to ask if you have an inner life?

[crochetmonkey74]

Really interesting conversation at work this morning - I was saying that I often walk around a bit oblivious whilst in town/ walking somewhere etc as I am thinking of all of my inner life things- things like bits of films I've seen, ideas for stories, lots of 'imagine if' scenarios. Other colleagues were split half and half between being the same and not having a clue what we were talking about - so for fun: have you got an inner life and what is it?

Definitely a maladaptive daydreamer, it has improved as I got older and had to adult. I never did any homework at school because I was lying on my bed day dreaming, I was always the 'dreamy' one in the family, zoned out. I once missed a class play I was supposed to be performing in because the teacher left with all the other kids, I didnt notice as I was reading in a corner. I was 7. My parents took me to have my hearing investigated as I just constantly blanked people.

It made me the weird one in childhood for sure but as an adult I'm now the 'creative' one. I'm a professional draftsperson, technical drawing and 3d realistic environment models and its easy for me, so so easy for me after decades of building imaginary spaces.

I also write fanfiction (or rather have the scenes play out in my mind) these have turned slowly into original stories and characters so I'm now writing them. The stories feed back into my art and vice versa (im currently modelling a Japanese style onsen (hot spring)) house. These become settings for my internal stories.

Its great!

@feralunderclass Wow, just googled it and I've been suspecting for a while I have adhd which would link in with this! Very interesting

Isn't there an association with how people read? A big portion of people read but don't 'see' the words only pictures they describe. This was weird to me as to me reading couldn't work otherwise. Maybe someone on here can describe how you read while seeing the words. It makes me understand why people don't like reading perhaps??

Your point is very true. It might even be why i find the loss of my ability to see in my mind's eye, and have a vivid imagination, (after I used to have a very rich one), so much more difficult and distressing. I have to totally rely on my reality to make me content, and I think that this is the reason why ive found it so difficult to get used to not having this form of escapism.

I miss being able to retreat into my head to escape from the things I don't like 😞

I've been able to do both - read with an excellent and vivid imagination, then I lost it after a head injury

I'm now only able to just read the words and not see the images in my mind's eye and it makes for an incredibly different and rather dull experience 😥🥺💔

Yes!
my inner life changes from time to time but now I keep reliving a time when I was in my early 20’s living in a city working a stressful job and making a mess of my life by drinking too much, eating unhealthy food and making bad decisions. Now I imagine I am reliving that time but making the right decisions and enjoying the freedom I had.

See my post above. I have complete aphantasia, it's not the same as not having imaginative thoughts, it's just that there is nothing internal that acts like sense data (sight, sound, feeling, smell). We still think! Whether or not people daydream or think about things that are not concretely present is a separate issue.

Yes - I love my inner life . I talk to myself about things I love . I also have two other lives that I daydream about and make up stories for . Thanks for this thread I feel slightly less mad

Yes, very much so. In fact, my inner life is more important to me than my outer life. I read a lot, which deepens and enriches that inner life, and I can sit for ages just lost in thought. I'm also profoundly introverted (hate noise, hate being in a crowded room, find socializing exhausting, etc).

I honestly didn't know that some people don't do this and I didn't know that it had a name and everything until recently I thought everyone did it but just hid it better

Yes, lots. Sometimes I just sing the days of the week over and over in my head sometimes I imagine what would happen if I took off all my clothes and danced naked down the street (not that I ever would!). I have aphantasia though so there's no pictures with it (or they're only very fleeting), just words.

There is a difference between a rich inner life and escapist fantasy.

For example, I often fantasize about the life that might have been, and imagine being happy and fulfilled when I was young instead of a broken neurotic mess. Escapist fantasies/yearning for a life that never was/yearning for things that can never happen, etc (and playing them out in your head) is probably unhealthy.

But that's not the same as having a rich inner life. For example, today I was daydreaming about Van Gogh, imagining him arriving in Provence for the first time and being bowled over by the colour and light. I was also thinking about Tolkien and C. S. Lewis and how they used to get drunk together and talk for hours about poetry and myth and the Icelandic sagas, etc. I could almost see them in a smoky Oxford pub. Those daydreams have been sparked by books I'm reading. Now that kind of daydreaming is probably healthy. That's having a rich inner life.

I misunderstood, no audible inner monologue here just lots of regular boring silent thinking. Sounds like it would be a nuisance, so I'm quite glad. What if I started thinking about some shite song lyrics???? You can keep that special power thanks :-D

I can put on some music if I need to hear something.

Nah not maladaptive in my case, doesn't encroach. Its just an enjoyable pastime. It's not fixated on one thing either

time travel and outa space thinking

Maladaptive day dreaming is how I discovered MN and I am grateful everyday for having a name for this lifelong, amazing condition which I honestly thought was unique to me 😄.

Oh yes, I pretty much live in my head. But it's thinking rather than daydreaming or living other lives. My inner voice is ever-present, but it is not very imaginative or creative!

Yes. They're called thoughts.

OMG - are we twins??? I could have written this.

See my post above. I have complete aphantasia, it's not the same as not having imaginative thoughts, it's just that there is nothing internal that acts like sense data (sight, sound, feeling, smell). We still think! Whether or not people daydream or think about things that are not concretely present is a separate issue.

I've often wondered if this is on a spectrum, rather than being an 'either you've got it or you haven't' thing. I am not a very visual person. I can conjure up images in my mind's eye, but not very clearly or in much detail, and it doesn't really happen automatically. I'm all about words. Everything in my head happens via language. I have even dreamed in the written word occasionally (kind of with subtitles). I guess that is visual in a way, but it's not pictures. I also have rubbish spatial awareness, which may be linked!

I spend more time in my inner life than in my outer life.
My son is the same way.

I spend a lot of time marvelling at how beautiful things are that I have seen before, but that suddenly stand out to me and look different. I am constantly having ideas for businesses, stories, artistic creations. I plot out conversations I would have in various scenarios. I also role play giving people money in my head after a lottery win. Glad I am not weird.

I still say if it enriches your life it's not maladaptive - I resent this term!

When I was young, in my fantasy world, I was secretly an alien princess with magic powers trying to pass as normal amongst humans and only using my powers when really needed.

Now I'm older, my fantasy world is more realistic but still somewhere exciting to escape to!

If I'm particularly stressed or tired I just can't do it no matter how hard I try, and if I'm ill or depressed my fantasy world gets a lot darker than normal but still an escape.

If I get bored I have different versions I can visit - there's a dystopian future version, and more of a near-future version where all the characters are much older!

I did consider turning one of the versions into a book, but there's so many intricacies and spin-offs it would be impossible to narrow it down into just one story! I also think I'd feel a bit exposed if it was out in the open in that way, like having someone read my diary or something. So it's staying in my head!

@bonzaitree are you confused by the 23/7 part? Or the whole thing? 23/7 is a scenario where the submissive still has control over what they eat, when they pee etc. So not a true power exchange, not 24/7. Obviously it's entirely consensual.

My dominant is a real person, I've no idea who he is but I see him regularly in passing and he looks like John Lennon.

I'm in a very happy outer life with a man who has shades of dominance but I do love my fantasy inner life

I do a lot of this, always have. Only child, emotionally distant parents, introverted until I discovered a bit more autonomy as a teenager and kind of adapted into extraversion for work situations. I read all the time.
It is rich and fulfilling. I do a lot of thinking about past and future (I am mid life), also a story I’m working on and experimenting with writing, a detailed plan for starting a new business and life in a few year’s time, and various things I’ve been reading and listening to. They all blend and link to each other and my brain goes off on tangents. I do wonder whether I have some ADHD traits as I am so easily distracted and constantly have so many subjects on the go in my head.

@Freetodowhatiwant I know exactly what you mean about it being empowering. I also had a strong imagination when I was younger about how I wanted my life to be and I have been lucky enough to achieve most of it, and still think that way about the future. “What you imagine, you create”

@NooNooHead1981 I used to work in a Claims department for car accidents and once had a file where a man had a head injury and one of his outcomes was that he could no longer dream whilst asleep. I remember both feeling profoundly sorry for him and wondering how the hell you value that for compensation, as some people may not see it as having any value, but I think it’s extremely psychologically important.

Lastly, anyone read Woolf and thought that the stream of consciousness is exactly like real life? Mrs Dalloway, To the Lighthouse?