To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

So the classroom situation is actually wrecking those kids boundaries because they can’t withdraw their consent from listening to it being taught.

You could say that about anything taught in school though. I didn’t consent to be taught about the Holocaust, or the Jacobite Rebellion, or World War I, but I was taught nonetheless and at an age where they were very difficult topics to cover. I didn’t consent to the ritual humiliation that was PE, or to having my piss poor art work displayed in the corridors.

We teach because children need the knowledge - I have a better understanding of current events because of my history knowledge, I understand the dangers of extremism because of my knowledge of the Holocaust and other genocides etc etc. I’d rather not have known how inhuman people can be aged 12 but the learning stayed with me.

The world has turned a few times since I was at school. Of course I’d rather my daughter not have to deal with these issues but given the world she lives in I’d rather her be informed before the fact. I’m happy to have those conversations with her - we have a very open relationship - not all kids will have that with their parents. I’ll be continuing to check the sex ed curriculum closely but depending on how it’s taught I’m ok with it covering various sexual practices, consent and safety.

When it comes to sex yes.

Not when it comes to a school lesson.

Not in any school I’ve worked in, nor in any school my 4 children old enough to have done sex Ed has been.

Teaching children that “actually, this is what you have to do to do it safely” to show how wrong the image of porn anal is is not giving them “an option to explore”. It’s re-educating them on something they’ve already explored in porn or been told about by their peers (for the vast majority - none of them have not heard of anal by 14).

Teach them about consent. Teach them what grooming looks like. Then there is no need to give them a 'How to guide on anal and chocking!' The trouble is, that by forcing them to learn about anal, chocking and sex positions, before they are ready, is ignoring the fact that they haven't given consent and is sexualising them before they are ready i.e grooming! It's literally teaching them 'It doesn't matter if this makes you feel uncomfortable, other people like it, so you have listen too' Is that not the opposite of a healthy discussion around consent??
And No, I don't think teachers themselves are grooming them, I feel sorry for them. Lots have spoken out against this new form of sex ed.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2009/feb/26/teenage-pregnancy-rise

That article is over 14 years old...

That's 14 years old.

The stats I referred to are from 2021.

This

I think this is a real concern if not done properly

Meant to quote this link
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/conceptionandfertilityrates/bulletins/conceptionstatistics/2021

I told my DC she could come home and we’d discuss it. Her discomfort was a completely different type than she has ever displayed to me before and it was largely about the content vs the classroom dynamic.

I think it’s really important that teens have access to proper factual information however if it is too much for your dc right now (and it sounds like you are open at home anyway) then I would allow her to skip the lesson. She is allowed to have boundaries and you can give her the power to enforce them.

I can’t be bothered arguing with people who thing sex is just the same as everything else. It’s just ‘information’.

I can’t be bothered arguing with someone who thinks teaching children about sex is the same as having sex with them.

It is information, yes about deeply personal, intimate aspects of life but if anything that makes it harder to get factual, dispassionate, unbiased information - which is what the school system should be providing.

So you'd rather it was brushed under the carpet, assuming that boys aren't seeing it in porn and expect girls to do it because it's 'normal'. Plus the 'virginity argument'.

Sex ed isn't just PIV, here's how pregnancy works etc....

It's about teaching consent, what's safe, ALL forms of contraception (this are is lacking too).

Stop burying your head in the sand, it's about teaching all subjects and appropriately.

Sex education classes have not traditionally been single sex.

The facts about sex are not private. They are very public knowledge. Your own sex life is private.

See next message. 2021 the pregnancies actually rised. See link..
Sorry didn't mean to crush your bubble

Given that you apparently care little enough about the wellbeing of LGBT kids not to care if they are deprived of relevant sex education, I very much doubt your kids would feel comfortable telling you if they were LGBT.

I do think they should segregate children by gender for sex education classes. It’s a sensitive topic and embarrassing. It is possible for schools to teach the boys, girls, non-binaries, agenders and genderfluid children separately.

Sex education materials are not pornographic.

Pornography is any material designed to elicit sexual arousal.

This thread is getting silly. It does not resemble a discussion between concerned parents.

Because people aren’t clutching their pearls?

I'd get in touch with school and find out what exactly is being taught here and discuss option for your DD to avoid or find a better way to approach which is inclusive of her.

It's really hard to know if this is doggy material normalising some extreme behaviors (which does appear to be out there ) or if it's talking about risks and is factually based and/or is very relevant to other pupils.

For me the problem is that 9/10 it will be one party suggesting this and likely after seeing it in porn. They are unlikely to end up with potential injuries or in a lot of pain after unlike their partner.

Unless discussion on anal ones with an emphasis on the risks then it's irresponsible actually.

As mum to a daughter the thought of this being her first sexual experience is very worrying as I'll put money on it that, no actually, it won't be enjoyable for her and to suggest otherwise is ridiculous