Is this neglect?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD has been attending this nursery for well over a year and we have never had a problem till last night. She is 2 years old.

I picked her up from nursery as usual (Thursday 5.45pm), and run her bath, take off her clothes and get her to sit on her potty. Before she sits on her potty she touches her thigh and says “ouchie” and “help me” so I have a look and I notice a red mark on her inner thigh! (Photo one) I was a bit shocked, but told her it was okay, and decided not to give her a bath but just a quick shower down instead. She then tells me “itchy” she’s got very limited words, so when she tells me itchy I was a bit confused as well, still not too sure what to make of it but I dress her and email nursery about my concerns. (6.30pm)
Husband gets back, and he looks, sends over a very strong email to nursery. By 7.30pm her mark is looking 100% like a burn mark from friction and it’s weeping hard, we just clean it a bit and pop aloe Vera on it, DD is super upset with lots tears and telling us “pain”
We have woken up to (photo 2) this morning to darken area of the weeping area. Nursery has replied this morning with an email saying they will investigate and give them day to get back to us.
No courtesy call nothing not even an apology or sorry to hear that this has happened, just they will investigate. Nursery closes at 6 pm.
I’ve managed to book our DD in with the doctors and they have confirmed with a written document, confirming it is a friction burn. I’ve given them till 530Pm and have tried calling them three times and no one has picked up and the voice message box is also full. I feel like my daughter has been at the hands of neglect now, and it is now a Friday evening, so this will be left till Monday morning at least. Am I being unreasonable or am I just asking for too much? This is a private nursery and we pay £94 a day for childcare.

Oh your poor baby that looks so painful

@mincepieandcustard we are in London, I don’t think there’s that much social care here, or what I have come across.
it’s good to hear that these kind of wounds gets referred and flagged up to you guys.

What item of clothing did she have on?

I think you may have inadvertently made things worse by applying the Aloe Vera. I would have kept it dry. If it wasn’t weeping, I would have just exposed it to the air. Given you state it was weeping, I would have applied Melonin with hypoallergenic tape.

I agree with the former GP upthread. I hope the GP has detailed how you treated it to help understand what may have happened.

To people saying could it have happened on my watch? I would add if I were in charge of x number of children in line with the nursery you have chosen. I don’t say that as someone anti-childcare/ women working, I returned to work when DC was 8 months.

No way would not be happy. I work in Special education and that to me looks like he nappy has been rubbing because it hasn’t been changed. I know it’s only one leg but they do hang to one side sometimes when really full. Also I would 100% have phoned the parents regarding the email sent in even just to say it would need to be investigated further. It’s just rude. As a mother myself there is nothing worse than worrying about your child and having to wait for an answer.

She didn’t even get to sit on her potty yesterday… she’s also not done a wee on the potty ever, she just normally sits on it and does 10% of her wee in the bath at the moment. I just rinse her potty with water twice a week to get rid of the dust from it. She’s literally at the very beginning of potty training of getting use to sitting on it.

🙄🤦🏽‍♀️ no words.

Agree. Perhaps an allergy or baby has scratched? I wouldn't assume the nursery are to blame.

How the heck does a fully clothed toddler get a carpet burn or rope burn on the inner thigh?? Knees yes, head yes, inner thigh no!

@LadyLapsang yes looking back now I would agree with the choice of applying aloe Vera might not have been the best choice, but with what I had it seemed like the best choice when I applied it. Flustered and panic mode. The GP has prescribed us some antiseptic healing cream I believe and I’ve applied with clean hands as she suggested.

She didn’t make it onto the potty last night, and because it’s the inner thigh I’ve just taken her potty away last night. She’s at the very beginning of potty training where she just sits on it before her bath, but she’s managed 100% of the times weeing in the bath and not the potty atm 🫣

@Thanksforreading We all make mistakes or would sometimes do things differently with the power of hindsight. I hope your DD feels better soon.

It does depend on her clothing I agree. It’s possible if she had bare legs. I’m in SE England - it’s been very warm the last few days.
Of course it could have been caused by a nappy rubbing. I was simply offering another possible cause.

Regards to the treatment- I’m surprised she wasn’t prescribed an an antibiotic cream to prevent infection as it’s so close to her nappy area.

You can buy topical AB from any pharmacy if it continues weeping over the weekend.

It does look ever so much worse in the second photo. I wonder if she has been scratching it in her sleep - especially if she was saying "itchy". Like other posters, I wonder if it is a soggy nappy or a leggings seam that has rubbed over the course of hours.
Not necessarily neglect, but I'd be questioning how frequently the nursery are changing nappies and why it wasn't flagged to you when you collected her.
I hope your little one feels better soon, OP

@cardibach @Marmite17 first photo is weeping and oozing of the wound (also in bedroom light) and the second is the next morning 13 hours after and darker red because of scabbing (morning natural light) hence the massive difference in colours.

at the moment her only allergies is to aubergine, but it’s large blotches when she’s eaten that, besides that her skin is really good, super smooth and no issues.

If you look at the first picture, there’s clearly evidence that something was hanging down chafing along the area. The bit where the skin has come off and is a wound is likely to be where the edge of the sodden nappy rubbed more deeply on the skin.

That nappy was on a very long time, likely all day. Was she wearing the same trousers OP? They’ll probably smell strongly of urine in that area.

I’d be raging.

It might have also been a poorly fitting nappy, as opposed to full.

The only conclusions I can come up with:

A full nappy being left on too long, if it starts to leak the nappy starts to rub with the moisture. I won't go into detail but I've seen similar marks on mine. Not to this extent but similar location.

The only other thing I can think of is if someone has been changing the nappy but has held her leg down and causes a friction burn with their hand.

@Thanksforreading there has been a very similar thread recently. I can't remember the name to search for it unfortunately. But the story was that their similar age child was taken by nursery to a park on a walk, they didn't take any spare nappies and the child had a dirty nappy whilst there. They walked the child home with the dirty nappy and she ended up with almost identical friction burns to what your DD has. Hopefully someone might remember the thread and be able to direct you there. I would say this is a friction burn from walking/staying a long time in a wet/dirty nappy.
I have a 2yo DD and I know sometimes if she does a big wee her nappy is half way down her thigh! Imagine walking yourself with that between legs. Hope your DD is ok. And to the obnoxious poster who mentioned her pick up time, we don't get DD until 1800!

Actually aloe vera is very good for inflammation and chafing and probably relieved the chafing around the area where the skin has come off so I don’t think you did wrong by applying it all at.

It’s very poor that her nursery didn’t get back to you today as they said they would.

Like you say- even showing some sympathy and care and enquiring how she is today would have given you some reassurance that they’re taking your complaint/ query seriously? (And that they actually care!)

Do they keep any sort of nappy log or do they have CCTV in the nursery?

I think it’s very likely that they won’t come up with an explanation on Monday, so you need to think how you’d like this investigated.
My guess would be that they’ll say she didn’t show any discomfort on Thursday and they didn’t notice a visible sore when changing her.

I think I would be getting a 2nd opinion from the drs before I did anything further. I would also keep her off nursery until after they have communicated properly with you. I think in my non medical opinion its possible to be some kind of skin issue or allergic reaction with her saying it's itchy it's also highly possible she scratched and picked at it during the night which has made it worse.

What an ignorant, idiotic question. Why don't you mind your own business?

There could be a chance that if it was a full nappy that was left on too long, that it tore and the crystals caused a reaction. Just an idea.

Could there be a rope she has climbed over and caught it and got a rope burn (haven't read the whole thread so sorry if it's been suggested)