Group of school mums.

[Hiwelcome]

There is one group of school mums who have children in my daughters reception class. Every drop off and pick up they stand in a circle chatting away and seem very involved in the school, seem to know everybody and everybody’s children. I’ve noticed they are quite hostile towards me though and have started giving me ‘dirty looks’. I have never spoken to them but do smile and this morning one of them gave me the evils back. I know I shouldn’t care but it’s annoying me as this is every morning and I’m just trying to go about my day and drop my daughter off to school but it’s bothering me.

If this is the case then why on earth would you keep approaching them?
Why would you stand and stare at someone repeatedly?

If they are really as vile, bitchy,snarky,hostile insert any other imagined behaviour
surely they aren't worth knowing ?
However these assassinations of character and nasty generalisations are based on nothing concrete just assumptions.
Very strange, ego based behaviour to think some is a complete cow, bitch etc because they are chatting to their friends

That’s lovely. People don’t realise (or care at all from some of the comments on this thread) that a person can be feeling vulnerable at the school gate. You don’t have to make friends with someone, that’s unrealistic, but as I keep saying, be kind - it really doesn’t cost anything.

I feel all this ‘mean girls, coven, bullies’ feeds into the very old fashioned/Gilead-esque concept that women talking to each and building friendship groups must be treated with suspicion and motive.

People need to scrutinise as to why they feel this way.

Do we need a bingo sheet?
we’ve had:
Coven
Mummy Mafia
Queen Bee

I think expecting someone to make both diagnostic and therapeutic decisions on which nearby adults are ‘struggling’ first thing in the morning while caring for young children does cost something, actually. I’m on the chatty/smily end of the spectrum (which is much more normal where I’m from than where I live now), I smile and say hello to everyone when I first meet them. Three weeks in I will probably only be bothering with the ones who initially smiled and chatted back.

@Alwaysdieting where on earth have you pulled this from?! What makes you think they’d do this? It’s a group of women so they must only talk about superficial things like prams and bags and must be competing against each other because women who aren’t petrified introverts are Mean Girls?

So much misogyny. Grim.

I was chatting in a ‘coven’ this morning because we were asking how one mum’s DH’s chemo was going and she was updating us. If anyone thought “Ooh they must be showing off about their child and prams” I’d think that person was the biggest loser I’d ever had the misfortune to clap my eyes on.

The chances of people randomly giving a stranger dirty looks for no reason is so I fed only low it’s laughable.

And quite stupid too.

OMG OP do NOT do this unless you want you and you child to be forever excluded from school life because you’re the resident weirdo.

Can I ask @Imisssleep2 how are women at your preschool bitchy

Such a shame people find women in general like this and ‘prefer men’. I’m sure I’m it alone but I have phenomenal female friendships and every straight bloke but 1 I’ve been friends with eventually tried it on with me.

@TrishM80 why? What’s wrong with women talking to friends? Genuine question

What’s wrong with this attitude? It’s school pick up not the WI - should all the women go around bellowing ‘hello’ to random women they don’t know rather than talking to their mates?

I missed that post! Who said this?

Oh wait…you’re just making nonsense up 🤣

Thing is, antenatal groups are small and temporary and coincide with having a baby therefore you become super busy. With your child you’ll be standing next to those mums for 7 years. There’s also lots more of them do more likely you’ll find ‘your person’ in that group. Also your kids make friends! Which encourages mixing together

So women who talk to each other now don’t work?

Unbelievable

This thread is embarrassing

Why?!

We are parents not school kids.

Why are women responsible for the feelings of literally the next strange woman?

Also I think most people standing alone are happy to do so and would be creeped out by some rando bouncing up to them to say
‘hellooooo’

Here’s a a thought - that big wet thing in your mouth. Use it if you want to be included. Don’t stand about thinking “Well NO ONE is approaching ME even though they’re not psychic, how rude!”

BINGO!

Now we have ‘cunts’ to add to the list of sexism on here. Nice.

It is very likely and possible that people with victim complex DON’T see ‘dirty looks’ they think they do, but just a woman’s face who is looking their way and probably doesn’t even notice them. People who moan about mum groups IMO are more likely to be so paranoid that they see things that aren’t there.

You say hi to everyone in the playground every day? Sounds exhausting

What kind of parent of a school aged child would even be discussing prams 🤣 even if you have a younger kid you surely would be past talking about prams!

I’m trying to picture it in my head and all I see is women with their noses in the air marching past groups of women, but with this one I’m laughing at some random woman looking in the direction of a group of friends and loudly saying ‘hahahahahahahaha’🤣🤣
Seriously those of you who think you are ‘clapping back’ must look seriously demented

Or just running round the playground bellowing ‘good morning’ at random women then running off 😂

Men talk to each other.

Women gossip and bitch apparently.

My bingo card's nearly full.

But why should they care?!

Women in the playground aren’t GPs, they have no responsibility to vulnerable women. Maybe these vulnerable women should consider others are fighting their own demons and have their own hard lives and long days, that they have no little time they barely see their established friends therefore aren’t even considering making new ones.

If you're feeling lonely on the school run you need to think of strategies to make friends if that's what you want. Smiling from afar isn't going to do it. Look for people you think are your kind of people and make small talk. Or chat to the parents of your children's friends. There's so much small talk you can have at the school gate, you can say how the new teacher is settling in well, or what's they're kid going to wear for the next dress up day etc.

The onus is on you though, the vast majority of the other parents are too busy dealing with their own shit to be looking at every other parent on the school run to decide who is lonely, who doesn't have friends etc. they're probably just trying to grab 5 minutes to offload to a friend about their stressed out morning or how they're stressed about their day ahead.

Do you think I'm demented?
For suggesting people stop staring at other people and expecting them to suddenly be friends.
Can't work out if I'm reading this wrong..

Because women are showy show offs just competing with each other and would NEVER have an important or intellectual conversations. If you are officially part of a clique then you are installed with a string in your back like a doll and when it’s pulled you just say “Prams, gifted child, hair, nails”

Seriously though I think there is a lot of envy towards more confident women in the world, and that translates into believing they’re ‘bitches’ - when actually people saying these words are likely coming off as miserable and hostile. And let’s face it who wants to be mates with miserable and hostile