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AIBU?

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Original poster

What is this sweet smelling cream in DS cupboard

149 replies

Golfegghead · 02/10/2023 09:28

I have a 16 year old son and he can be very secretive although does spend a lot of time with us as a family, but I know he has tried vaping as I found a disposable vape in the back of his drawer. I didn't confront him, just removed it. Whilst some will say that there are worse things he can do I am very concerned about the long term effects given we don't know what they are and some of their contents.

We found some very sweet smelling creamy stuff in a disposable plastic bottle today in his cupboard. Smells a bit like strawberries but all the information I can find is that vapes are liquids. This isn't a liquid, it's more of a runny cream. Because it's hidden, I know it's something I should obviously be concerned about (it's definitely not face cream, lol)! I am pretty sure it isn't a drug either.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
OrigamiOwl · 02/10/2023 10:24

All you're going to teach him is how to hide things better...

Branleuse · 02/10/2023 10:24

wtf? Is there a massive backstory ? Why are you worried about a strawberry scented cream at the back of his drawer? Why are you searching his things?

I think you need to back off. Do you work? Maybe you need outside interests?

Mrsjayy · 02/10/2023 10:24

Do you not have anything better to do did you think the blueberry cloud vape would lead to herion? I mean searching a 16 year olds cupboards is ott as pp said its probably lube

ilovemydogmore · 02/10/2023 10:25

At 16 you're really in your transition to adulthood. As a parent now is the time to be a mentor, a coach, course-corrector, listening ear, advice giver. Not police warden.
They should know right and wrong by now, and your 'house rules' on what as a family you think is acceptable or not. They will test these boundaries as they navigate lots of 'new' things at this age. This is totally normal and they will make mistakes, the best thing you can do is be someone they trust to come to to help them when they need support and advice on how to be an adult. Going through their stuff is only going to push them away.

Anyotherdude · 02/10/2023 10:27

Blimey, my Mum and Dad NEVER snooped through my stuff, once I was old enough to put my own clothes away that was forever my job! I’ve continued that with my DC, they had an absolute right to privacy once they started Nursery school! Only time I ever went into their rooms without them inviting me, apart from reading them a story at bedtime, was if they had night-time accidents or were sick!

Movinghouseatlast · 02/10/2023 10:28

I'm shocked at the level of snooping.

It reminds me of the time when my friends mum found a packet of contraceptive pills in her room and flushed them down the loo. Do you think my friend stopped having sex because of this?

ManateeFair · 02/10/2023 10:29

henrysugar12 · 02/10/2023 10:22

Isn't lube clear? If this is creamy maybe it's the "product" of his lube use? Hmm

When did you last encounter jizz that smelled of strawberries?

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 02/10/2023 10:30

Good God, leave the poor lad alone and stop rooting through his stuff you weirdo, no wonder he's being secretive. 😬

Myonlysunshine123 · 02/10/2023 10:32

I'm actually siding with you here. I tell my nearly 16 year old son, no vaping, we dont agree with it, not happening here etc, I don't allow anyone to vape at my house. So when I do find one, yep I remove it, bin it. I dont even give him that much money to buy them. The annoying thing is, shops round here dont care who they sell them to. They can literally walk in with their uniform on, but jacket zipped up and buy one. And if my son didn't leave his room in such a shit hole I wouldn't go in there and have to tidy up! Vapes are terrible, addictive and marketed to kids with all their skittles, cherry cola etc flavours

Myonlysunshine123 · 02/10/2023 10:33

Also saying lube🤣

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 02/10/2023 10:33

My mother used to regularly go through my stuff, literally just being nosy.
She also used to go through friends bags when they weren't looking.

Not looking for anything in particular, she was just incredibly nosy and had no boundaries and apparently she used to let her mother access all her stuff.
I hate her for it and it was mortifying.
I couldn't want to move out and I did at the first opportunity.

So good luck.

dontforgetme · 02/10/2023 10:33

My dad did this when I was your sons age, I'm in my 30s now and have never truly forgiven him for it. Massive invasion of privacy, massive.

YukoandHiro · 02/10/2023 10:34

Movinghouseatlast · 02/10/2023 10:28

I'm shocked at the level of snooping.

It reminds me of the time when my friends mum found a packet of contraceptive pills in her room and flushed them down the loo. Do you think my friend stopped having sex because of this?

God that is so depressing. I hope this was in the 80s or earlier (not that it makes it any better, but I felt that our collective attitudes have moved on...)

YukoandHiro · 02/10/2023 10:37

Well said, @DontMakeMeShushYou

ManateeFair · 02/10/2023 10:37

Because it's hidden, I know it's something I should obviously be concerned about

Fucking hell, OP. You think that if a teenager wants to keep something private, it must automatically be something you need to be concerned about?

Pretty sure I hid the free 'erotic novel' I got as a free gift with More magazine when I was a teenager, but that doesn't mean it was a matter of concern, ffs, it just meant I didn't want my mum to know I was wanking over badly written descriptions of a rakish Regency earl introducing an innocent maiden to the joys of doing it doggy-style.

Everyone - EVERYONE - needs privacy and you should not be searching through your son's drawers. Whatever it is that you've found, it's clearly not drugs so put it back and keep your beak out.

StuffedToys · 02/10/2023 10:37

My youngest has just gone to university. I have never ever snooped through their stuff. Goodness.

PhantomUnicorn · 02/10/2023 10:39

Myonlysunshine123 · 02/10/2023 10:32

I'm actually siding with you here. I tell my nearly 16 year old son, no vaping, we dont agree with it, not happening here etc, I don't allow anyone to vape at my house. So when I do find one, yep I remove it, bin it. I dont even give him that much money to buy them. The annoying thing is, shops round here dont care who they sell them to. They can literally walk in with their uniform on, but jacket zipped up and buy one. And if my son didn't leave his room in such a shit hole I wouldn't go in there and have to tidy up! Vapes are terrible, addictive and marketed to kids with all their skittles, cherry cola etc flavours

So you routinely snoop through your teenagers stuff and invade their privacy too?

ManateeFair · 02/10/2023 10:40

Myonlysunshine123 · 02/10/2023 10:32

I'm actually siding with you here. I tell my nearly 16 year old son, no vaping, we dont agree with it, not happening here etc, I don't allow anyone to vape at my house. So when I do find one, yep I remove it, bin it. I dont even give him that much money to buy them. The annoying thing is, shops round here dont care who they sell them to. They can literally walk in with their uniform on, but jacket zipped up and buy one. And if my son didn't leave his room in such a shit hole I wouldn't go in there and have to tidy up! Vapes are terrible, addictive and marketed to kids with all their skittles, cherry cola etc flavours

The issue isn't that the OP once found a disposable vape. It's that she has now found something that is neither vape nor drugs and assumes it must be something awful, rather than something her 16-year-old son would rather not discuss with his bloody mother

Flyinggeesei234 · 02/10/2023 10:45

This is bad OP.

Who does ‘we’ relate to? Are these two of you going through his stuff?

Chypre · 02/10/2023 10:46

Ideas are the following:

  1. it's probably a lubricant for personal use (masturbation)
  2. going through other people's stuff is only acceptable in a very limited set of circumstances - suspected substance abuse (opioids, painkillers etc. - not flavoured vapes); suspected links with extremist/religious cult groups; they've actually gone missing (but in that case police would be looking - you really shouldn't, might mess up the evidence)
GuinnessBird · 02/10/2023 10:47

It's lube you control freak.

Lifeomars · 02/10/2023 10:49

Just stop snooping and prying in your son's room. Once my child was that age I never went into their room. I also had sensible and open discussions about the pros and cons of experimenting with drugs. You have to trust them and keep the lines of communication open, if you are poking around their room and removing things but not talking about stuff they will shut you out and you will live to regret it

AlexandriasWindmill · 02/10/2023 10:49

Ignore the posters telling you not to look. They're obviously completely oblivious of all the risks to teens nowadays. And they must be deliberately ignoring all the public information campaigns by families who have lost their teens and say they wished they had looked and realised what was going on in their lives so they could have supported them better.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/10/2023 10:51

It’s likely to be lube, and it’s nothing to be concerned about. Your snooping about and invading his privacy however, is. But then you know that.