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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this neglect?

263 replies

Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 18:19

So DD has been attending this nursery for well over a year and we have never had a problem till last night. She is 2 years old.

I picked her up from nursery as usual (Thursday 5.45pm), and run her bath, take off her clothes and get her to sit on her potty. Before she sits on her potty she touches her thigh and says “ouchie” and “help me” so I have a look and I notice a red mark on her inner thigh! (Photo one) I was a bit shocked, but told her it was okay, and decided not to give her a bath but just a quick shower down instead. She then tells me “itchy” she’s got very limited words, so when she tells me itchy I was a bit confused as well, still not too sure what to make of it but I dress her and email nursery about my concerns. (6.30pm)
Husband gets back, and he looks, sends over a very strong email to nursery. By 7.30pm her mark is looking 100% like a burn mark from friction and it’s weeping hard, we just clean it a bit and pop aloe Vera on it, DD is super upset with lots tears and telling us “pain”
We have woken up to (photo 2) this morning to darken area of the weeping area. Nursery has replied this morning with an email saying they will investigate and give them day to get back to us.
No courtesy call nothing not even an apology or sorry to hear that this has happened, just they will investigate. Nursery closes at 6 pm.
I’ve managed to book our DD in with the doctors and they have confirmed with a written document, confirming it is a friction burn. I’ve given them till 530Pm and have tried calling them three times and no one has picked up and the voice message box is also full. I feel like my daughter has been at the hands of neglect now, and it is now a Friday evening, so this will be left till Monday morning at least. Am I being unreasonable or am I just asking for too much? This is a private nursery and we pay £94 a day for childcare.

OP posts:
cansu · 29/09/2023 18:56

Friction literally means something rubbing against something. If she itched it repeatedly she could make herself v sore.

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 18:57

BandicootCrash · 29/09/2023 18:45

But it got worse overnight, whilst she home with you? Have you changed the brand of nappy? Some are treated with different chemicals that can irritate sensitive skin. I can't think what she could have done to herself at nursery that would get so much worse 12 hours later.

I think the red was weeping so overnight, it looked worse because the darker colours on the area is scabbing. We’ve always use pampers from day one, DD has really good skin and no allergies (normally) we pop long sleeve cotton top and bottoms on for bedtime. I don’t think she scratched the area because it’s quite hard for her to get to plus it would of really hurt and she would of woken up

OP posts:
cardibach · 29/09/2023 18:57

It’s much worse in the second picture, so whatever has caused it has continued to happen at home. The first one is virtually nothing.

Nomoremarchingtalcumpowder · 29/09/2023 18:58

Just because it's a private nursery doesn't make it any higher standards. You would be surprised by what happens and the lack of properly trained staff. Or lots of people on apprenticeships.

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 18:59

Aw the poor baby! That must be so sore.

I’m also struggling to think how this could happen to a toddler - a friction burn on her thigh? Knees yes from crawling but I’d be seriously concerned

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 29/09/2023 19:00

I would guess this happened at home. It is barely there after nursery. I think she was pinched by her biggy strap accidentally. Maybe she wiggled and pinched herself.

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 19:01

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 29/09/2023 19:00

I would guess this happened at home. It is barely there after nursery. I think she was pinched by her biggy strap accidentally. Maybe she wiggled and pinched herself.

It definitely hasn’t. Look at the first picture, the shape on the middle is the same as the weeping wound, it’s just fainter in the first picture

orande · 29/09/2023 19:02

I don't know why people think this has happened at home? Surely the OP and parents would have heard her yelp or cry if she had hurt herself at home.

BIossomtoes · 29/09/2023 19:02

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 19:01

It definitely hasn’t. Look at the first picture, the shape on the middle is the same as the weeping wound, it’s just fainter in the first picture

Show quote history

The skin isn’t broken in the first picture. It’s obviously got a lot worse at home.

hby9628 · 29/09/2023 19:03

I think the strangest thing is how much worse it has gotten overnight to be honest.
I don't have any theories that might help solve this question of how it got there. Did you put any product in the bath that might have irritated it?

CakeInAJar · 29/09/2023 19:03

BIossomtoes · 29/09/2023 19:02

The skin isn’t broken in the first picture. It’s obviously got a lot worse at home.

Show quote history

I know but whatever it is obviously started at nursery

loverrr · 29/09/2023 19:04

BandicootCrash · 29/09/2023 18:45

But it got worse overnight, whilst she home with you? Have you changed the brand of nappy? Some are treated with different chemicals that can irritate sensitive skin. I can't think what she could have done to herself at nursery that would get so much worse 12 hours later.

No, this isnt correct- nappies are not chemically treated

violetcuriosity · 29/09/2023 19:05

The only suggestion I have is that it looks like the sort of burn you used to get on the 'death slide' at indoor play centres. If she was wearing a dress I reckon she's gone over the edge of a plastic slide while going down it or something. The overnight scabbing would also be consistent with a friction burn, they dry up quite quickly because they're so superficial. It's a nasty looking injury but if it's happened innocently and she hasn't told the staff it would have been easily missed.

Theunamedcat · 29/09/2023 19:07

TizerorFizz · 29/09/2023 18:39

@Thanksforreading Im struggling to think what could have caused this to a toddler. Friction burn? Against what? This seems almost impossible.

Wet nappy rubbing on the thigh happened with one of my children nursery were very apologetic they went for a walk and he did a huge wee by the time he got back to the nursery his nappy rubbed him raw its nasty to deal with

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 29/09/2023 19:07

For it to have got so much worse, so quickly, and to have only looked a bit reddened when you first saw it, it must have happened almost immediately before you saw it. So either at the very end of the nursery day, on the way home, or at home. Any earlier and it would have already been bloody and weeping, if it was at 7.30pm. Friction burns look like burns - like your second photo - really quite quickly. Are you absolutely, definitely, sure it's not the pram?

SaltyCrisps · 29/09/2023 19:07

Hi OP,

This looks sore, and I can't understand how the nursery didn't know it had happened.

I'm not sure, though. Are you saying that the site in photo 1 is the same site as photo 2? Photo 2 definitely shows lost skin/friction burn, but I can't see any skin missing in Photo 1. Apologies if I've misunderstood.

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 19:08

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 29/09/2023 19:00

I would guess this happened at home. It is barely there after nursery. I think she was pinched by her biggy strap accidentally. Maybe she wiggled and pinched herself.

It was more faint because it was oozing and weeping in the first photo, second photo was taken this morning and it’s darker brown from the scabbing now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 19:10

SaltyCrisps · 29/09/2023 19:07

Hi OP,

This looks sore, and I can't understand how the nursery didn't know it had happened.

I'm not sure, though. Are you saying that the site in photo 1 is the same site as photo 2? Photo 2 definitely shows lost skin/friction burn, but I can't see any skin missing in Photo 1. Apologies if I've misunderstood.

Hey no worries, first photo is more faint because it was oozing and weeping, also taken with bedroom lights, the second is this morning when it’s more darker because it’s started to scab and also morning natural light.

OP posts:
Oddearslongnose · 29/09/2023 19:10

This is difficult because you applied the aloe vera, have you used it on your child before? Skin rarely can react terribly to aloe vera. Not saying this is the reason at all , but i was advised never to use it on small children because if the skin reacts , it reacts badly. Not doubting your experience, just that is it possible the aloe exacerbated the mark by any chance?

RandomButtons · 29/09/2023 19:12

TizerorFizz · 29/09/2023 18:39

@Thanksforreading Im struggling to think what could have caused this to a toddler. Friction burn? Against what? This seems almost impossible.

On the inner thigh too - that’s an unusual place to injure unless a seesaw was involved. Very unusual place to get a friction burn through clothing.

OP did she have shorts/skirt on or trousers?

Original poster
Thanksforreading · 29/09/2023 19:13

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 29/09/2023 19:07

For it to have got so much worse, so quickly, and to have only looked a bit reddened when you first saw it, it must have happened almost immediately before you saw it. So either at the very end of the nursery day, on the way home, or at home. Any earlier and it would have already been bloody and weeping, if it was at 7.30pm. Friction burns look like burns - like your second photo - really quite quickly. Are you absolutely, definitely, sure it's not the pram?

First photo is bedroom light- weeping and oozing- when we first got her home (we also live four mins from nursery, Yoyo pram so not even tight on the straps around the area)
second photo is darker because it’s started to scab also natural light and 13 hours later

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 29/09/2023 19:15

Oddearslongnose · 29/09/2023 19:10

This is difficult because you applied the aloe vera, have you used it on your child before? Skin rarely can react terribly to aloe vera. Not saying this is the reason at all , but i was advised never to use it on small children because if the skin reacts , it reacts badly. Not doubting your experience, just that is it possible the aloe exacerbated the mark by any chance?

That's a really good point actually, I'm allergic to aloe vera, it brings me up in welts. If I put it on broken skin it would not be pleasant at all.

Sunshinenrain · 29/09/2023 19:15

Aww poor little thing.

It definitely looks sore and I’d have also said it was a friction burn from the nappy, pram straps or something similar.

I wouldn’t says it neglect though as it could have happened at home or at the end of the day at nursery.
It is quite faint in the first photo and so it may not have been visible the last time they changed her nappy.

Definitely put some sudo crem on it and be careful which certain clothing that can irritate it.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 29/09/2023 19:15

I'm also allergic to aloe Vera and so is my DD.

Boo1321 · 29/09/2023 19:16

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