To not give him the money

[Dodobirds]

I run my own business and I have a bit of a long distance thing with a man in the same industry (although entirely different jobs). It’s just a casual, fun thing when we’re in the same country (he lives in Australia).

I do a lot better financially than he does because of the nature of our jobs.

We had been talking about him coming to visit for a couple of weeks and I said I’d pay for his ticket.

He then asked if I’d pay for it at a certain time of year, so he could go on from the U.K. to Paris, to see some friends for their birthdays.

I was ok with that and asked if, in return, he’d help put me in touch with a couple of people that he knew in the industry, which he did, immediately.

I’ve not booked the ticket yet but two things have changed since he asked me:

1. He has now said he’ll only actually come to visit for 2 days and then go straight to meet his friends, which makes me feel like he’s just wanting a free ticket to see his mates, really.

2. I got hit with a huge, unexpected expense related to my house and am worried about my own finances.

I’m unsure what to do now. I have to see him again in a couple of weeks at ann industry event so I can’t really just cut ties with him, but I don’t really want to pay for his ticket now!

I am aware I said I would though and that he helped me out with those contacts.

I think @Thebigblueballoon was referring to taking back her own previous post, not the op.
Glad it worked out op

Tell him you've met someone and feel awful but give him some money for his contacts. Apologise, lie, move on x

I am agog at this kind of reasoning from posters. How did the guy "keep his end of the bargain"? He was supposed to come for 2 weeks, and now he says 2 days - what is he going to do with jet lag, sleep for those 2 days and OP has to pay 3k for that. Madness.

I think they meant he kept up his part of the bargain by making the introductions to the people he knew in the industry her small business is in.

It’s cheaper to hire a gigolo
Don’t ever pay for a man’s anything
it’s not ok
dump him he’s using you