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Original poster

To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

462 replies

fourelementary · 03/10/2023 07:42

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

OP posts:
theresamooseloose · 03/10/2023 18:15

…if kids are having sex at that age then… well… words fail me. What is going on at home that they are even able to be in that situation in the first place?!

Chickenkeev · 03/10/2023 18:17

theresamooseloose · 03/10/2023 18:15

…if kids are having sex at that age then… well… words fail me. What is going on at home that they are even able to be in that situation in the first place?!

Sorry but lol!

justteanbiscuits · 03/10/2023 18:19

theresamooseloose · 03/10/2023 18:15

…if kids are having sex at that age then… well… words fail me. What is going on at home that they are even able to be in that situation in the first place?!

It's hardly a new thing. Was happening when I was at school. A great Aunt of mine was pregnant by a GI at 15. Teens are sneaky. We need to realistic about it rather than faux shocked.

MummyTo4BoysXXXX · 03/10/2023 18:20

Well 15 years ago when I was your daughters age & in secondary school we certainly didn't get taught "different sex positions" nevermind to include Anal aswell nowadays.. Mortifying!

margotrose · 03/10/2023 18:20

theresamooseloose · 03/10/2023 18:15

…if kids are having sex at that age then… well… words fail me. What is going on at home that they are even able to be in that situation in the first place?!

😂

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/10/2023 18:22

…if kids are having sex at that age then… well… words fail me. What is going on at home that they are even able to be in that situation in the first place?!

Given the number of “should I let my 13 year old entertain her boyfriend in her bedroom” type threads, “home”’is facilitating it.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 18:51

Which is why so many girls are becoming porn stars. They are fed a steady diet of "all sex is good, have lots of sex, sex makes you valuable, there should be no responsibilities or rules around sex, and if you get pregnant just have abortions as birth control."

Noone is saying sex makes you valuable, there's no responsibility or rules or that all sex is good.

The point is we are saying the OPPOSITE

Some sex is bad, there are rules and you need to know what's going on to understand why or how it's bad and what the rules are

Sex making you valuable is a male ideal, "Ye babe if you have sex people will want you. Not having sex makes you unattractive"

Again, good education means they don't believe this

And, yes, some women have used Morning After Pill and abortions as a form of birth control but I'd say this was a minority and there's a deeper understanding that abortions can cause psychological issues coming out.

Yassification100 · 03/10/2023 18:54

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 17:22

There is no "appropriate" class for a teacher or any non-parent adult to teach children to have anal sex.

But you know, I'm working from the assumption that these children have parents who care about them. Many, many children do not, and so many parents expect the schools to raise their children for them. When parents abdicate their role in the child's life, this kind of thing will happen to them.

Which is why so many girls are becoming porn stars. They are fed a steady diet of "all sex is good, have lots of sex, sex makes you valuable, there should be no responsibilities or rules around sex, and if you get pregnant just have abortions as birth control." These are the same values that told me, when I was young, that promiscuity was "empowering." When I was left feeling empty and used, I was told that was "internalized misogyny" and not that I somehow felt I should be valued and respected.

I really, really fear for and am sad for young girls today. Being nothing but a "bonus hole" is going to take a real toll on them. And I place the blame where it belongs: on lazy, neglectful parents.

Edited
Show quote history

Do you have any sources at all for this claim that sex education is leading more women to become porn stars, or are you simply assuming that it’s the case?

If you do some research (instead of relying on some vague notion that because you’ve had A Thought it must be right) you’ll see that the majority of women who are sex workers by choice (i.e. not women and girls who have been trafficked or enslaved) are sex workers because it is the best option for them having regard to their personal circumstances. In other words, the majority of them do it out of economic necessity, due to not having other options available, they need the freedom to work flexibly because of other commitments, it pays better than other jobs available etc.

It is not the case that women with financial security and plenty of job opportunities are thinking ‘my teacher taught me anal sex is really empowering and fun so instead of becoming a civil engineer I’m going to take up porn!’.

If you want to work on reducing the number of sex workers, your best bet isn’t to decide sex education is wrong. It’s to solve the (usually economic) hardships that lead women into sex work in the first place. A universal basic income would go a long way for a start. Of course some women would still choose sex work, but those doing it out of financial necessity would have the option to stop.

(Women who are forced to sell sex because they have been trafficked, enslaved, abused, coerced etc are not choosing sex work, and my comments don’t apply to them).

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 18:59

So we should pay people to not work and that will make them make better life choices. Because that has ALWAYS worked in the past.

Let me guess: REAL socialism hasn't been tried? Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea, China, Russia, those were all misfires, but THIS time, no THIS time, it's totally gonna work!

"Sex education" is "here is how your body works, and this is how pregnancy works." It is not "here is how to have anal sex and give a blow job."

I'm done. If you want to encourage little girls to believe sex work is their best option unless they're given handouts, telling them they aren't strong, smart or capable enough to make it without a Daddy taking care of them, you go right ahead. That has worked out GREAT for women. Nothing in the world is safer than total dependence, right?

Ohthatsabitshit · 03/10/2023 19:01

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/10/2023 16:19

@Ohthatsabitshit Learning in a safe school environment, where you aren’t in the situation and having to negotiate with the person you’re with, from a trusted adult, where you can ask questions (even in your own mind if not out loud), where consent is front and centre. Being given factual information, being able to identify strategies to say “no”, being able to decide ahead of time that something isn’t for you - I’m struggling to see why that’s a bad thing.

And given the way sex is portrayed in mainstream media, much less in the porn industry, and the number of girls (and grown women) who accept choking as part and parcel of sex tells us that such practices are hardly considered kink nowadays.

its a bad thing if you give neither parents nor children the opportunity to say “NO” to being “educated” in this way.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 19:06

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 18:59

So we should pay people to not work and that will make them make better life choices. Because that has ALWAYS worked in the past.

Let me guess: REAL socialism hasn't been tried? Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea, China, Russia, those were all misfires, but THIS time, no THIS time, it's totally gonna work!

"Sex education" is "here is how your body works, and this is how pregnancy works." It is not "here is how to have anal sex and give a blow job."

I'm done. If you want to encourage little girls to believe sex work is their best option unless they're given handouts, telling them they aren't strong, smart or capable enough to make it without a Daddy taking care of them, you go right ahead. That has worked out GREAT for women. Nothing in the world is safer than total dependence, right?

Edited

That... is quite a stretch

And also. 14 is not a little girl

KnitWittedNan · 03/10/2023 19:08

Teaching about anal is ok imo

Teaching kids about different sexual positions is bloody weird though.

"So doggy is the best of you want to stimulate..." eugh.

Everyone figures it out. That's not something that needs to be taught

jesuisterriblementmarrier · 03/10/2023 19:08

Parental consent should be sought before these lessons are taught. They are still minors at 14 I don't blame your daughter , I would be mortified too. It is like schools are in a rush to teach these things which fuels their curiosity even more.

Yassification100 · 03/10/2023 19:09

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 18:59

So we should pay people to not work and that will make them make better life choices. Because that has ALWAYS worked in the past.

Let me guess: REAL socialism hasn't been tried? Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea, China, Russia, those were all misfires, but THIS time, no THIS time, it's totally gonna work!

"Sex education" is "here is how your body works, and this is how pregnancy works." It is not "here is how to have anal sex and give a blow job."

I'm done. If you want to encourage little girls to believe sex work is their best option unless they're given handouts, telling them they aren't strong, smart or capable enough to make it without a Daddy taking care of them, you go right ahead. That has worked out GREAT for women. Nothing in the world is safer than total dependence, right?

Edited

This is so, so far from what I said though, isn’t it?

KnitWittedNan · 03/10/2023 19:10

It depends goes the anal bit is taught I suppose. Do we trust the syllabus to cover the risks of doing it wrongly etc?

SingingNettles · 03/10/2023 19:10

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 18:59

So we should pay people to not work and that will make them make better life choices. Because that has ALWAYS worked in the past.

Let me guess: REAL socialism hasn't been tried? Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea, China, Russia, those were all misfires, but THIS time, no THIS time, it's totally gonna work!

"Sex education" is "here is how your body works, and this is how pregnancy works." It is not "here is how to have anal sex and give a blow job."

I'm done. If you want to encourage little girls to believe sex work is their best option unless they're given handouts, telling them they aren't strong, smart or capable enough to make it without a Daddy taking care of them, you go right ahead. That has worked out GREAT for women. Nothing in the world is safer than total dependence, right?

Edited

I imagine there are actual men made out of straw that are embarrassed to be associated with the above.

Yassification100 · 03/10/2023 19:13

SingingNettles · 03/10/2023 19:10

I imagine there are actual men made out of straw that are embarrassed to be associated with the above.

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😂

Flickersy · 03/10/2023 19:15

Yassification100 · 03/10/2023 19:09

This is so, so far from what I said though, isn’t it?

Show quote history

These are the same kinds of people who conflated Michaelangelo's David with pornography. They also demanded to be consulted before their children were subjected to this horror:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/florida-principal-forced-to-resign-after-parent-complains-michelangelos-david-is-pornographic-12842155

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 19:18

SingingNettles · 03/10/2023 19:10

I imagine there are actual men made out of straw that are embarrassed to be associated with the above.

Show quote history

Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz, as a man of straw, would question if he's the one who needs the brain

I've seen some stretches before but that was something else

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 19:33

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 19:06

That... is quite a stretch

And also. 14 is not a little girl

Show quote history

So you believe 14 year old girls should be available to men for sex. You and I have VERY different values.

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 19:35

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 19:18

Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz, as a man of straw, would question if he's the one who needs the brain

I've seen some stretches before but that was something else

Show quote history

This message is heartily approved by the Tate brothers.

Yassification100 · 03/10/2023 19:36

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 19:33

So you believe 14 year old girls should be available to men for sex. You and I have VERY different values.

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You are quite, quite mad.

Ohthatsabitshit · 03/10/2023 19:37

14 is still quite a little girl in my home. I feel so sorry for our children. They must see sex and relationships as utterly complicated and terrifying.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 19:37

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 19:33

So you believe 14 year old girls should be available to men for sex. You and I have VERY different values.

Show quote history

Bloody hell are you Elstagirl?

You make some wild stretches

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 03/10/2023 19:38

HoneyBadgerMom · 03/10/2023 19:35

This message is heartily approved by the Tate brothers.

Show quote history

Are you OK?