What is this sweet smelling cream in DS cupboard

[Golfegghead]

I have a 16 year old son and he can be very secretive although does spend a lot of time with us as a family, but I know he has tried vaping as I found a disposable vape in the back of his drawer. I didn't confront him, just removed it. Whilst some will say that there are worse things he can do I am very concerned about the long term effects given we don't know what they are and some of their contents.

We found some very sweet smelling creamy stuff in a disposable plastic bottle today in his cupboard. Smells a bit like strawberries but all the information I can find is that vapes are liquids. This isn't a liquid, it's more of a runny cream. Because it's hidden, I know it's something I should obviously be concerned about (it's definitely not face cream, lol)! I am pretty sure it isn't a drug either.

Any ideas?

In the face of no evidence - yes trust your children. Trust that you raised a level headed kid.

Kids experiment. It's normal. If one wants to keep lines of communication open with their children there needs to be a level of trust and respect.

If course it's different if there's evidence something shady is going on. But even then, at sixteen, providing them with evidence of their 'misdeeds' probably isn't the best way to go about it if you want to maintain a relationship with your child

Do people remember being a teenager?!

He’s 16. 16. He’s entitled to a private life. Let him know he can talk to you about anything, and have open conversations about whatever you like, but leave him alone and respect his privacy.

He’s 16, not 12. It sounds like lube which is normal to have for his age, masturbation is normal and he is legally allowed to have sex. He deserves privacy at that age. Why not have a conversation with him (e.g. if you have a legit concern about drugs) rather than snooping through his stuff. If he doesn’t trust you enough to want to talk then maybe consider why

Then her son won't talk to her when he actually needs help because he knows he can't trust her.

Op it's not a bag of pills or powder, it's a strawberry smelling cream surely you know what it is.

Lube, I feel like you could have guessed that yourself though…

im forever seeing lube under my teens bed but I leave it there and don’t interfere. We have had plenty of talks about these things over the years

God, poor chap.

Why would lube be in a plastic bag though? Just curious 🤣

do you get liquid e vape stuff. I dunno…… doesn’t sound like crack cocaine tho so 🤣

Imagine being 16 and your mam rifling through your drawers and sniffing everything

You now, immediately, must talk to all of his friends and also inform everyone in his family that he is in possession of ‘weird creams’.
you must make it known that he is not to be trusted or spoken to about this.

it will all happen behind his back.

FFS op.

you are delusional.

I desperately hope that your son moves far, far away from you and lives a beautiful life of his choosing.

On the contrary, it is excellent advice. If you have been doing a half-decent job of parenting your children for 16 years, and have bothered to talk to them about things they might encounter and decisions they'll have to make as they grow up, then why wouldn't you trust them to make sensible decisions or come to you when there is a problem?

My children know what I think about vaping. They know I think it is a silly thing to do, that I think it is utterly disgusting, and that I suspect we will find out in a decade that it is much more harmful than we currently think it is. But they also know that I think vaping is a decision that they have to make for themselves and that I won't be cross if they choose to vape. Worried about them, but not cross.

I tried smoking as a teen, tried various substances, slept with people I shouldn't have, and drank way too much on more occasions than I care to remember. It would be hypocritical of me to be cross with my children if they did the same. All I can do is offer advice and support and talk openly to them about the dangers.

Unless I have legitimate reason to look I kept well away from my children's drawers. I can't understand acting like you, children deserve privacy.

My mother used to look through my things, and read my diaries, and it just meant I stopped telling her anything, good or bad, and hid everything from her. It's not healthy.

Agree, leave him to his room and privacy. You'll never learn anything you can do anything about and you'll just encourage more lies and secrecy.

My DS vapes, he thinks I'm stupid I don't know. I hate it, but me nagging and telling him how dangerous it is isn't going to change anything except our relationship.

Probably lube, even if it's not I'm fairly certain heroin doesn't come in strawberry flavoured cream form so it's unlikely to be anything of massive concern.

Teens experiment. He's teetering on the edge of adulthood. If you don't want him to go completely off the rails the second he turns 18 I'd loosen your grip a bit if I were you.

I get it, my daughter is almost 16 but to me she's still my little girl. Except she isn't. She's almost a young woman, and it's time for her to start making her own mistakes and trying things that I probably wouldn't approve of. It's normal. You'll only push him away with this behaviour.

He's 16 years old of legal age for sex and nearly an adult.
It's well past the time you should have stopped prying through his personal belongings.
Leave him be.

This. You have to find a balance, but permissive parenting isn't good either.

It's lube. He's put it in a bottle so you don't find a bottle with "lube" literally written on it. Leave him alone.

no wonder he's secretive with you snooping about!

I had a snooping mother, she used to open my mail well into my late teens, then when that stopped after a row she'd google the address on the back instead if it looked official. She used to read private things I had hidden in my room - she also found out I smoked from going through my bag. Thoroughly.

I was 23.

Honestly, stop. Please.

Also, another one for lube.

Isn't lube clear? If this is creamy maybe it's the "product" of his lube use?

Leave him alone!

FFS OP

Give your 16yo some fucking privacy and get the hell out of his cupboards and drawers.

JFC.

Why are you rifling through his cupboard?