To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

Amen to that!!!

I agree OP. Teaching about different positions is ridiculous.
So glad I wasn’t brought up with all the stuff kids have to cope with these days.

(None of what I have said means other women should not try and enjoy anal, but it needs to be normal not to try it and to discuss the risks of it)

How should the lesson be presented, what is the narrative that you think should be taught? Eg how to do it, best positions for it, how to stimulate and amount of lube required or just that some people do this but it is dangerous and causes injury? That what kids may have seen in porn is not real life etc.

How this is presented is v important imo although it does need to be taught we need to be sure that teachers are driving the right narrative.

There is absolutely no evidence at all that this is true, for either men or women. A study conducted a few years ago showed that there is a very very small increased risk or prolapse or/and incontinence in those who engage in regular anal sex. (About a 2.5% increased risk, and the risk was slightly higher in men than women.)

Being old-fashioned I would want the girls to be told they don't have to do anal, that plenty of people have great sex lives and have no desire to have anal sex. If that counts as teaching, then I am all in favour of them being taught about anal.

I would assume that would be a big part of the discussion tbh.

Did you see my post about how minimal sex ed in my high school just meant there were many teen pregnancies.

Wtf 🤣 So because some kids are gay, all kids should learn all about anal sex, when they are under the age of consent? My DD has shown that she is not ready for these conversations and actively protects herself from being shown these things. There is no choice in high school lessons though is there? My kids would be more than comfortable coming out to me. We actually have conversations as a family. We have age appropriate conversations about sex and biology. My kids know that they can ask me anything and do. We also safeguard our children against porn too, which is clearly not happening in other families. So because some parents fail to safeguard their children, all kids have to be exposed too soon? Nah.

Like, thinking out loud here, but if they don't even know it's a thing, they might get caught unawares and not realise it's not 'neccessary'. It really should be talked about, unedifying and all as it is.

It as so funny that often people/parents are adamant that kids shouldn’t learn about anal sex or sex positions.

the only other way they’re going to learn is from there peers or porn both of which are uninformed and not real life.

Young people need to be able to make informed choices and feel empowered in sexual situations this comes from understanding in a normal way rather than some halfway conversation with their parents where everyone is speaking around the subject.

of course sex education is embarrassing, so what. Kids are exposed to sex younger and younger, they have red pill content in kids cartoons on YouTube, AT and incel rhetoric on TT. So much unfettered access to the internet without basic understanding.

they need to be taught so they can discern the dangers in interpersonal relationships rather than floundering and subject to coercion

@PushedOut99

Not true - look at the warnings issued by Tabitha Gana and Lesley Hunt last year.

Even for males, there is a link.

It is not very well studied or understood, which is not the same as not being dangerous.

medicalxpress.com/news/2016-02-anal-sex-linked-incontinence-males.html

I'm sorry but I don't agree with sex education being taught at schools. I think the curriculum they have in place are awful. I mean teaching them certain things is ok but not everything.

My now 15 year old got taught about the birds and the bees when she was in year 5 and I think its disgusting. I actually made a big complaint about it and so did other parents.

I would rather teach my children about sex myself.

For those parents concerned that their own children aren’t ready for these discussions or would be uncomfortable having them in class - it’s absolutely fine for you to remove them from those lessons, and cover sex education yourself. It’s your right as a parent and you know your child best.

It is not an argument for saying schools shouldn’t provide comprehensive sex education. They should. The alternative is way too many children learning about sex from harmful sources and then endangering themselves and others.

I would also, if it were me, emphasise to teenagers that the male and female body possess different pleasure sensors (eg male prostate) that not even science totally understands and even amongst people of the same sex their anatomy is different. Therefore, if something does not work for you, it is not because you are weird or unusual or because you are not good at sex, it is just a fact that you need to change how it is done or do something else.

"The birds and the bees"?

Using such a twee phrase on an adult forum doesn't give me hope that you would be able to deliver good, comprehensive sex education to your child yourself, tbh.

I agree with this. Yes some kids are having sex already but Some kids haven’t even had their first kiss by that age and it is still illegal for them to be having sex for 2 more years if they’re 14.

Going into positions would be too much for many kids, but yes if the anal discussion is happening they need to include the risks.

Really great point! And also that just because it works for you, it doesn't neccessarily follow someone else will enjoy it.

A really good point.

We all have different "kinks" and sexual desires. And that's ok

Firstly it doesn't matter how I phrase things. I know how to teach my child things that are important so please don't try and judge me for using the term birds and the bees. Thanks

Some posters seem to be acting like the teacher went

"Today we are learning about sex positions. Johnny. Jane. Come up and show us how we do it doggy style"

Rather than what was more likely

"There are lots of different ways to have sex. These don't all just involved the woman lying there whilst a man thrusts into her. You might have heard of some different positions. One of these is anal..."

Or even that a discussion was happening and some of the kids, as teens do with lots of questions, started asking (or trying to be funny by asking) about anal etc so the teacher decided this was a relevant thing to talk about

I wouldn’t be very happy at all if the content implied anal sex was just another position so to speak. I’ve taught PSHE and I really emphasise the physical dangers of anal sex.

I must have gone to a very progressive secondary because I remember us learning about different positions including anal sex in our sex education lessons back in 1990 (ages 14/15).
There was a LOT about safe sex because this was still the era of higher rates of HIV transmission.
We learned about the many sexually transmitted infections, different contraceptives available. We learned about consent. Had discussion about issues such as abortion.
Yes some of the lesson were "cringe". Yes there was some silly joking (often caused by slight embarrassment)
Those lessons were probably some of the most interesting I had.

@ButWhatAboutTheBees

But anal isn’t just a sex position. Its a completely different way of having sex and young people need to be informed that it’s only been normalised due to the excessive use of porn.

I have a distinct memory of our teacher explaining that HIV was easier to catch from anal because you’re more likely to have tears.

Partly a distinct memory because of an extremely homophobic comment made by one of the boys at that point that had him suspended, but also it was a revelation to me that STDs were different risk factors depending on what you did