If someone said this to you

[CloakandDagger1]

Basically, DH friends wife is an arse pt 2. from the other day!

I had to go out with this woman amongst others last night (long standing arrangement I couldn't get out of)

Her sneering continued as do her snide, belittling comments.

I paid for my meal in cash. She was all sneering and smirky. "Why are you paying cash" in a you're from the 1940's kind of way 🙄
So, I explain I do often use cash. Just making innocent chat, I say I also prefer to use it for mine and DH monthly food budget. I find it stops me from overspending when it's actually hard cash rather than flashing my card at the checkout. I've trialled it for the last few months and find it works better for me. (She then says in front of everyone, "I'm not meaning to sound like I'm being funny towards you, but we do this with our child". (Whilst smirking and sneering the whole time). "Why can't you budget properly, we have weekly menus and food spreadsheets".

I wanted to tell her to fk right off with her condescending, belittling comment!! And who the fk has menu spreadsheets. To keep the peace I didn't. Obviously unloaded it all on poor DH when he picked me up.

This woman makes snide jibes towards me all the time. I'm literally done with going out with her.

Am I overreacting or would it grind your gears too??

It's sad that people are like this. In a way I feel sorry that they get off on making others feel belittled.
I feel lighter now I've made the concrete decision to not have the delight of her company again. DH can see his friend on his own!

She's bullying you so don't react like she wants you to or get angry or upset. I think a great tactic in these situations is to just laugh in a really friendly, cheery way each time she's being horrible as if shes being totally hilarious - look at her really fondly when she talks about spreadsheets. It really takes the wind out of people's sails and she won't continue for much longer.

I’ve only ever encountered this sort of behaviour once in an extended friendship group. I put up with it for too long really. In the end I had enough and said (in front of a group) ‘God you’re annoying, how do you ever get invited anywhere?’ Never heard a peep out of her after that.

She sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant arsehole. Look after your well-being and mute or block her.

“I'm not meaning to sound like I'm being funny towards you…”

The response to this absolutely has to be something like

”Well, I know you said you didn’t mean to be funny but actually that’s pretty rude - of course I’m not a child!”

Add a Paddington hard stare too.

I really wanted to say this last night!
It feels like bullying but I'm in my 40s!! I guess bullies can be any age.
I need peace in my life, so this woman is out.

And also when you laugh say "don't hold back will you!". Honestly, it will make her look like a child being mean and you are the grown up.

God I hate people like this. Horrible sneery bullies. Does she behave like this to others in your company or just you?
I'm afraid I would have to say something to her, or at least drop laxatives into her drink when she went to the toilet 😉

I just wondered if I'm over reacting or if this would grate in others.

No, you didn’t. You knew everyone would tell you she’s annoying.

I’m not sure why you’ve started another thread except to extend the drama.

I also don’t think you’re going to mute her or block her.

Don't JADE

Justify
Argue
Defend
Explain

She's getting validation from putting you down as she has zero self esteem.
People do things differently, the end.

Just reply "No thank you"
She will ask what you mean, just reply that you didn't ask for her opinion.
Usually stops right there.

Will you reply to her text ?

Life's too short. You're right to remove yourself from her company.
What do the others in the group last night think of her.

Mean women Girls - there's always one 🙄 🥲

Unfortunately it's just me! Maybe she sees me as the nice weak link. She can fk right off 😂😂

I replied, but just used 1 word so there's nothing she can reply back to. I've muted her on WhatsApp, if she messages again I'll just take days to reply and be short. Hopefully she will get the message in time without a showdown!

Just remember she's not happy.
Happy people aren't nasty to others.

Thats a great retort! Imma gonna remember that one myself!

Have you ever looked up The Shark Cage?
It's about boundaries and how people like this " test" them.
Very useful

I think I'd be tempted to say something along the lines of, "How I choose to do xyz has no impact on you; why does it bother you so much?"

I'm willing to bet she perceives you as a threat to her in some way, i.e. she is insecure. Remember that and don't let her get to you. She's pushing for a reaction.

Why do you keep hanging out with her?

I’m starting to wonder whether you’re the odd one tbh.

especially the comment regarding not wanting to chat to her again on WhatsApp, just block and move on ffs. Be a grown up

In my experience only the very envious behave in the way this woman did towards you x

This is interesting as she has a very difficult relationship with her parents. Not a living relationship and always feels she isn't good enough (her brother is the favourite in her eyes) maybe she uses that lack of confidence and reflects it onto others to make herself feel powerful 🤔

I explained in my post. This was a long standing group arrangement and difficult to get out of so along I went with a 1% hope she would be nice for once, but the jibes continued.
I won't be socialising again with her, this was really the last chance saloon.

stop answering her, say something stupid instead. They haev no idea what to do and soon leave you alone.
"Why are you using cash"
"I have to use my poker winnings somehow" wink
"can't you budget"
"I have no need, I'm sorry things are so tight for you, you'll get there soon, your Dh seems like a real grafter" (do a jiggy hard work arm movement to indicate digging or something.

Just stop giving the twat anything. If she butts in a conversation to be rude say "who set you off" or "here we go again!" and turn you back on her

But you’ve hung out repeatedly before based on your other comments

You do seem a bit immature, might be where the ‘we do this with our kids’ comment came from.

Agree. This is silly, OP. You keep producing endless reasons not to respond to her and why it’s impossible to stop seeing her — you seem to just want to keep being told she’s awful. Yes, she sounds deeply tiresome, but the puzzling thing about this thread and the last one is why you keep putting yourself in positions where you ‘have to’ see her, and why you then don’t respond to her rudeness. Why do you need us to tell you she’s rude?

She actually makes spreadsheets of her meals? I would’ve been crying at that point! And would have to say something. See how she likes being on the other end of judgey comments.

I do find meal spreadsheets extremely bizarre 😂😂
She's clearly a lot more organised than me!