Is this neglect?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD has been attending this nursery for well over a year and we have never had a problem till last night. She is 2 years old.

I picked her up from nursery as usual (Thursday 5.45pm), and run her bath, take off her clothes and get her to sit on her potty. Before she sits on her potty she touches her thigh and says “ouchie” and “help me” so I have a look and I notice a red mark on her inner thigh! (Photo one) I was a bit shocked, but told her it was okay, and decided not to give her a bath but just a quick shower down instead. She then tells me “itchy” she’s got very limited words, so when she tells me itchy I was a bit confused as well, still not too sure what to make of it but I dress her and email nursery about my concerns. (6.30pm)
Husband gets back, and he looks, sends over a very strong email to nursery. By 7.30pm her mark is looking 100% like a burn mark from friction and it’s weeping hard, we just clean it a bit and pop aloe Vera on it, DD is super upset with lots tears and telling us “pain”
We have woken up to (photo 2) this morning to darken area of the weeping area. Nursery has replied this morning with an email saying they will investigate and give them day to get back to us.
No courtesy call nothing not even an apology or sorry to hear that this has happened, just they will investigate. Nursery closes at 6 pm.
I’ve managed to book our DD in with the doctors and they have confirmed with a written document, confirming it is a friction burn. I’ve given them till 530Pm and have tried calling them three times and no one has picked up and the voice message box is also full. I feel like my daughter has been at the hands of neglect now, and it is now a Friday evening, so this will be left till Monday morning at least. Am I being unreasonable or am I just asking for too much? This is a private nursery and we pay £94 a day for childcare.

I can assure you there very much IS social care in London!

There was a nearly identical thread a few weeks ago but the op’s pictures were timed to delete after a short time.

The mark in that case, was as a result of a heavily soiled nappy that should have been changed pre-walk but hasn’t been. The nappy and contents rubbed and burned the poor child’s thighs as they walked. Afaik, the child was removed from nursery and it was considered to be neglect.

There was a thread a few days ago about a nursery child going on a walk with an unchanged nappy and having a fresh one one on to go home. They had a very similar injury and an equally alarmed parent.

Does the play area have any strings or ropes on pull along toys? The kids could have pulled that over her leg or pulled it while she was seated on the rope.
Would the kids have tugged fabric or dress ups in a similar manner? Could she have been riding a hobby horse and another child pulled it from her?
I am trying to brain storm how the friction burn could have got there.
If it were not a friction burn could it have been a spider bite that has gradually become more angry?

Poor little thing. What does your daughter say happened?

Could it be a bitefrom another child?

You've requested her keyworker moves rooms. Wow just wow, you don't run the nursery and your daughter isn't the only one there. What about the other children this keyworker looks after? Entitled much?

The fact that it went from innocuous red mark to open sore in that timeframe actually suggests it was done shortly before you noticed it doesn’t it? Rather than something that had been building up all day?

@Basketofbobbins the sores went from weeping and oozing to scabbing from first photo to second photo…

Yep made me smile too

Thanks for everyone’s comments, you guys are amazing! Nursery did say and I quote “they went for a long walk in the afternoon” when I picked her up on Thursday. I would have never thought a heavy or full nappy would have made a so much friction causing this.

Looking at it this morning it’s completely scabbed over, and it’s healing well. Once nursery has been in contact with what they say I will drop you guys all an update!
I do feel way much more at peace with everything that has happened, and I can stop guessing what happened to my child.

Do you know what? With demand for nursery places as high as that I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the nursery asks her to take her child somewhere else. That’s an unbelievable level of entitlement and over reaction.

@Fallingthroughclouds @Efacsen
We requested for her keyworker to move up to toddler room because the two other toddlers she was looking after also moved up to toddler room over the pass month. The babies the keyworker now has are also new to her so it’s not a completely unreasonable request and not entitled when I’ve asked and requested, especially when her new key worker has essentially not been great at looking after my toddler. Either way I will be asking for a new keyworker to be working with my DD, I really don’t think it’s entitled especially when we are paying for a service and the standard with this new keyworker doesn’t seem to meet requirements.

@user1492757084 thank you for all the suggestions, I think we could of narrowed it down to their long walk with wet nappy on Thursday afternoon. Her nursery app says lunch 12-1215pm and nap 12.45-2pm so at the moment I’m just waiting for nursery to call or email for Monday to see what they say now. X

@SquirrelFeeder thats nice to know, sorry I’ve never heard or come across social care or know anyone that has in London, and I was born and raised here.

How would she get a friction burn that badly in an accident though? I’ve seen friction burns on hands/faces/knees and elbows from falling over on a rough carpet- but not that bad and not in skin covered by clothing.

My son is autistic and sensory seeking and suddenly started rubbing his wrist continuously on the carpet until people intervened… and he would go back to doing it on the same spot again and again- even that didn’t produce a burn like that.

@Fallingthroughclouds it’s lovely that you put some much thought into it. Before you start calling people names, you should get to know them. You have seen this tiny thread into my life on my DD, and this is the worst thing that has ever happened to her where it’s causing her trauma. I’ve slept in her room over the last two nights because she’s crying in her sleep with tears, she’s waking up saying “mama” in the middle of the night and she never does that, she’s slept through from ten months. The only time I’ve seen her this upset was when she had covid a year ago with novovirus at hospital, and even then she wasn’t crying in her sleep with random tears. So what you think is entitled is what I think is standard practice and minimum practice for my child.

But you said you'd already asked the keyworker to move rooms! All we can see is this thread and the issues you have raised, so this is what we comment on. It's how mumsnet works. I haven't commented or made any assumptions on the rest of your life, why would I, similiarly its highly unlikely that I'm going to get to know you, again how online forums work. I stand by the fact that I find the room change request ridiculous for all the reasons I have aforementioned, bit of course its awful that your daughter is so upset.

And I didn't call you a name. I said batshit which is what I think your request is.

@SmileyClare just wanted to say a big, thank you for all your comments. Her inner thigh is completely scabbed over, looks like DD will be better in no time. She has not been upset with her morning nappy change looking at the area today. I think that I can rule out infectious diseases now. I will wait until after lunch on Monday before I call Nursery if they still have not contacted me.

Poor little love- clearly the whole experience has been traumatic for her. I think it’s a shock the first time they have something that really hurts them, hurts for a while and their mum can’t just make it stop. It’s a moment of realisation for them.
My son knocked a heavy dinner plate onto his foot when he was two- it landed on the rim directly on his big toe nail. It hurt and went black and fell off over the course of a week- he would randomly remember for a few weeks afterwards and suddenly cry saying poor toe poor toe.

Could it be impetigo?

Glad your dd is on the mend op!

In light of her having a long walk (does she usually?) her friction burn looks very likely to be caused by the nappy edge or clothing rubbing the skin continuously.

On a long walk, a burn or blister can be caused by material touching the skin quite lightly- it’s the repetition of the skin being continuously rubbed over and over in the same place.

A bit like when you go on a very long walk or run and realise that your usual trainers or clothes have rubbed painfully.
You only notice when you go to get in the bath and think Argh what the hell is that? It doesn’t hurt at the time.

The nursery and her key worker need to be made aware and report back to you with reassurances or evidence of action taken to prevent this happening again.

You panicked - I get that- you’re putting the most precious thing in the world to you in the care of others. It’s essential that you trust them and can communicate concerns/ queries with them.

No wonder they don’t want to talk to you! < Thats a fucking ridiculous comment.

The nursery need a relationship with parents that relies on trust and open communication.

Op can ask questions about her daughter’s care and request she keeps the care worker she started with as a baby.
They can politely explain why that’s not possible of course.

Obviously you want assurances that her nappy is being changed regularly enough so the wet material edge isn’t rubbing her leg,
but an extra measure is to apply a good barrier cream to the areas prone to chafing particularly if the new toddler room she has been moved to regularly take them out for a long walk.

Please do update us on what the nursery say. I think it’s ridiculous that they’ve taken so long to get back to you regardless of what’s happened to DD. I’m guessing her nappy was on for a long while and it possibly started chafing or something

They don’t normally go for long walks tbh, we are literally based in Tower Hill next to Tower bridge. (It’s normally more the park or the playground) Also we only allowed nursery to start taking her out in April this year because it was winter before and the thought of nursery taking out a bunch of kids gave me a panic attack until we established trust with her nursery. She’s not in FT nursery as I only work part time, and before anyone else judges (not you Clare you have been very nice) my DD does swimming, music class, did sing and sign, we go out to parks, zoo, farms, soft play, o2 jump so we are a full timetable hence feeling like she didn’t have to go out out for nursery. She also didn’t walk properly till 15months.