AIBU or is mumsnet slowly being infiltrated by women hating men.

[NotSuchASmugMarried]

Am I imagining things or is it getting worse here. Every single time we post something a poster will immediately pop up and hijack the thread with a pro-men agenda instead of actually contributing to the thread.

Please tell me if you agree. I can't possibly be the only one who thinks this.

FFS it's YOUR contention so the onus is on YOU to provide examples!

Why on earth would any of us bother to search for evidence to support your theory when you yourself "can't be arsed"???

The tone has changed since the focus on gender critical / trans rights discussions. Appears to have attracted a different audience, who are definitely no feminists.

Yes. I initially read it as women who hate men. ‘Women-hating men’ would be clear. I’ll go back to Pedants’ Corner now.

News threads: A 15 year old girl slaughtered by a boy she said no to.

Responses on MN: Yes, but when I was 15 a girl was mean to me, so women are just as bad!

🙄

I've been here twenty years and always been someone who defends the rights of anybody to post here.

In the past, there used to be a fair few men posting who were just regular people. There would be a flurry of silly "oh my god, a man!" when some posters realised they'd been talking to someone with a penis but beyond that, it was all just pretty normal.

These days, there is absolutely a relatively small number of MRAs, FFJ types who yes, shut down any kind of debate by belittling and verbally abusing any female poster who disagrees with them.

Two in particular are very venomous. I've spent the weekend reporting one- who not only clearly hates women, but hates vulnerable groups in society literally wishing death on them. (he's a fucking loon and I imagine him sitting on his own in front of his computer dressed in camouflage gear thinking he's Ross Kemp)

Another 'splains to the girlz on every thread where a divorce or separation is imminent. All your fault ladies, should be in the kitchen waiting for the man to come home and when you hear his car freshen up and pop the freshly made cake on the table. Relationships threads with women who've been abused have him scattergunning his advice. If only you'd treated your husband better dearie.

Fuck that.

Haven’t really noticed this. Maybe as a pp suggested they’re women expressing what you think of as a unwomanly POV.

There's always been posters who were quick to be apologists for terrible male-pattern behaviour.

There seems to have been a rise in minimising problematic male behaviour, especially on relationships threads. (Eg maybe he doesn't see mess, maybe you should make him lists, maybe if you made more of an effort, you shouldn't date a man with a child unless you're willing to take over parenting duties during his contact weekends, and the usual co-opting of neurodiversity to latch onto one small part of the thread whilst strategically ignore the contempt shown to the woman).

Unfortunately some women aren't interested in supporting a woman asking for advice or in discussing patterns of behaviour so they resort to "Not My Nigel" and "I fear for my son if you all hate men".

if you have a contrary view on MN someone is quick to come along to accuse you of being a “MRA” or “waycist” or whatever. The vapid mewlings of those with no argument.

@LolaSmiles

God yes. "Could he be neurodiverse/depressed" when he's knocked the OP around. Every single time.

Or my own particular favourite:

An OP complains that her DH is using depression as an excuse to avoid doing absolutely anything in the home/with the family/to be shitty. Has been in bed for six months and hasn't lifted a finger, is four cans of beer down by 5pm, shouts at the kids.

Posters round on OP for "minimising" depression and failing to support his mental health.

Unfortunately it's a well worn tactic that abusive men try to manipulate people into believing their partner is abusive, especially where children are concerned. And the men who claim parental alienation, when it's just another attempt to control and manipulate. So it's fair enough that MN are suspicious.

Yes i see this a lot here now. Its tiresome. I just hide the threads now.

If I went by MN, apparently everyone single man in the world is neurodiverse or depressed.

If the views you're expressing align with those of MRA or racists, then people will understandably think that's what you are.
I've often offered opinions that other women disagree with, but have never been accused of being either.

See, its nonsense like this that reinforces the op's post.

I'm not accusing you of being this troll, but MN used to have a troll who got off on getting MNetters to say how awful other MNetters are. Divide and mock. Undermine the community.

And so to this sort of post, I say the same as I did back then:

The change you want is at your fingertips. Literally. Post the things you'd want to read, the things that give better advice.

Don't tick off other posters , and don't feed the "you're all bitches" narrative

(And I've been told off in the past for posting like this, illogical and bossy they say, but continue to do so because I think it's worthwhile advice; you don't have to agree with it. Your call if you want to snark about it)

@Kemper

I have lots of contrary views. Not been accused of being an MRA though.

AS on you is interesting. Enjoyed your 'splaining since your recent namechange?

Do you think so @Ssd? I see "Does he have ADHD?" trotted out on every thread where a man won't do housework. Or yells at his kids. Or doesn;t pull his weight.

Obviously this is exacerbated, because it is impossible for anyone to get help for any of these conditions now on the NHS.

I clicked the wrong answer - YANBU.

There's a noticeable rise in posters referring to women as 'females' which is very Tate/incel vocab. It stands out.

I've often offered opinions that other women disagree with, but have never been accused of being either
Same here. There's lots of robust discussion on here where women disagree.

Usually the posts I read that I privately think are MRA-y get more MRA-y as the thread progresses. At some point it gets back to:
Women are really responsible for male pattern behaviour
The worst thing about male pattern behaviour is that it makes some men look bad when women talk about it
NAMALT, my Nigel is amazing

Also notice a lot of worrying anti-abortion posts trying to school women on what happens in an abortion. News flash: we know.

This account has always had the same user name. What are you talking about?

What's an 'unwomanly POV?'
Because I don't think the OP thinks that women expressing opinions that conflict with the stereotypical ideas of womanhood are men.
I think she's referring to posters who misrepresent facts to minimise male bad behaviours and malign women. Who divert discussions where women are sharing and supporting each other with issues arising from male behaviour, to centre, excuse and portray men as victims.
Of course the posters doing these things could indeed be women. But if they are, they are woman speaking men's words, which is a different topic.

Lucky you

It's happened to me. I've been accused of being an MRA, so of course I think it's bandied about too frequently.

And I do think that trying to categorise everything into "teams" is unfortunate. The world and the people in it don't exist in neat, tidy, well-defined boxes (despite the way internet algorithms push content). I think that people exist in shades of grey, are complex, hold some views that are contradictory for reasons that are unfathomable and which others would say are at odds with their overall nature.

If you don't see the complexity (and the chaos!) then it's all too easy to slip from noting "that's a bit odd/out of character/unfortunate/rude" into thinking "we're under attack from an influx of shills/bots" and that slightly paranoid way of thinking seems to be on the up. Which is a shame and I hope that it's a passing fad

YABU. Your thread title and post makes no sense.

…is mumsnet slowly being infiltrated by women hating men

… a poster will immediately pop up and hijack the thread with a pro-men agenda…

Sounds like a chat bot nonsense thread. 🤷🏻‍♀️