AIBU to ask grandparents to stop the junk food?

[MrsLeopard]

Hi,

I have a 9 month old baby who will be going to my parents one day a week once I go back to work in a couple of months. At the moment they already look after my 2 year old niece on the same day. I am extremely grateful that my parents are able to help out, I really want my son to know his grandparents and cousin well.

The issue I have is that my parents think nothing of giving my niece junk food. They have a special "sweetie cupboard " where they keep packets of jelly babies and party rings specifically for my niece. At the weekend I was visiting and they had McDonald's and were asking my son if he wanted a chicken nugget! Parents can feed their kids whatever they want but a baby doesn't need McDonald's. My mum has asked me before if she can give my son squash when she's looking after him and they laugh when I say no.

My siblings are happy for their kids to eat biscuits, sweets and chips and that is fine because its their choice but as my son gets older I don't want him feeling like he's being punished, at the same time I can't ask my siblings to stop giving their kids this food in front of my son.

What do I do? Should I approach my siblings and ask them to stop the junk food or do I just insist on my son not getting the treats his cousins do?

Okay - I did some research apparently in the UK squash is not a vegetable.
I am amazed you could defame one of the most nutrient dense vegetables - one that is available in so many forms acorn, spaghetti, butternut, zucchini, etc.

There's a balance to be had and I think one day a week is fine if he's eating healthily the rest of the week. At the moment he's too little to notice that his older cousins will be having treats but as he gets older I think its unfair for you to ask your parents to refuse him when his older cousins are having them.

I know your experience is being fed junk and having bad teeth because of it. My mum is health fanatic and I've never seen so much as a chip pass her lips. My sister and I didn't get any sugary drinks or snacks as children and we both became overweight adults, we were sweet crazy as kids when we were offered as we were so restricted. It's made me less restrictive with my children when it comes to junk but I'm also wary of allowing them too much rubbish so I rarely have any sugary treats in the house but I'm happy for her to have them when we're out or a relative is minding her.

It's really important for there to be a balance, if you restrict something too much then your son might end up desiring it more!

Personally, I’d never feed a McDs chicken nugget to a baby/ toddler. A fresh piece of free range chicken to a baby would be ok, but not one coated in gods knows what. And not knowing the provenance of chicken would just not be acceptable to me. I will only eat free range, preferably organic chicken, and I’d expect that for any Dcs I’m feeding

she means cordial.

It's really high in sugar

This is too ridiculous to give any more energy to. Calm down and go touch some grass.

Laziness and lack of self control? Binging because parents banned all treats? I’ve a BMI of 19. I love choc and and takeaways but I don’t go overboard, maybe because my parents didn’t go mad on restricting treats.

It's one day a week and, while it's not a great diet, you're sending your child to your parents to take advantage of the free childcare they're providing.
If it's that much of an issue, why can't you pay for childcare for that day?

Clean his teeth when he gets home.
Your parents obviously haven’t got a clue about diet and aren’t about to start changing their outlook now.

I'm pretty lucky as my parents both encourage quite healthy eating, might get an occasional treat when out but nothing constant - then again neither will give any childcare lol so maybe not lucky in that sense!

I'd probably have a chat e.g. I don't mind a mini donut if you're out as a pudding after eating the healthy lunch, but don't want sweets on tap all day, but if it doesn't go down so well you pay for the childcare on that day really. Ultimately you can't control it fully unless you don't put your child with them

I find all the insistence that children raised eating healthy food will "go crazy" when they leave home/go to uni very odd/defensive...

I was raised in a no-junk-food household. Did I order a few too many takeaways at uni? Sure, but I still ate well the rest of the time and I'm now an adult who doesn't eat junk food and very glad my mum raised me this way. I'm now raising children of my own and I will definitely be following in my mother's footsteps and avoiding junk food!

It’s one day a week.

Am I the only one who thinks that’s quite significant? Then they’ll be times when OP can’t be arsed to cook (understandabley) or wants to share a treat.

OP I feel your pain but you do know once you mention free childcare, people will advise that that entitles the carer to do what they like!

No 9 month old baby need junk food, Christ!

I had this with my inlaws, my SIL had a baby the same age as mine and she fed him all sorts of crap and constantly offered to feed mine the same knowing it pi**ed me off. She used to give him sugary tea in a bottle at 6 months old, loads of cake and biscuits etc. They would all eyeroll at me when I said no.

We are strict about junk food still in our house, my children are 12,14 and 15 and funny enough dont binge eat junk when they are not with me.

My advice is just keep saying no thanks please dont feed him that but accept they will at least some of the time.

I think your child is a bit young to be eating rubbish. Once he's a few years older I wouldn't worry so much about one day a week of junk but I think it's a bit odd to be offering chicken nuggets and squash to a baby. Can you just explain to your parents that you want him to have a wholesome diet for as long as feasibly possible and you would love their help with that. I appreciate you don't want to be too controlling but my children eat so many sweets now I wish I'd been a bit more controlling when they were younger!!

It shouldn’t do too much harm if he’s only there once a week.

I understand where you’re coming from with the Chicken nuggets but, honestly, let them try everything. My eldest two weren’t given food like that when they were babies/ toddlers as I was worried about weaning them healthily. It’s turned into a right pain in the arse because whilst they will eat a varied diet and love a full roast dinner with chicken breast and veg etc, they won’t touch things like chicken nuggets now which is a pain when they go to birthday parties etc or have school dinners as the little chicken snobs don’t want the processed chicken 🤣 This is not a stealth brag btw, I’ve included things like chicken nuggets in moderation when weaning my third and he is a fully fledged chicken nugget fanatic. Everything in moderation I think, which it will be for your son if he’s only there once a week.

And she can still do that 🤷‍♀️

It is significant. Quite aside from impact on health, it’s habit forming.

Luckily the tide is turning on people taking ownership of their own health, but it’s not quick enough. In the next few decades there will be an explosion of cardio problems, diabetes, obesity-related disabilities, and shorter life spans. And there won’t be enough NHS resource and public funds to take care of everyone.

Funny isn't it, there are more people disagreeing specifically with you than me.

Well then the impact becomes even more significant.

Absolutely.

Then OP should pay for childcare.

Well then the impact becomes even more significant.

Well then, she can pay for childcare if she's not happy with what she's being given for free 🙈

Well there might be a middle ground. My parents really appreciate me sending a packed lunch and dinner for when they have DS one day a week. So OP might be able to do that instead.

Kinneddar · Yesterday 18:25

or do I just insist on my son not getting the treats his cousins do

And how do you expect your parents to explain that to him.”

He’s 9 months old, no explanation required. OP, take his meals/snacks and tell them not to give him anything else. No 9 month old should be eating salty chicken nuggets, kidneys aren’t up to it yet.

Didn't OP already say that her siblings did that but they just give what they want instead? The siblings just don't seem as bothered about it as OP would be.