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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

As a man, should I post on MN

317 replies

Dadfromthesea · 02/10/2023 10:03

I love the MN forums. More often than not I just read them, as they’re useful from a parenting point of view and often very funny to boot. I occasionally comment. I’ve started one thread ever, before this one.

Saw a thread this morning about a perceived rise in ‘women hating’ men posting on here. I’m definitely not one of those, and would be mortified to come across as one. But before long the thread started talking about men in general, and whether or not they should be posting at all on a forum called Mumsnet that’s predominantly aimed at women.

I get the need for women-only spaces, and would hate to intrude on one unintentionally.

So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
RantyAnty · 03/10/2023 02:52

Would you actually leave if you were told you're not welcome?

Go ahead and stay for the attention and a$$ pats.

PastelLilac · 03/10/2023 03:10

I love your other thread! Women who aren't mums or planning to be mums post on Mumsnet, so dads are welcome.

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 03:15

@stayathomer "And the ‘it’s a very male thing to do’ is why the op is afraid to post on mn I’d assume"

Good to see he appears to have overcome his fear....

bemorebernard · 03/10/2023 03:34

I do t look at anyone's user name . Maybe I'm weird .

ConnieTucker · 03/10/2023 03:41

stayathomer · 02/10/2023 21:25

Personally I come on mumsnet for a community of women. There are plenty of other sites out there that have a broader focus (e.g. reddit).

I wouldn't dream of joining a site for dads and start sharing my opinions 'as a mum'. It's a very male thing to do to be honest.

There are childfree people on mn, then you’re saying they shouldn’t post either because it’s ‘Mumsnet’? And the ‘it’s a very male thing to do’ is why the op is afraid to post on mn I’d assume

She means the ‘as a man’ announcement. Why do those men think that makes their opinion more valuable to women?

DeeCeeCherry · 03/10/2023 06:02

It's a bit of a Me Me Me post isn't it?

The fangirling here is funny tho, I can't work out if the fawners are being serious or not.

There's a song called 'Please Don't Go' playing in my head

Noicant · 03/10/2023 06:14

I don’t see the problem, my DH reads mumsnet for help with our DC, don’t see why you shouldn’t.

SoundingGood · 03/10/2023 06:17

🙄

I genuinely can not imagine any decent man I know, wanting to plonk themselves in the middle of discussions on mumsnet.

I suppose there may be rare exceptions but then they definitely wouldn't be posting a thread like this, checking that they're welcome here.

It's very off. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Sux2buthen · 03/10/2023 06:22

It's an internet chat forum open to all.
There isn't anyone here (not including mnhq obvs) that can tell someone they should or shouldn't post.

eastiseastwestiswest · 03/10/2023 06:26

Your other thread is brilliant. If you don't stay on mumsnet please install yourself as a Times columnist so that I can read your writing every week.

stayathomer · 03/10/2023 06:28

She means the ‘as a man’ announcement. Why do those men think that makes their opinion more valuable to women?
Someone is just drawing attention to the fact that they’re not the same as the majority of women in the same way I might say as an Irish person because I won’t have the same experiences as someone from the uk (and I used to be afraid to post and I once saw a thread of an Irish person asking was it okay to be on mn, and have seen threads from childfree people asking the same) or I’ve said ‘as a 43 year old’ in a thread that looks more catered to twenty year olds. And I’ve been relieved by people’s replies because I love mn but also had people put me in my place and say I must feel like I’m more important or think I know more when I was just commenting which makes you feel horrible

5128gap · 03/10/2023 06:55

I'm not sure the OP really wants to engage women in a discussion on whether we want men on MN. The OP is thinking of resurrecting a book he is writing and i imagine used his other thread to test the market. There is very little engagement from him with the wider points here, only those pertaining to himself and his previous thread. Which is fine in that it's understandable to want to know how your work would be recieved. But it's a bit off not to be upfront about it, rather than what smacks of manipulating women for praise and reviews.

Beefcurtains79 · 03/10/2023 06:58

Tinkerbyebye · 02/10/2023 18:51

And 71% say they have no problem

lets guess who are the more intolerant hey?

its 2023, it’s a parenting forum in the main, although the childless also post ( or are you saying they shouldn’t) as there is a vast wealth of information on many subjects that affect those with and without children

men are parents, some are even single parents, and are just as likely to need support, ask questions as women

Show quote history

Isn’t that why dadsnet was created?

Beefcurtains79 · 03/10/2023 07:02

stayathomer · 02/10/2023 21:25

Personally I come on mumsnet for a community of women. There are plenty of other sites out there that have a broader focus (e.g. reddit).

I wouldn't dream of joining a site for dads and start sharing my opinions 'as a mum'. It's a very male thing to do to be honest.

There are childfree people on mn, then you’re saying they shouldn’t post either because it’s ‘Mumsnet’? And the ‘it’s a very male thing to do’ is why the op is afraid to post on mn I’d assume

How is the OP afraid to post on Mumsnet?
He has started 2 threads in as many days!

iloveeverykindofcat · 03/10/2023 07:20

I mean you can post where you want, but you have to be prepared for the fact not everyone will be receptive to a male voice in a female space.

HernesEgg · 03/10/2023 08:09

iloveeverykindofcat · 03/10/2023 07:20

I mean you can post where you want, but you have to be prepared for the fact not everyone will be receptive to a male voice in a female space.

This. Especially as it’s happening a lot in terms of male encroachment into women’s spaces in RL.

KidneyWarrior · 03/10/2023 08:21

I really welcome a man's viewpoint, so I'm glad you're here 🙂

SoundingGood · 03/10/2023 08:34

How is the OP afraid to post on Mumsnet?
He has started 2 threads in as many days!

Exactly. He's not scared to post.

He posting away quite happily but that's not enough for this man. He needs to know he's very wanted here which is why he's posted this. He needs to stand out, he needs to be noticed and feel important. Unlike the women here that just get on with posting.

I see certain women are like a moth to a flame.

🙄

FluffyCatBonzo · 03/10/2023 08:38

I noticed a guy posting all over the place yesterday and I did think why.. there seems to have been a rash of them lately.

MNetcurtains · 03/10/2023 08:42

I'd say you have more right to be here than I. At least you're a parent😬

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 08:43

@KidneyWarrior
"I really welcome a man's viewpoint, so I'm glad you're here"

Can I ask-genuine question, as they say-why?

PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 03/10/2023 08:50

KidneyWarrior · 03/10/2023 08:21

I really welcome a man's viewpoint, so I'm glad you're here 🙂

I come here to get away from hearing men’s viewpoints. Honestly IRL they are always happy to pontificate and advise.

Rubyruby2222 · 03/10/2023 08:56

Some really interesting points in this thread. I didn't think men posting was a problem but the comments have completely changed my mind.

The "male feminists" and "I'm one of the good guys" are always a bit 😬

Someone below stating that he changes his username to something neutral "so as not to distract" is also a bit 😬

KidneyWarrior · 03/10/2023 09:08

@CurlewKate I think it's more balanced to hear differing viewpoints from different demographics. I'm a white, middle class, 40 year old lady - if I just hear viewpoints from other people exactly like myself, for me that just becomes an echo chamber. I like to hear from people who come at things from a different background as it gives a wider view.

SallyWD · 03/10/2023 09:10

KidneyWarrior · 03/10/2023 09:08

@CurlewKate I think it's more balanced to hear differing viewpoints from different demographics. I'm a white, middle class, 40 year old lady - if I just hear viewpoints from other people exactly like myself, for me that just becomes an echo chamber. I like to hear from people who come at things from a different background as it gives a wider view.

Edited

I agree with this 100%.