DH's best mates wife is an arse

[CloakandDagger1]

She is condescending and passive aggressive. I bite my tongue for the sake of my husband and his friendship but she makes my teeth itch!

We socialise sometimes, I tolerate her, but just recently I've noticed her snide comments more and more. For eg, I have booked something for DH Birthday. I told her, as in general chat. Her response - why are you going there? Well, whatever floats your boat, it was probably good in 1985 etc etc. I just find her comments constantly like this and in texts always has the laughing face emoji after any passive aggressive comment which irks me even more!

I feel like one day I'm just going to explode on her as it's bubbling under the surface now. DH obviously just wants me to not get worked up and rock the boat as would affect his friendship with his mate.

For the record she doesn't really have many friends (I can see why)

Does anyone else have to tolerate their DH annoying wife and how do you navigate it? I guess I could just tell DH to see his mate on his own, but I don't really want to make things awkward for him, I'm just not sure I can stand spending time with her anymore.

@Kat126 I guess "mine" now thinks I'm on drugs 🤪

Cut her off. Don't interact with her. Don't go out as a foursome Refuse all shopping trips etc Just say you're busy with friends.You must dread having to meet up with her, don't put up with it.

My ex dp best friends wife was exactly like this! I tried for 7 years with her, we went out together and messaged weekly. I could not stand socialising and trying to be friends with her, having to invite them to our special events and birthdays etc. On her wedding night she walked me over to her neighbours to talk to them because they didn't know anybody. If I tried to circulate she'd drag me back to them! Then she put me on the coat and bag table with her brother who didn't speak English at all. Meanwhile ex dp was having a right laugh with one of her female colleagues all night! Ex did eventually apologise but it was like she wanted me completely out of the way.

She always made back handed comments about us, treated our house like shit, took my brand new pillows outside to sit on the floor when we'd just moved in! Said my son had a big head when they first met him as a newborn and that he looked like her bf!! That was the final straw and I stopped seeing them or inviting them.

When we were drunk once in our early 20's prekids she did mention she thought I fancied her boyfriend because we all lived together before he got with her so we were good friends, I told her I was relieved when he got a girlfriend as I knew me and ex could have more of a normal relationship but I think she thought there was some kind of connection there.

Honestly the relief I felt been able to block them both was immense. No more trying to be accepted! If I could go back I wouldn't even attempt to be friends or agree to nights out. She funnily enough only had work friends that she didn't see outside of work.

I’ve been in a similar position until Covid came along and put block on socialising (one good thing came out of Covid!). My husband’s long time mate who had split up from his wife introduced us to his new girlfriend, who is very gregarious & attention seeking, constantly flirting with strange men even in all our company, with her partner ignored. I found her cringeworthy, boorish & a complete lush (she could knock it back, whilst I’m a light drinker) and she always insisted on coming back to our / or other friends house after a night out to ‘order a cabI’, which is totally unnecessary with the services of Uber etc these days, of course she’s just wanted to extend the evening like the ‘party animalI’ she saw herself as - we’re all in our 50’s so my hubby & I just wanna go to bed at the end of the night! She admitted she didn’t have any friends apart from 1 woman & her husband, so I felt a bit sorry for her at first, but each time we went out she irritated me by trying to make me join in by dancing in inappropriate places (run down pub with jukebox in background on one occasion 🙄). I told my husband I’d had enough of these booze fuelled evenings with her self-obsessed conversation & he would have to see his mate on his own from now on. He completely understood, although it was hard to get his mate away from her, but realised it was unfair on me, and we’ve stopped engaging as a couple. He only sees his mate rarely now, as she doesn’t like him going out with her (control/jealous freak) but that’s his mate’s problem, and to some degree my husband’s, but certainly not mine!

Keep her at arms length - polite chit chat only and don’t give any private info to her . If you have to socialize go out and don’t have her in your home . I also didn’t like one of DH friends insufferable superwoman complex . Would say things like I don’t like having friends as you have to maintain that and I’m too busy

so I thought ok slowly cut her off and luckily they lived away

also don’t message her straight away respond with urgency etc leave it a while and keep the responses polite but short . She will soon get bored of you . Tell your hubby you don’t like her and then it’s out there - you don’t have to !