To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings I remember us doing an activity where everyone was given a sticker of a specific colour and you had to go around the class giving stickers of your colour to as many people as you wanted (or a little as you wanted). At the end the amount of colours a person had - or the type of colour represented whether or not you had "caught" HIV/other STIs
So some colour stickers represented having safe sex, some represented not, some stickers meant you were already infected etc.
It taught that you could still catch a STI even you only had sex with one person but your sticker colour meant you didn't use a condom - yet also show you could have sex with lots of people but stay "safe" because you always used protection.
We weren't told the point of the activity at first but most of us realised halfway through what it was representing.
The fact I remember this 32 ish years later shows how affective decent sex education can be.

Why should gay kids have to be taught about straight sex when they’re under the age of consent? So because some parents of straight children fail to safeguard their children, all kids have to be exposed too soon to straight sex?

It’s very effective if it’s stuck that long!

A teacher in my DD1’s school did something similar with T-shirts over their uniform and paint on their hands to show how often they touched other people without thinking when moving around a room as part of a consent discussion.

She also went on and tied it into condom use by pointing out the analogy also worked for STIs on the basis that you don’t know who could have one and even if you are currently exclusive people’s previous encounters could still impact you.

I think it was visually very effective so it made it stick

I think my main concern is that the people designing and delivering this content are assumed to have some expertise in giving appropriate information - but there's no reason to think that this is always the case. I'm also not sure that people are very clear on what they want the outcomes to be - prevent teenage pregnancy and STIs, make kids of all sexualities feel included, deliver basic biological information, prevent avoidable injury, learn about consent, deliver information on how to enjoy sex? All of the above? Some subset? That's why it's so difficult to get right. Parents don't agree. Teachers aren't necessarily experts. Companies creating these materials can have objectionable aims. Kids are at different life stages and levels of exposure. So this is always controversial.

That's the point though. Why should any children who aren't ready, be taught about anal, oral, different postions, porn and chocking?

So you don’t want children to be taught how to keep themselves safe? Children who receive good quality sex education from a young age are much harder to sexually abuse, so what you’re actually advocating for is a wider pool of victims for abusers.

If you think 14 year olds arent seeing all this on pornhub you are very naive

The education is desperately needed unfortunately

Mine definitely isn't. I'm not some old, naive mother, clutching her pearls. But, I know my kids aren't watching bloody pornhub! Surely, even vaguely competent parents can safeguard their kids from watching porn? Lots of us are still making the effort to give our children an actual childhood.

As an aside, I did think kids were having sex later in the main? My eldest is 17 and most of her friends have never had a girl or boyfriend. Up until now the girls who are actively dating are more likely to be in a same-sex relationship (obviously all the sex ed is relevant but in those specific relationships the preg issue not there).

When I was a teenager discos were a thing and where some kids hooked up but round my way the kids gather at parties - everyone could buy a ticket to the discos of old but you (generally) need an invite to a party.

It's a bizarre world we are living in, when parents are scared to openly admit, that they don't think underage children should be taught about 'safe' anal sex.

I know mine aren’t watching Pornhub but am sure it’s been shoved under their noses often enough

Even if your kid isn't, their peers will be. You're not doing them any favors by trying to keep them ignorant. At 14 I promise they will be seeing/hearing this stuff one way or another.

Just because you need an invite to attend a party doesn't mean kids won't have sex at those parties. Yes, even naice middle class kids.

I’ve never heard children being described of as “harder to abuse” before this thread on this day.

How about “more vulnerable to abuse”, I’m guessing you understand that concept. So by default there are ways to support children to be less vulnerable to abuse, including good quality, comprehensive sex education.

I don’t see anyone advocating teaching young people that anal sex or questionable sexual practices like choking are mainstream and ok, quite the opposite. The reality is pretending young people won’t be exposed to, coerced or presented with such activities does no one any favours.

As to the quality of sex education, that’s for parents to involve themselves in and discuss with the school, if I’m unhappy with what’s being taught I can advocate for my child and ultimately remove her if need be.

I've got a 14 year DD and their PSHE is all around this topic right now. At her school it was definitely educational and not wahey, go off and have anal and try all these positions. Genuinely struggle to believe any secondary teacher would go out of their way to erm, sexualise this!

Positions did come up, but around the broader topic of consent and how yes to one thing, doesn't mean yes to another.

I know this because my DD came home and discussed it all with me. I've always used factual language and talked age appropriately about sex and its lead to her not being embarrassed about discussing sex with me. Which now she has her first boyfriend, is more relevant than ever.

If anyone thinks a 14 year doesn't hear sex talk and know what anal is, then sadly you're very wrong

Schools have to work so hard to bust the myths our children (especially boys) are learning from porn

Unless you supervise your child at every moment there is no way you can know this. The majority of teens can and have accessed porn, and they show their friends. Does your teenage child not have friends who own smartphones? Really?

The naivety around porn access on this thread is both worrying and eye opening. Even if your child isn't accessing porn themselves, they are seeing it almost daily on their friends devices. It's an every day thing, hate that fact, but doesn't mean it's not happening.

And I know it's not just my DD's school as have friend with teenagers at other schools and a sister who works in a different secondary school

I think quite a lot of shagging goes on a parties