To think some football parents need to STFU?

[forevaworried]

My son started playing for a local team, he played a few friendlies in the summer and this is his first season as U13. He’s late to it at 12 years old but was desperate to do it and after a few try outs was signed. He’s shows up to training and matches. He’s not the fastest or the strongest but he’s doing his best, and enjoying it. I hoped this would be enough as he’s progressing, learning all the time, gives it his all. However some of the parents there … they are so vocal and critical, sometimes they are openly pissed off if the team loses, misses passes or penalties etc. it’s horrible to see and hear especially when sometimes it’s aimed at your kid. For instance, this Sunday my son got megsed (ball went between his legs), very embarrassing for him and since he’s a defender it meant a goal was scored for the opposition (although we won 8-2 at full time). But Jesus the collective sigh of disdain and disgust was painful from parents. Not helped at all by the gobby striker of the team with definite anger issues launching a tirade of verbal against him loud enough for everyone to hear… taking the mick saying he’s useless “what’s he doing with his legs open” etc etc. I find going to these games so bloody stressful. I messaged the coach and asked is my son really doing that badly?! Does he need extra training or a pep talk? Coach was really reassuring saying it’s his first season, some kids on that team have been playing 6+ years, my son is doing just fine and he’s got no problem with his performance. But it doesn’t feel like that when other parents are so vocal and aggressive, honestly some of them stand at the lines screaming and swearing. I find it horrible! Why can’t they find another team if the have a problem with the current one? Is junior football not meant to be about having a good time and learning to take the dogs rough with the smooth, winning and losing graciously? Supporting all the players not chastising them when they f* up? A big part of me wishes me son would just quit so I don’t have to feel sick every Sunday morning dreading all the ways he might get it wrong and be publicly shamed for it. Is it just me? Or are some parents and their kids just dicks?

No I'm not a dick . But thanks for your open minded comment.
As PP have said, it happens in other sports too. And also, other people are idiots in other aspects of life. It I tend not to tar everyone with the same brush whenever I come across idiots (unlike a worrying number of posters on this thread).

YANBU

Well that post was a massive over reaction.

I never said you were a dick

Im a football parent too

You know what's really horrifying? Being a Ref's mum!

@CurlewKate
I'm a refs mum , he's now given up , need I say more .

@whowhatwerewhy We should start a support group....

I hope this is the dad from the other thread that was almost diametrically opposed to this one!

@CakeInAJar you said 'football parents are dicks'. I was saying I'm not and pointing out this is a generalisation. It wasn't an over reaction but reading my post back I see it can be read that way.

@CurlewKate
I'm in 🤣. DS reffed from the age of 13/14 has given up this season he's now 19 . Some of the abuse he put up with was shocking, anyone would think it was the FA cup not the local playing field.
Good luck to you DS / D .

After watching many a match, u16 year olds shouldn't be reffing games in my opinion

@crumblylancs
I tend to agree due to the amount of abuse they get . A young ref can only officiate for a year group one year younger than themselves.
It is quite sad when a 14 year old gets abused by 12 year old players and there parents.
My DS was watched once by a football scout for one of the big clubs, according to the scout he did an excellent job , the parents on the other hand were less complimentary.

My son’s football team is nothing like that at all, super encouraging on all fronts so I’d consider moving him elsewhere

@Vistada ??

Thanks all. I couldn’t make yesterdays match but it sounds like they had a rough game. Ref got loads of abuse from opposition teams parents, swearing, throwing bottles etc. I’m glad I wasn’t there! A message has since been posted reminding parents to stay behind the respect line, not to stand behind goals, not to shout etc. Must say it’s a mixed bag of parents at my sons football club. There are ones constantly shouting commands, ones that watch quietly and clap (like me), ones that at least quietly fail to hide their disappointment. Then there’s an utter scumbag who bounces around in his Nike shox and scabby tracksuit by the goal kicking off if the game isn’t going to plan. Looks like he’s not slept and wants to kill anyone who looks at him. And it’s his kid who is the angry swearing mid fielder. We all want the team to win obviously but it’s still just a bloody game ateofd. No need for extreme reactions.

On our 12th year of junior football here.... the parents are the worst thing about it. Not all, obviously, but more than enough. Won't be sorry at all when the youngest DC gets too old for it or packs it in.

The coach needs to bluntly tell him that

It a shame that a handful of parents or coaches bring such disrepute to the game.
We have a lovely team, great parents and I love training our kids and watching them play.
Generally it’s a very, very positive experience, and loads of fun, and we remind ourselves of that we inevitably on occasion we come up against a team with shitty coaches who encourage shitty attitudes and behaviour.

It’s always the children I feel sorry for - no-one wants to be shouted at by random adults when they’re playing a sport they love.

‘We've got one like this - nor sure how I'm gonna manage another whole season with him.
He doesn't seem to realise his daughter plays better when he's not there shouting at her constantly.’

Your coach needs to sort this. Parent scan be banned from watching matches if needs be.

I've found girl's teams a lot more inclusive and about enjoying the game rather than acting like you're going to be signed to a pro team next week.