Age gap argument

[Queseraseraa]

We are a big group of friends ages 22- 27. We are all childless so socialise almost every weekend. We went for drinks last night and I ended up in a disagreement that got a bit heated.

One of the guys (22) said he would like to go to a certain bar as someone he’s been chatting with let him know she was there last night. He then divulged she was 18 and turned 18 just 2 months ago.
I said I thought that was a bit grim if I’m honest and he could not see the issue. I pointed out that it was in my opinion a bit strange to be a 22 year old that has been an adult for 4 years to find someone attractive that only a few months ago was legally a child.

He then got in a bit of a mood and said I made him feel weird about it now and was in a mood with me all night.

WABU? Yes, I know this girl is now legally an adult but she has only a few months ago left sixth form?! We are all working adults with careers and I definitely would have viewed an 18yo as still almost a child in regards to dating when I was 22!

Has your 22 year old friend been living fully as an adult for 4 years, or has he been in full time education until last year? Because when I was doing my A levels I dated a boy at uni, and when I was in first year at uni I dated a boy a year younger who was doing an apprenticeship but age wise was year 13 even though he wasn’t in education.

if he’s not long left education the revulsion about dating someone who’s just left school won’t be as strong.

"The Ratio" is a load of made up bollocks.

The only issue with this is why the hell you think you have the right to interfere o someone's perfectly legal private life.
Stop acting like the morality police before you lose all your friends

Agree. That's a disgusting accusation from the OP. She sounds vile.

YABU and if your reply to the poster whose parents met at 16 and 22 us indicative of how you speak to people, I can see why he ignored you and probably wanted you to leave him alone. A judgey person wittering on at you about a non-issue does not make a good night out.

You sound a bit silly and immature OP. Maybe when you grow up your realise how silly you sound.

Yabu

@Queseraseraa Regardless of if they’ve continued to have a lovely life, your dad was an adult and your mum was a child. He successfully groomed your mother.

Grooming is when an adult manipulates and abuses a child. There is nothing to suggest this happened. The age gap does not mean there is always abuse. There was no illegal behaviour

😂

I wonder you have a group of friends who put up with you tbh OP.

On reflection are you the 27 year old and having to socialise with younger people as you are so childish? Nasty as well so likely single? You clearly have a weird view of relationships in general and sound jealous. The 18 year old is probably more mature than you.

Wow!!!
What is actually wrong with you? I’m surprised you have any friends tbh

Lol @ are you a deviant? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

YABU. She is an adult and he is an adult. It’s 4 years age difference that’s literally nothing.

Not much of a difference between 18 and 22. I was just 19 when I got with dh who was 22. I was at college in full time education and he had just completed an apprenticeship . Still together 28yrs later.

i find it more bizarre that at 27 you are hanging about with 22 yr olds every weekend.

I think you owe him an apology.

It is difficult to otherwise understand your objection. I am 53 and I don’t like big age gaps, but 18 and 22? It is fine, really. You were out of order.

As he’s male, his maturity i’d probably closer to the 28year old’s than a 22 year old female’s.
It’s not that big a gap tbh

When I was 19 I was dating a 30 year old, we were together for 18 months and it was fine I was old enough to choose who I wanted to be with.

Don't see the issue. He's only 4 years older than her. You're the one with the problem.

I absolutely don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I couldn't imagine being interested in someone who hasn't even completed their A-Levels when I'd graduated from uni and had a proper job. A 4-year age gap is fine when you're 24 and 28 for example but just because 18 is an adult by law, it doesn't mean you magically mature overnight on your 18th birthday. He needs to find someone his own age rather than someone who couldn't even legally be in the club a couple of months ago.

What a strange response. You know that not everybody goes to university or even does A levels don’t you. Some people take other paths in life.

That age gap is completely fine.

YABU, a 4 year gap 18-22 is fine, you sound jealous 🤷‍♀️

YABU. There's really not that much difference. There are almost 4 years between my dds, eldest is almost 21 and youngest just turned 17. Maturity wise they're pretty much the same.

I was 18 and Dh was 23 when we started going out, we married 18 months later and have been married for 51 years so you wouldn’t approve our relationship but it was very usual to have even bigger age gaps then.

It very much depends on the maturity of said 18 and 22 year olds
I find it concerning that you think all 18 year olds are a homogenous group
At 18 someone may have a child, job, be a carer, be in the forces etc
At 18 I was living on my own and had a lot of life experience (sadly as most were bad)