If someone said this to you

[CloakandDagger1]

Basically, DH friends wife is an arse pt 2. from the other day!

I had to go out with this woman amongst others last night (long standing arrangement I couldn't get out of)

Her sneering continued as do her snide, belittling comments.

I paid for my meal in cash. She was all sneering and smirky. "Why are you paying cash" in a you're from the 1940's kind of way 🙄
So, I explain I do often use cash. Just making innocent chat, I say I also prefer to use it for mine and DH monthly food budget. I find it stops me from overspending when it's actually hard cash rather than flashing my card at the checkout. I've trialled it for the last few months and find it works better for me. (She then says in front of everyone, "I'm not meaning to sound like I'm being funny towards you, but we do this with our child". (Whilst smirking and sneering the whole time). "Why can't you budget properly, we have weekly menus and food spreadsheets".

I wanted to tell her to fk right off with her condescending, belittling comment!! And who the fk has menu spreadsheets. To keep the peace I didn't. Obviously unloaded it all on poor DH when he picked me up.

This woman makes snide jibes towards me all the time. I'm literally done with going out with her.

Am I overreacting or would it grind your gears too??

Surely if they teach that way of budgeting to their child, they are accepting that it's a good solid way of budgeting? 🤷‍♀️

The people defending this bitch clearly ARE that arsehole in their group and are criticising you for wanting no part in it.

She needs knocking down a peg or two. I’d love for you to tell her she’s a tedious nitpicking bitch and you’re bored of her back handed comments.

I also love spreadsheets. She’s cunt, not because of the spreadsheets they’ve done nothing wrong 😂

Don’t waste any more of your time thinking about her. She’s an idiot.

Do not ever, ever give her a serious or considered answer to a question she asks. Just smart remarks, it’s the only way to shut her down.

“Why are you paying cash?”

”Why am I paying cash??? What are you? The taxman or something!!!?” Laugh, shake your head and roll your eyes.

“Do I meal plan??? I plan to eat this meal, does that count!! Ha Ha” Turn quickly to someone else and ask them a question

Just don’t give her any oxygen.

This is fabulous, I'm putting this one away for future use!!

DH thinks I should tell her, but tbh she would just say she was 'joking

Then as quick as she says that you reply "I wasn't" and leave it at that.

Yep I would do this.

You know what she’s like.
You don’t need to worry about being rude.

Just be blunt and don’t engage.

This was a great chance to take the advice you were given on the last thread to put her in her place and you didn’t. You knew what you were walking into so could have been prepared. Missed opportunity so for that YABU

Dont reply on a text as anything written down will be used against you. Just ignore and the next time you see her in person and she no doubt makes one of her quips, be more prepared to put her in her place

Call her out next time and ask her if you have pissed her off in the past or something and then tell her to stop the comments because you have had enough.

My reply would be...

Thanks for your input, you need a new hobby if all you have to worry about is the habits of other people. Followed by polished smug smile.

I will do!
Hopefully I won't have to endure her company ever again, bit if I ever get my moment of glory I will update 🤣🥳

I don't honestly know what happens to me but I freeze with anger. I'm ready now though!!

Don't let her get to you. The best response is more body language based. When she says something sneery, I'd feign an exaggerated yawn and change the subject abruptly. Or just play it straight and ignore the sneering, ie "It works for me", as if you were making polite conversation at a bus stop with a stranger. The more she sneers, the more you keep your straight face on. If you make smart remarks back, or say nothing but look furious or upset, she's won. In your mind, see her as an amusing but annoying toddler who is demanding the crowd's attention.

I guarantee there will be something about you she is jealous of and that will be at the heart of it.

Just go with the classic MN response, "Do you mean to be so rude?" And, I would also add, "Or is it just a natural gift for you?"

Love this! I'll be using it at some point for sure. Thanks!

Christ no, just no.

That's always been a God awful wet lettuce response that will only ever make the person saying it look like a complete and utter twat.

The very probably reply will be, "Yes, have you always been so thick?"

You have completely missed my point.
The Shark Cage is about your boundaries.
The reasons as to why she and others behave like this are not your business,not yours to solve or work out.
Look at your boundaries
She crossed a boundary by asking you an unwanted, unreasonable question to ask of another adult.
You responded by explaining instead of just shutting her down.
She has learned that your boundaries are weak.
The follow up text was to test them again.
Just delete her off your phone and don't go out with her again.
You cannot nor do you have the right to change her.
I would look at counselling with a counsellor who can help you look at your family dynamics and why you behave as you do.

First post when I checked: I'm very sad to report that if your 'Tiddles' has gone missing overnight he or she may well have given up all 9 lives to the A6 this morning. The cat in question was black and white and was in the centre of the west bound carriageway between the two junctions. On my return leg there wasn't a whole lot left that was recognisable due to being run over multiple times.
Next post: Hello can anyone help please, I have a small upright fridge and sadly it will not fit in my car hence does snyone know how I can get rid of it please?
Reply: If you run over it at 60mph it'll fit in your car

Agreed. Unless you are super confident and can carry it off brilliantly I wouldn't try any putdowns as it may not go the way you want. Just laugh at her. She's funny (funny weird) and clearly has a carrot up her ass. Who is interested in whether people pay cash and who tells people (unasked) that they use spreadsheets?! No-one normal.

Sorry, wrong thread!

"Wow , I can't believe you have so much time on your hands, I suppose making spreadsheets for everything is one way to make use of it"

I like someone else’s suggestion of saying, in front of everyone, “are you trying to be rude? Or funny?”

The issue with this is its likely she will then centre herself as " the victim"
Waaaaah you're SO nasty

Just close down neutrally.
" interesting"
That's nice"
Say nothing and carry on chatting, if she niggles again, respond with " I'm an adult Sharon,I can pay how I prefer" carry on chatting.

Far better is to sack her off, she brings nothing to your life

If OP has spent 40-odd years NOT having to deal with people like this (apart from being extremely lucky) it's going to take longer than 1 thread to get into the habit of taking the witches down. Please, cut her some slack. Some of the comeback suggestions here are brilliant although ignoring the rude woman is probably best.

As for the cash thing, usually when I go out with friends we make sure we have cash because it makes it so much easier to split the bill, add tips or whatever. But it seems bitchy-woman has the impression that because only adults have credit cards, that's the adult way to pay, so if you don't do it that way you must not be grown up. No, it's just another option that you now have, along with pay by phone or whatever method she acknowledges as sufficiently mature (offer to shag the manager?). Very narrow minded and only shows herself up as such by laughing about people who don't do exactly what she does.

Turn it back on her ever single time.

When she asks why "because I want to".

Respond to her suggestions with "I'm too busy enjoying life to be bothered with that but you do what works for you"

"You seem overly invested in my life, any particular reason?"

"That's interesting, I'll give it as much thought and consideration as it warrants"

"You seem very critical of me, did you grow up with a lot of criticism?"

"Do you mean to be so rude/critical/bitchy?"

"You seem angry/negative/irrational, has someone upset you?"

"That's a bizarre comment to make, are you OK?"

"Is everything alright, because you are coming across as very passive agressive?"

"You seem to like putting people down, are you aware of that?"

"What motivates your rudeness? I just don't understand it?"

"Have I upset you in some way because you seem quiet angry with me?"

"I'm worried about you, are you aware of how judgmental you appear?"

"What's really wrong? Do you need a hug?"

She woud drive me insane. You must be a very tolerance person to have put up with this so far.

I don't understand why you can't just say 'oh fuck off you boring fucker' and be done with it?