Friend took advantage of house sitting?

[Champgal]

I recently went away for a few weeks and a friend of mine and her partner stayed at the house to give my cat his daily medication he needs. Friend always likes to stay over as she lives in a small single bed flat with her partner and I live in a 3 bed house with garden so she says it’s like staying in a nice air bnb for a while. While it’s a nice favour that she looks after the cat, I returned to find that my car keys weren’t where I left them. I asked her about this and she said she used the car for a friend to give her some driving lessons in. This was never discusses and I also found the tank to be almost empty considering I left it with half a tank. I also found out from another friend that she hosted small get together a with friends. Though nothing was broken or got out of hand, I can’t help feel that it’s taking the piss a little. All my bath bombs I got in a set for my birthday were used and she had also forgot to take the recycling out for three weeks and the bin was overflowing, resulting in an awful smell when we came home. Should I say something? Or do I just ask someone else next time and not mention it? Or am I just being fussy and should I just be thankful for the help.

The small get-together is nothing. And I'd find it hard to lose sleep over a bath bomb
However the car thing is massively cheeky.

Because she’s not using lights, gas, electricity what not at her place for three weeks obviously.

Oh, and the car thing? That’s two actual criminal offences she’s committed - taking without owner’s consent and driving while uninsured.

No, three actually - you said she hasn’t got a licence.

Batshit

We have an elderly cat that needs twice daily medication we’ve found a cat sitter who visits twice daily to be more reliable. The house is as left on our return. Get a paid sitter.

Omg you pulled her up on the car thing and she actually argued that it was OK?

She would 'cover all costs'? I'd be suggesting if she has a few £mil in the bank to cover smashing into a porche or paying compensation to a pedestrian she mowed down then she should probably buy her own nice house closer to work and fill it with bath bombs.

The recycling thing is grim as well.

Please never get her to cat sit again

Everything she’s done would be a dealbreaker for me. Why do you need to keep this so-called friendship?

she’s an absolute piss taker and immature with it. No way would she have the responsibility of caring for my pet or looking after my house ever again. In fact I’d be so livid I wouldn’t want her in my house.

She wasn’t housesitting for you - she was borrowing your life. Im not sure I could allow that, especially if you’ve got other options.

No point in losing a friend over this. Just don't ask her next time and give a cat sitter your key who does not sleep over even if you have to pay the cat sitter.

Can you take out your own insurance on someone else's car? Can you do that without a licence? Would this be just 3rd party?
Even if an accident wasn't her fault you still need to contact the insurance company. My car was almost written off a few weeks ago. Not my fault. But i was only round the corner from my house. Car worth maybe 6k i reckon the damage was at least 4 i was surprised to get it back. Took about 3 weeks. Would she pay for hire car for 3 weeks as well as the damage to the car?

I house- and pet-sit for friends who have a beautiful house and garden.

The car thing is off the scale and I would read her the riot act. I don't drive and have never learned, but I am a competent adult and so I know exactly how risky that is. She is either sheltered and deeply dim, or she doesn't really care. I'd bet my bottom dollar she would NOT be willing to 'cover all costs' if something had happened, not to mention paying money would not solve all the potential consequences for you, like being disqualified from driving.
I had a friend and their child round to have a picnic in my friends' garden once; I hadn't asked about it in advance but I would if I had wanted to have people in the actual house. It's just courtesy.
Bath bombs: well, she doesn't necessarily know they were for your birthday/you were saving them. But I wouldn't use a full set/box of anything without asking and/or replacing it.
I am quite vigilant about rubbish and recycling while I'm there, plus I have a mad dash round to clean/clear/sort things just before my friends come back. Again, common sense and courtesy.
My friends do pay me, albeit a nominal amount that I just put towards the cost of my travel and food shopping. But I cat-sat for another friend this summer who didn't pay me, but did also leave me a fridge/freezer/cupboard full of food; I think both are fine and in neither case would I or do I take the piss with lax housekeeping or inviting people over.

I don't understand how your friend gets to 'insist' on staying. She sounds pushy. Coupled with her disregard for your car insurance etc, I'm not sure I'd mind losing a 'friendship' like that.

The issue with the car is a big problem

what if she jumped a red light or another traffic infringement? You either have to take the points and higher insurance, etc or fib her in as you can prove you were out of the country

id tell her under no circumstances do you want that so she will not be staying again, it’s illegal and leaves you in a dilemma

get your neighbour to feed the cat or use a cattery

I would get a trusted cat sitter (ask around for recommendations) to come in next time. When my cat was alive I had the same cat sitter for 6 years - she could give my cat medication - paid per visit (was £11 a couple of years ago).

I would be worried about having a friend that un-responsible staying over and being in charge of my cat.

She’s no friend and OP didn’t ask her, she volunteered as she could see how cushy it would be for her as she’s a piss taker.

Sounds like she doing it more for herself rather than for you.
Shes cheeky and taking the car is well out of order. She obviously doesn’t give a toss.
I wouldn’t let her stay again. Next time just tell her you would prefer the neighbour pops in to see to the cat. If she’s not happy about that then tough. She took advantage of your good nature.

If you had to put your cat into a Cattery at £15 a day it would soon add up.

That £315 goes a long way to cover her use of the consumables she's had.

Having said this I wouldn't be happy about the car being used by another for a third party driving lesson without owners permission. It puts you in a difficult position. Next time take the car keys with you or put them in a home safe or lock box.

Apart from that, yes a little cheeky but you've had extra home security for three weeks, plus your cat isn't distressed.

And she's not charging you for house sitting.

Yes, I felt I read this before too. where the pet sitter should be grateful to be in a house with a garden instead of at home in her flat.

I regularly pet sit for a friend and I would not use her car without discussing it first. I mean, I have my own car for a start but no, you don't use other people's cars without express permission.

My friend doesn't pay me but certainly I feel at home when I am there and would have friends over when I wanted. She always says to take whatever I want from fridge and freezer but mostly I would only use herbs/spices.

I definitely feel at home there, just as when I visit her, and I use her essential oils to keep it smelling the way she likes it. I also borrowed a jumper once when I was cold as I hadn't taken one. Nothing I wouldn't do when she was home.

I wouldn’t ask her again. Next time you go away, if she mentions it I’d just say that the use of your car without permission and the worry about what could have gone wrong is too much for you and so you’ve made other arrangements.

Im also wondering what else she did that you are not aware of and also whether she has still got a key to your house

I used to do professional house sitting through an agent.

Unless you told your insurance company she and her bf were staying, you insurance would be invalid in pretty much every respect. That's before you get to everything else. Forgive her for being an idiot and a piss taker and never rely on her for anything important. Never do this again - lesson learned.

She's got too comfortable doing the house sit op and has taken the piss. She took a car without asking and drove it uninsured. That's terrible. And to use half a tank of fuel they must have done quite a few miles in it. Don't ask her again.

If I had someone staying in my house to do me a favour, then I wouldn't begrudge them having a few people round, and I would move anything I didn't want them to use (like the bath bombs)

The car is unforgivable though - she has broken the law

For the car alone I would never ask her to stay at my house again

Anyone else thinking Single White Female.
What has she got over you,that you're absolutely not raging at her.
This is a serious breach of trust and you seem more annoyed about the bath bombs and a party,rather than her stealing your car.

She definitely shouldn't have used your car. But you've saved 50-100 per day on a house sitter, so I would let the other stuff go.

She's the one doing you a favour, not the other way around. If you want a professional house sitter who wouldn't take advantage of your bath bombs etc, then as I say, expect to pay minimum 50 per day.

Does she do that in her own home. Keep filthy recycling with flies for 3 weeks?. This person has zero respect for you😰

I would never let anyone house sit for exactly this reason.

As you have, I would just leave and never let her house sit again.