If someone said this to you

[CloakandDagger1]

Basically, DH friends wife is an arse pt 2. from the other day!

I had to go out with this woman amongst others last night (long standing arrangement I couldn't get out of)

Her sneering continued as do her snide, belittling comments.

I paid for my meal in cash. She was all sneering and smirky. "Why are you paying cash" in a you're from the 1940's kind of way 🙄
So, I explain I do often use cash. Just making innocent chat, I say I also prefer to use it for mine and DH monthly food budget. I find it stops me from overspending when it's actually hard cash rather than flashing my card at the checkout. I've trialled it for the last few months and find it works better for me. (She then says in front of everyone, "I'm not meaning to sound like I'm being funny towards you, but we do this with our child". (Whilst smirking and sneering the whole time). "Why can't you budget properly, we have weekly menus and food spreadsheets".

I wanted to tell her to fk right off with her condescending, belittling comment!! And who the fk has menu spreadsheets. To keep the peace I didn't. Obviously unloaded it all on poor DH when he picked me up.

This woman makes snide jibes towards me all the time. I'm literally done with going out with her.

Am I overreacting or would it grind your gears too??

@CloakandDagger1
People who go out off there way to treat people like this are doing it to make themselves feel better, she must have a boring life if this is the way she gets on, I would of called her out on her comments thou, like you have your way of doing things I have mine so if you can jog on and keep your snide remarks to yourself it would be much appreciated, but I'm the type a spades a spade and I say whats on my mind.

In my head as she was speaking I was punching her in the face 😂😂😂

@CloakandDagger1 you should have took it out of your head and put it in action 🤣🤣🤣

Not seeing her is probably your best move
I have perfected my come back replies with smiley face and non aggressive tone which usually works well
I would also be disappointed in others who just let her get on with it
In a similar situation recently when someone was verbally being ‘mean’ to another friend - I just said ‘I can’t believe you just said that! Do you want to repeat it or re think it and apologise’
It worked a treat

😂😂😂

Next time bitch...Next time 😂😂😂

If this happens again, just look at her with a concerned/puzzled look and say in seriousness, "Are you, erm, ok?"

@CloakandDagger1 then you've got to start another thread or update this one letting us know how it felt and aibu to feel like this? 🤣😆🤣😆

Delete the message and block her. 🌹

I'm actually going to say YABU, for not being snarky back to this cow! It's your second post about her. You got good advice last time. You must have been ready for her this time and you still let her get away with it. Then your poor DH had to get an ear full. Surely you're kicking yourself letting her talk to you like this. Just take the bitch down already! 😅

If someone presses my buttons enough, it takes a while, but eventually I get there and explode. I'm ready now - with lots of MN advice in my back pocket!! I'll take her down don't worry!

Actually op I think you have missed a golden opportunity
Meet with her again and take a few hand picked hard faces bitches
Scrumptious ladies from here.

And when she wonders who they were once she's picked up what's left of her ego off the floor, you just say with a tinkly laugh you thought they were just joking.

I’m imagining you leaning in and softly whispering something like “Fuck off bitch” in her ear, then leaning back and smiling brightly at her whilst she’s all 😳

'Why are you paying cash?'. - 'Because I want to'. Then turn away and engage with someone else about something else.

'I'm not meaning to sound like I'm being funny towards you, but we do this with our child" - 'Good for you'. Then turn away and engage with someone else about something else.

'Why can't you budget properly, we have weekly menus and food spreadsheets" - 'Good for you'. Then turn away and engage with someone else about something else.

Just don't engage.

I replied, but just used 1 word so there's nothing she can reply back to. I've muted her on WhatsApp, if she messages again I'll just take days to reply and be short. Hopefully she will get the message in time without a showdown!

Why would you do this? You owe this cunt nothing, ignore her.

I was going to suggest this too - don't get drawn into explanations which validate her snide questions, just don't engage. And avoid as much as possible!

I think I'd have said, to the 'i'm not meaning to be funny' comment, 'Oh, you are meaning to be funny. But it's not. Funny, that is.' And if I were feeling brave I might have added 'Your attempts to make me look and feel small are getting very tiresome. Please stop it.'

I'm glad you're never seeing her again.

This is actually good advice thanks. I do engage as I'm naturally chatty/an over sharer, which gives her material to work with. No material- no jibes. I'll give her nothing from now on. I think I'll even just not reply to messages, which goes against my nature, but she's a nasty person so I don't owe her anything.

I just wouldn't care. I stipped letting people lime this needle me in my 20s when moat of us learn that you can't stop other people being pricks - only how you react. Sounds like you have learnt this lesson now since you will stop seeing her.

The other option is just to give zero fucks. I don't mean telling them to fuck right off and not caring about the consequences, I mean absolute apathy. If someone had made comments about me paying with cash I'd have said "because I prefer it". That is my exact response to most people who make snidey, sarky, bitchy remarks. "Because I want to" "because i prefer it that way" then continue on with whatever you were doing. People who are mean and horrible and use this type of questioning to make others feel small are just boring. It is so boring and you need to act bored of her. Upsetting you is entertainment to her so stop reacting.

We cross posted but you've put it much better than I have.

This is hands down the best way to deal with bitchy people.

If this was actually true, you would've done it after reading the 100+ replies to your last thread.

OP, if you ever find yourself in her company again due to unavoidable circumstances, she will no doubt be condescending towards you so please come back and update this thread with your 'come back' to her, so we can congratulate you!! 🎊

But, I thought you said you weren't going to be seeing her again.
You responded to her WA when you said you weren't going to.

Just be a grown up and stay away from her. You come across like you're actually enjoying it tbh.

I tend to deal with these people with a quizzical look and a question back.
Why are you paying in cash?
Why wouldn't I?
I'm not being funny but we do that with our child.
Why is using cash childish?
Eventually you can lead them to the point where they can't answer you without looking like an idiot. It's very satisfying, like a cat toying with a mouse.😁

Your husband baffles me in all of this.

If I was him, I'd be telling my friend in no uncertain terms him and his wife can fuck off, as I'm not tolerating what she's doing.

Wouldn't worry me if he was a friend of 3 minutes or 30 years.