PLEASE Stop shaming me for breastfeeding

[thisbetheverse]

15 month old daughter, genuinely get some sort of judgemental comment every week. Why is it like that? It’s literally what breasts are made to do!

today it was from a teenager! A 17 year old. I’ve had family members, mum friends, school friends, complete strangers, people I work with all make the same comments ‘oooo STILL?’ ‘When are you stopping!’ ‘You poor thing’

has anyone got any tips on how to respond? I plan to breastfeed until she’s 2 but have started just saying to people I’m stopping soon just to move the conversation along. But then I’m left feeling like I should be ashamed.

I'm keen to hear from those on the camp of ew it’s gross after 1 year old too - please can you explain why and how it makes you feel? Also is this a British thing?

even partner thinks it’s weird!

You have really no idea.

Full disclosure, I did not read the whole thread.

Listen, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. The fact is, no matter what choices a mother makes, someone somewhere is going to criticize them. You need to do what you think is right for your family, and tell everyone else to just fuck off and mind their own business.

What I see as the real problem here isn't that there are rude a-holes making rude comments. What I see as the problem is that you care what those muppets think about anything you do. You are the mommy. You do what you want, and don't let people who clearly have ZERO manners or boundaries (seriously, I may have my own opinions about breastfeeding, but I would NEVER just walk up to someone and bleat them out, nobody asked me, for Christ's sake) shake your confidence.

If someone asks you why you're breastfeeding an 18 month old, ask them why their mother didn't teach them any manners.

I wouldn’t ever comment but I HATED breastfeeding and had non stop issues, my baby lost weight and it made me very badly unwell twice before I finally stopped and so my own experience gives me a reaction of yikes you’re still doing it! Wow but also ouch! My friends who breastfed have also been very restricted in what they could do and how long they could be away from their child, but I wouldn’t comment on it to them as it’s their choice. I’m glad we have choices and women can decide what they want to be doing. I actually never talk to my best friend about the fact she breastfeeds her 18m old as I could care less if people formula feed or BF. I’d find older than 2 1/2 very odd tho! But that’s just my own opinion.

You have it bad, don't you?

Kids get "repulsed" by all sorts of silly things, like mum and dad kissing - are they to stop that too?! Kids only are "repulsed" by breastfeeding if they have parents with an attitude like yours!

Trust me, you CANNOT force a child to breastfeed that doesn't want to! I was gutted when my youngest self-weaned at 22 months, because that was my last ever chance to breastfeed and I loved it!! I tried to encourage them but they were having none of it, face turned away, jaws tightly clamped.

Mine didn't have d&v either - now as adults think they might each have had it once or twice in their lives. The first ear infection ever was DC3, at the age of 20. Don't knock what you don't understand.

I breastfed all my children until they naturally weaned themselves ranging from 4 - 5.5 years. At one point I tri-tandem fed them. I managed to get a prem formula fed baby on to exclusive breast milk by 6 months. It's a subject I read into significantly at the time.

So its not me that really has no idea. You are the one spouting ignorant nonsense all over this thread.

No, YOU have really no idea, and it's becoming ever clearer with each of your ill-informed posts!

What DO you do, @Lastchancechica? What are your qualifications and what experience do you have?

OMG the severed nipple is too real! 😆thanks for the tip, I'll give it a try when I get there!

I find it lazy. Rather than patiently teaching your children the life long skills of self soothing and feeling content, they come to depend on a boob. You can comfort and nurture a child without breastfeeding, and if you can’t that really is a failure on your part.
An older child should learn healthy boundaries around other people’s bodies, and have total autonomy over their own. Seeing their mothers crestfallen face as they pull away and try to establish themselves as independent people is not healthy, bf after babyhood is serving the mother never the child. It’s cloying and intrusive.

Each to their own, but a difficult birth experience resulted in formula feeding from the start here. I felt the guilt because Breast is Best was all I heard. But she met every milestone early and has never had a sickness bug, d&v or norovirus. No allergies, no infections. Infact, she’s only missed one full day of nursery or school ever and she’s 11 years old next week. Breastfeeding is great and bravo if you. And so it and sustain it, but it’s the not the only way.

"Lazy" - are you quite mad???!!!

"Healthy boundaries" - omg I never read such arrant crap.

They don't "depend on a boob" at all - they mostly decide for themselves that they don't want to do it any more, and that's absolutely fine.

You are making such a fool of yourself now.

And you think it’s normal your kids had to clamp their jaws and turn away
just to keep your boobs out of their face? Jesus Christ.

You must be trolling @Lastchancechica as surely no one is that ignorant.
I mean, Google is your friend, normally BEFORE rather then after taking part in a discussion on a subject which is way outside your competence.

Explore "breastmilk immunoglobulins" for starters. Even though something tells me you will rather be rude to me and other people on this thread than educate yourself.

Something which an intelligent parent would do when they find themselves out of their depth.

It gives me the total ick. As it does for many people. Not breaking news.

'milkies' at 6 and another until 6 years 10 months? The kid is old enough to order and chew a steak 😲.

Having the 'ick' is different than your uneducated musings....

And pay for it with pocket money 😎

Crestfallen face 😂

All my children can self soothe fine. They learnt to do it gradually in their own time.

Natural term nursing offers loads of opportunities to learn about body autonomy and consent. My children all heard "mummy doesn't want to share mummy milk right now" or "that's enough mummy milk right now mummy doesn't want to anymore" all the time after the age of about 2.

'Oh god.

Seriously no kid ever as they get older wants to remember being latched onto your boob. It’s seriously icky for older kids. Once you have older children you will understand that they become really quite repulsed by it all. You are making your child bf now by actively not encouraging other comforters.

They don’t need the nutrition and they should become independently capable of comforting themselves at a normal developmental stage.'

I only breastfed for a few weeks but this is ridiculous. Surely we all offer comfort to our young children in various ways? Letting them share our beds for example? Of course a 13 year old boy would be repulsed at sharing a bed with his mother but they benefit greatly from the comfort at the time that they need it and that stays with them into adulthood, which is much more important than any potential 'ick' which is such a childish take on EBF I can't believe you actually posted it here.

It is ONE MILLION PER CENT NORMAL , yes!!

Jesus fucking Christ. On a bike.

Not breaking news at all that some people are stupendously ignorant.

At seven I was actually earning money holding discos in my garage and washing my fathers car and the horses. I was not clamped to my mothers nipple like a newborn Ffs.

Its like over feeding a child
Breast feeding for too long is the same.

Love? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone finish a sentence so passively aggressive with that in about 10 years.

Most children have weaned by age 7 as it's the top end of the biological norm but 7 year olds who do still nurse likely only nurse before bed and likely by that age very sporadically probably not every night and probably not for very long at a time.