This was because the money was mostly earned and invested by her whereas his money seemed to run through his fingers with little to show for it. He had also been a bit of a womaniser and she didn’t want him spending all her money on another woman with the possibility that everything she worked hard for bypassed me and was left to any new woman. I inherited as their only child and made sure my Dad was able to live comfortably for the rest of his days.

I've no idea why anyone with DC would leave anything other than a life interest in the property to their spouse; that way the DC don't get diddled out of their inheritance, should the surviving parent (usually a man 🙄) re-marry and re-write his Will, leaving all to a new spouse.

If the bequeather is of sound mind then wills should be followed to the letter. Her money, her choice.

Oh dear !

Your mother had her reasons. You need to respect the contents of the Will. She may have been concerned that he’d remarry and leave the money to the new wife. Maybe she thought he was reckless with money. Maybe she didn’t want it eaten up by care fees. Who knows! It doesn’t really matter. Her choice.

You say he’s “private” but if he wants you to hand over a five figure sum that you have inherited legitimately, he’ll need to tell you why. It would have to be a pretty good reason for you to ignore your mum’s wishes.

She may have been concerned that he’d remarry and leave the money to the new wife.

So many nonogenarians remarry! And she left him the most valuable asset. That doesn’t compute.

I would tell him he actually got more than all
of you , he got half the house. He may just need to hear that she didn’t leave him out and he was the main beneficiary.

The Op has said her DF is financially independent and doesn’t need this money. She also said he knew what was in her will when it was written. You clearly haven’t read the full thread!

from what I gather, the deceased is giving away her own money, not “the family money”. Her share of the house has been left to her husband, and he also has his own money. Why on earth wouldn’t a mother be able to leave her own money to her DC and DGC?

Could you and your brother offer to give him a chunk of money for getting a gift or something to remember your mum by, something particular? It doesn’t sound like he needs the money but he may feel sad she didn’t leave him something “loving” rather than practical??

I can understand what your mum did. My MIL left a sum to each of her sons on her death, and the house to their dad. In a previous generation the father remarried and all the inheritance went to the family of the new wife, she was quite bitter about that. Not so much about money but special items and art owned by the family that disappeared.

And having myself had a parent who was well at 90 but then succumbed sadly to dementia. They spent over 5 years in care, for the latter 3 years not knowing anyone or even being able to feed themselves, I would be grateful you get some inheritance now. We don’t know what is in the future and his house could be used for care costs if required.

^ This