Is this neglect?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD has been attending this nursery for well over a year and we have never had a problem till last night. She is 2 years old.

I picked her up from nursery as usual (Thursday 5.45pm), and run her bath, take off her clothes and get her to sit on her potty. Before she sits on her potty she touches her thigh and says “ouchie” and “help me” so I have a look and I notice a red mark on her inner thigh! (Photo one) I was a bit shocked, but told her it was okay, and decided not to give her a bath but just a quick shower down instead. She then tells me “itchy” she’s got very limited words, so when she tells me itchy I was a bit confused as well, still not too sure what to make of it but I dress her and email nursery about my concerns. (6.30pm)
Husband gets back, and he looks, sends over a very strong email to nursery. By 7.30pm her mark is looking 100% like a burn mark from friction and it’s weeping hard, we just clean it a bit and pop aloe Vera on it, DD is super upset with lots tears and telling us “pain”
We have woken up to (photo 2) this morning to darken area of the weeping area. Nursery has replied this morning with an email saying they will investigate and give them day to get back to us.
No courtesy call nothing not even an apology or sorry to hear that this has happened, just they will investigate. Nursery closes at 6 pm.
I’ve managed to book our DD in with the doctors and they have confirmed with a written document, confirming it is a friction burn. I’ve given them till 530Pm and have tried calling them three times and no one has picked up and the voice message box is also full. I feel like my daughter has been at the hands of neglect now, and it is now a Friday evening, so this will be left till Monday morning at least. Am I being unreasonable or am I just asking for too much? This is a private nursery and we pay £94 a day for childcare.

I wasn't arguing or trying to derail, I honestly couldn't get it - like "is this dress blue or gold"!

The pictures seem to show 2 different legs

It doesn't, read the thread.

The number of people who don't understand angles is alarming.

You fell into the same trap as me. Top left of photo 2 shows her abdomen and her arm.

Just looked, it’s more scabbed so I think it should be on the road to recovery and not any bigger! Thanks for the tip!

Bleach burn. Tend to get worse before they get better.
Could some have splashed on her somehow when she was on the potty?

I think it is this as well. As soon as I saw it, it reminded me of dd. She is a good bit older but has ASD and some hygiene issues, but communication wise she won't tell us when she is pain and because she is older she manages her own toileting. To get to the point, I have seen her with similar marks when she has not got on top of her hygiene. Urine can be awful for skin and it can deteriorate quickly. Possibly it was made worse by aloe vera, but certainly from the initial pictures - I don't think they have been changing her. Poor baby.

I beg your pardon? !!!

It might be a surprise to you but some of us have to work. We could not afford a modest house in a safe area on DH’s salary alone when our Dc were in nursery. I usually picked mine up around 5 but sometimes it was later. Guess what ? They are both well adjusted, healthy lads.

Ah just seen the responses about the nappy! This wouldn’t have occurred to me but makes sense. Poor pet. I would be fuming.

The definite looks like a friction type burn. That means that it formed a "blister" and the blister popped and left a open area that scabbed over.

It doesn't mean it continued at home.

OP some kids have really really sensitive skin. My youngest, if minded by anyone but me or my DM, used to get nappy rash within hours. MIL used to think she was so practised in nappy changes that she could just do it quickly while he lay across her knee. Cursory wipe, no air drying or sudocream. Nappy put back on straight away. He NEEDED laying down on a changing mat, a really thorough clean of his bum, with multiple wipes. Laying there to air dry completely. Then a layer of sudocrem. Every time. If you didn't do this, his nappy area would get really sore so quickly. I'm sure that if he had gone to FT nursery while he was in nappies then he may have ended up with sores like your poor DD. Most children's skin barriers seem to be able to manage but some kids seem to be sensitive to the slightest bit of urine and a bit of chafing. If you then try to make it better by putting the wrong kind of cream on, which doesn't suit their skin, then it may make it a bit worse. As others have said, aloe vera may not be the best thing for some people, I learned recently.

I'd be watching out for infection now too.

@Mamette thank you so much for your kind words! Just need to make it to Monday and pray nursery replies, with an explanation, could be sometime super simple and I go oooo and done chapter so I can move on and send her in happy and not freak out at work while questioning whyyyy.
DD inner thigh is darkening so it’s full scabbing now so it’s healing well!

It looks to me as if something has rubbed her leg (possibly a nappy, possibly her leg moving on a trike, possibly a buggy strap, possibly something else entirely). She wasn’t crying when you picked her up, and gave no indication that she was in any pain until she wanted the potty, so why would you think the nursery staff should have known about it? She was wearing trousers and showing no signs of discomfort.
I would say that the initial injury has been irritated by whatever has been used to treat it, possibly the aloe Vera, my DD is allergic to it and had a nasty reaction to when she got sunburnt a couple of years ago.
I certainly don’t think it constitutes “neglect”, just make sure you get something to treat it that she is not allergic to and hopefully it will heal really soon.

someone just now mentioned bleach burn - maybe the potties have been bleached and not rinsed properly?

My son goes into the sea, and the sand causes him a terrible rash in along his groin, if you put on the wrong cream on its agony.
I just mean you have no idea how this was caused, don't go in all guns blazing. Ask to see a nappy change log, ask to see cctv and confirm nappy change times.

I agree it looks like a friction burn caused by leaving a wet nappy on for too long. When I was reading your OP @Thanksforreading, I thought of the thread that @Somethingweirdisgoingon posted recently and the pictures do appear to be similarly placed on the thigh. I would definitely keep your DD away from that nursery until you have a satisfactory conversation with them. I hope she's not in too much pain and it all heals quickly.

ma your child never let the nursery know she hurt herself,!one of my daughters is the biggest wimp going, but never told nursery/ school she had hurt herself

It is neglect if they don’t ‘notice’. They are paid to care. The child is unlikely to have not said ouchy or cry, I would be mighty pissed.

i imagine it is some sort of play equipment

Sorry if i have missed this but how was she when you collected her and walked home?

If it was a very full nappy chafing her leg, which is the most likely explanation, they should have noticed the redness when they took the heavy one off and finally changed her before she was collected.

So in no way ‘accidental’ in my book and no way will they admit to it!

I work in child protection and that's the kind of wound that gets referred to us and investigated. I'm surprised your doctor hasn't referred it to social care.

@CurlyhairedAssassin oh bless your youngest it’s tough when they are sensitive! Only when you have been through it, you understand it more. Our older has bad eczema and allergies, this DD we have been super lucky, strong skin, no issues, nappy rash only once and that was pure neglect by the nanny at 8 months leaving a poo nappy on for four hours, needless to say she never worked for us again then. ( long story short- I was on a day spa with some friends and ended up in tears for an hour there with mum guilt thinking it was all my fault and it was the first time I had left DD side, not the dads fault either when watching the cat camera back. He was WFM and he clearly comes out asking if DD nappy was changed and baby out right lies about it. Nanny was fantastic infront of me and she had been once a week with us from DD four months old)

yes aloe might not have been the best thing but she was so upset I was just freaking out last night. Panicking and flustered, aloe seemed like the best choice when I threw everything out of the medicine draw.

when I checked her inner thigh before bedtime it’s healing and completely scabbed over now, so hopefully fingers crossed we have missed infection. I’ve been applying some antiseptic healing cream three times today from the doctors, it seems to be helping.

Do they strap them to chairs at meal times? Could she have got her leg caught? I would say it’s difficult for nursery staff to notice every detail of all the children. Particularly with clothes over the top. I think you would know if she is unhappy to go, that would be a sign of lack of care.