AIBU or is mumsnet slowly being infiltrated by women hating men.

[NotSuchASmugMarried]

Am I imagining things or is it getting worse here. Every single time we post something a poster will immediately pop up and hijack the thread with a pro-men agenda instead of actually contributing to the thread.

Please tell me if you agree. I can't possibly be the only one who thinks this.

Oh that's fine, I am totally in agreement with you, I just thought for a minute you thought I was bringing DS up unnecessarily!

I agree with this. I do occasionally pipe up and defend men when I feel certain threads are particularly unfair. No I'm not a man or a handmaiden or a cool wife.
There was a thread recently that was all about how awful men are. One person put something like "All men are absolutely vile. I hate them.". This is the kind of sentiment I dislike. I fully accept how many women are raped and abused by men, how much male violence and aggression there is in the world. I know this is a huge problem and should definitely be discussed and examined.
However, just saying" all men are vile" is not something I can go along with. I suppose I'm lucky enough to know many really lovely men who are kind and decent. It turns my stomach when 50% of the population are dismissed as being worthless, evil scumbags.

Its hard not to screech at all if we're women apparantly. Obviously you need to be a man to 'argue', 'assert' 'state' or 'write'. While we women apparantly turn into high pitched 'hysterical' creatures who so far lose the run of ourselves that we're heard to screech our opposing arguments through our keyboards. 😂

Think we need a glossary here.

”Women with strong internalised misogyny” - women with different opinions from me.

“Nonsense” - opinions that differ from mine.

“Turkeys voting for Christmas” - people who don’t believe the same things I do.

@AuntieStella but that’s wrong, I have spoken to solicitors and listen to The Legal Queen podcast and actually if the kids have never spent time with their dad then a phased approach is needed. My ex has had our dc about 8 nights in 4 years, and I would like him to have them more. I can’t make him, and fortunately he is generous with maintenance.

But when we first separated my solicitor said that if we were to decide to go 50/50 he would probably start with 1 or 2 days a fortnight and build up time.

There was thread last week where a dad demanded 50/50 and because he was working his kids had stayed with his mum for 3 days - including overnights. So he barely saw them. He doesn’t really want 50/50 does he? He just doesn’t want to pay his ex for their kids.

meanwhile women are called ‘grabby’ on Mumsnet for not wanting their exes to go from no childcare to 50/50.

I have noticed a lot of man-hating posters. I don’t imagine they are men but who knows?

“Cool wife” - Someone who realises marriages need a bit of give and take
“Hand Maiden” - Women with different opinions to me

@Kemper

nah a hand maiden is a hand maiden. Feel sorry for em

@SallyWD

There was a thread recently that was all about how awful men are. One person put something like "All men are absolutely vile. I hate them.". This is the kind of sentiment I dislike. I fully accept how many women are raped and abused by men, how much male violence and aggression there is in the world. I know this is a huge problem and should definitely be discussed and examined.
However, just saying" all men are vile" is not something I can go along with. I suppose I'm lucky enough to know many really lovely men who are kind and decent. It turns my stomach when 50% of the population are dismissed as being worthless, evil scumbags.

I agree but I think there's an important distinction between men as a class and men as individuals.

It's obviously discriminatory, untrue and unpleasant to say "all men are vile". But men as a class have dominated and exploited women as a class for most of history, because they have been more powerful. Their dominance has meant women have had an endemic lack of agency which has had severely negative consequences for women throughout history in many areas of their life (wealth, health, reproductive freedom etc) and while there have been significant gains made by women in some parts of the world over the last few decades it's still the case that women as a class are discriminated against and poorly treated by men as a class.

So while NAMALT applies and it behooves us not to be gratuitously unpleasant against all men, it's entirely reasonable to make the point that all men, by virtue of their class, are still in unacceptably dominant positions with respect to all women, as a class.

Yes, it's noticeable. The tone of MN has changed a great deal over the years. I actually think it's improved a bit on say a year or two ago, but is nothing like the fun, forgiving place it was a decade ago. Why is it that some men need to intrude on women's spaces? They have so many of their own.

Women hating men is a lot less common than men hating women, so the odd over-the-top poster can be ignored.

Men can’t be blamed for the behaviour of the Home Counties housewives this site is targeted at.

I read it the same way.

Ah @Kemper you have outed yourself now with that display of misogyny and sexism, and can be safely ignored.

No it’s not? It’s used for posters who are trying to twist the subject because they don’t like what is being talked about on the thread.
Oh wait, you know that.

There are some who can't bear to let women have a space like this; the more supportive and empowering it is for women the more they come flocking to try to tear it down.

Posters looking for evidence need to look no further than the Russell Brand threads where male posters made themselves very obvious, minimising rape and sexual assault, victim-blaming etc. There were definitely some women doing it too, but you can see the men on there very clearly.

There's a thread in Relationships about a pregnant woman hitting her partner, the OP is the man at the receiving end. Every single post condemns her violence, encourages him to seek help, identifies it as unacceptable abuse without exception and STILL some bloke who apparently can't read has managed to bash out a 'lol double standards imagine if this was a woman posting about a man' response.

There are a lot of fragile men out there very triggered by the existence of a site like this. They'd like it to be as porn-sick and misogynistic as the rest of the internet so they pop up periodically to patronise, misread, sealion and whatabout all over the place.

@Potiphar

Think we need a glossary here.

”Women with strong internalised misogyny” - women with different opinions from me.

“Nonsense” - opinions that differ from mine.

“Turkeys voting for Christmas” - people who don’t believe the same things I do.

Would you describe as a woman who thought the gender pay gap wasn't a problem as "a woman with a different opinion from me"?

Or a woman who believed that women's place is in the home? Or that women who work are damaging their children? Or that a man should have the right to "discipline" his wife? Or that women who are raped are "asking for it" if they are scantily dressed.

You can call them "women with a different opinion from me". I call them handmaidens and women with strong internalised misogyny. I think they are wrong and I believe they are misled primarily because they have ingested and accepted a lot of male-driven rhetoric about the roles of men and women in society. If that makes me judgemental, so be it.

😂

Isn’t it a bit insulting to suggest that these things must be down to “internalised misogyny” rather than someone’s genuine opinion? Some people have different options.

btw I think it’s fine to think the pay gap isn’t a big deal, that a women’s place is in the home, and that a woman going to work risks damaging her children.

I definitely don’t think it’s okay for a man to hit a woman or to accuse rape victims of asking for it.

Eh. MN has always been targeted at women in higher income brackets. How is pointing that out misogyny?

Its interesting that this thread itself has NAMALT, but women do it too and but what about boys. Its definitely getting worse.

I agree with a poster about the use of female, there is a difference where its used in a gc manner referring to biological sex and is used as male and female, and the threads where it is used in a dismissive way with men and females

Because I don't think the OP thinks that women expressing opinions that conflict with the stereotypical ideas of womanhood are men.
I think she's referring to posters who misrepresent facts to minimise male bad behaviours and malign women. Who divert discussions where women are sharing and supporting each other with issues arising from male behaviour, to centre, excuse and portray men as victims.

Can you (or the OP if she can be arsed) give some examples of this?

I never understand why any man would want to post on Mumsnet.

because some men are also parents maybe?

I was thinking more of the threads that aren't talking about children.