WIBU to take this much from DD’s benefits?

[BlueLines81]

My DD is 19 and has a disability, she is not able to work and won’t be able to for the foreseeable. She receives PIP.

As she’s no longer in education, I was not entitled to claim benefits for her from the end of august this year. My tax credits went down quite considerably, and lost CB too, and all of my housing benefit. All together I am about £190 per week worse off. Which isn’t great as I am a single parent and also have a health condition (I receive low rate mobility PIP), and I had to give my job up in July as I couldn’t manage it anymore, so that’s another £1000ish per month down.

I am self employed and doing bits and pieces where I can, to give you an idea I’ve managed about 12 hours of work this month.

I did an online calculator in august and it looked like I would be better off on UC, and also needed to start a UC claim for DD, so I claimed for us both on the same day. We had an appointment at the jobcentre for DD’s claim a couple of weeks ago, and the advisor suggested that I become her appointee and I could have her UC paid into my account, if we felt DD didn’t have the capacity to manage it herself. I asked DD what she thought and she said she’d rather it was paid into my account. I am getting fit notes for both of us from the doctor and and hopefully we will both be entitled to the LCWRA elements.

The idea of being an adult and having to pay bills terrifies DD, mentally she is more like a 12 year old in a lot of ways. I have spoken to her about it and said the options are that either we work out exactly what her share of rent and bills etc would be and she just gives me the money for those, and she can arrange her own food shopping etc, and pay for herself if she wants to come on holidays etc. Or I keep the amount that I’ve lost in benefits for her, she can have whatever is leftover (which I think will still mean she’s better off than she is now with just her PIP). And then she can carry on essentially being a child for as long as she wants (I don’t mean this negatively, she regularly gets very tearful that she’s not a child anymore). She liked the sound of that option better. She just doesn’t want to have to think about finances at all.

But AIBU to take this much money from her? I don’t know the exact figures of what I’ll have lost until we get our first UC statements in a few days, but will probably be at least £150 per week. I know this a lot more than a lot of people take from adult children, which is why I feel bad, but then maybe they have a partner or are just financially in a better situation than I am. Realistically she’s going to be living at home for many more years to come.

The whole assessment needs an overall. It really does as this thread shows.

No you have to be on enhanced / higher mobility

No you can't ! Enhanced mobility only.

agree with this
she should have her own money and if i remember right there is a younger child so she should pay approx 1/3

there was another thread yesterday with a similar theme about losing benefit when the son reached 18yrs ir seems like this and the other thread boil down to the op's losing money once the child reaches being an adult, and the benefits change and then the posters panic seems like the they get to used to the benefits children bring in im afraid

They don’t award PIP without an assessment. During the pandemic PIP assessments were done by phone appointments with assessors and from information on the paperwork. DWP also contacted health care professionals involved with claimants a lot more, to double check information.

Slightly off topic, but are you sure her driving instructor is any good, OP?

I had a terrible driving instructor the first time but a brilliant one the second time. I also had some friends/relatives whose driving instructors were purposely protracting the learning process, taking them on TWO hour long drives AWAY from the preferred test centre, just so they could keep pocketing the money endlessly.

My driving instructor had me so familiar with the routes my local test centre usually took, which I found was a great and simple strategy.

You can read it yourself - the post about it further up.

My mum’s PIP was extended to 2027 during covid, with no phone interview at all. I know you said awarded though.

@Rosscameasdoody

Not necessarily. If she gets higher rate mobility there are clearly severe problems getting around so if she doesn’t pass a test, she can nominate someone else as the driver to use the car for her benefit.

She isn't in need of being driven about. She has no job or place of study to go to.

She isn't going to pass her test if she doesn't understand roundabouts. Panic over! she only needs to get it on the day she takes her test, and then she will have a licence.

The issue here is the fact that the OP is essentially indulging her by letting her have a go at driving in the hope that she will fail.

So why is the OP not letting her have a go at managing her money? Something which she can succeed at.

I do wonder if the OP is in fact afraid that her DD is capable of being more independent than the OP thinks she is.

I see it on the VI groups on FB all the time. Adults posting that they’d love to learn to cook but their parents won’t let them, that their parents are away for the weekend and they don’t know how they will survive. And they’ve grown up being led to believe that they can’t do certain things, when they absolutely can if they’re just given the skills to try.

^ here

I know people who have been awarded PIP with no assessment. Not many, but it does happen.

That's what I thought. Thankyou. So how is there a mobility car if daughter gets low rate mobility?

Is there a different scheme I don't know about?

As an aside, my teenager moved from DLA to PIP this year and didn't get a phone or face to face assessment.

And ops dd was one of them too.

i have had 2 paper decisions and one telephone accessment in 12yrs for pip so some will go straight to paper decision

i have no idea what the % paper decisions are but they do happen i have just had my second

@MySugarBabyLove of course I don’t WANT her to fail, I’d love if she could pass and have that independence, it’s just turned out to be unlikely to happen from what I’ve seen of her driving. But you never know, maybe she will. She doesn’t have many places to go at the moment no, but hopefully that will change as she gets older and driving is a useful life skill to have. I’ve already said it many times on this thread, but I am always encouraging her independence. She is currently cooking some food for herself (ok it’s a pizza), yesterday she went into the city with her friend. They missed their train because her timekeeping is hopeless, and she phoned me from the station to ask if I could drive her into the city as the next train wasn’t for hours. I said no, but I did drive them to another station half an hour away where they could get on a train on a different line. So I’m all up for encouraging independence, but I do have to be there to pick her up (literally) if things don’t go to plan.

I don’t think anyone would disagree but it’s unlikely to happen, and if it does it won’t be to the advantage of the claimant. PIP was never designed to provide adequate support - it replaced DLA for working age people and was designed to save money. The eligibility criteria screens out high levels of impairment by over simplifying disability and reducing it to a point scoring system. You only have to look at the cooking assessment to realise that - how can it realistically assess someone’s ability to safely and adequately cook a meal when it assumes they have everything they need already in front of them and doesn’t include bending, lifting or moving around the kitchen ? And that’s only the tip of the iceberg !!

Thank you. I thought I'd misunderstood about the mobility car/free driving lessons etc. I was bending my mind to work out how that be achieved on low rate mobility.

Hopefully OP will be able to clarify and assist others who also have low rate mobility to be able to secure a motability vehicle?

There was no assessment for her PIP no, but I did have a raft of medical evidence including her EHCP, so they obviously felt able to make a decision with the evidence they had.

My youngest dd didn’t have a face to face or phone appointment, she has enough medical evidence and a detailed EHCP and attends a SEN college, this was after covid. They don’t always do an assessment if there’s enough evidence. My eldest had a phone assessment during covid, she has physical disabilities as well as autism, they refused her PIP at first in the grounds she was academically doing well and planning to go to uni (who cares that she’s in constant pain and can’t walk very far), I had to get extra private assessments done because NHS had not seen her in the last 2 years. Yes the way PIP is assessed is pretty awful especially for those with cancer and long term illness, it’s not that great for those with autism either. PIP is not easy to get.

OP, maybe your dd should give up with the driving? I don’t think my dd would ever be safe to drive, we have considered an automatic but I’m not sure she would be that safe, she’s not keen on learning and is slowly learning to use buses alone (but only one bus route).

@Trez1510 she had LRM on DLA when she was younger, but they gave her HRM on PIP, possibly because her CFS had become a lot worse. No, you can’t get motability on LRM.

Does the friend have disabilities too ? baffled as to how your dd qualifies for enhanced rate mobility yet goes off to another town ?

Is her condition variable or something?

@Babyroobs her friend is on the waiting list to be assessed for ASD. On your second point, do you really think people with disabilities can’t/shouldn’t leave the house or their immediate vicinity? She would not be capable of doing that by herself, but with a friend there with her she is able to.

You’re missing the point.

She shouldn’t be learning to drive in the first place, but you’re letting her because you know that she has more chance of failing at that than of being able to manage her own money.

Being able to manage money is a far more important life skill to have and yet you’re not giving her the opportunity to have that skill. Why not?

What good is driving a car going to be to her if she can’t even manage to sort out the MOT, the insurance, the tax, and if she can’t even manage to pay her essential bills.

Your priorities are all wrong. You need to stop the driving lessons and start giving her control of her money, and enabling her to live independently one day. You’re not doing her any favours what so ever by holding her back like this.

And I speak as someone who the DVLA will mercifully never allow out on the roads but who has a mortgage, bills, a steady job, and no debt.