WIBU to take this much from DD’s benefits?

[BlueLines81]

My DD is 19 and has a disability, she is not able to work and won’t be able to for the foreseeable. She receives PIP.

As she’s no longer in education, I was not entitled to claim benefits for her from the end of august this year. My tax credits went down quite considerably, and lost CB too, and all of my housing benefit. All together I am about £190 per week worse off. Which isn’t great as I am a single parent and also have a health condition (I receive low rate mobility PIP), and I had to give my job up in July as I couldn’t manage it anymore, so that’s another £1000ish per month down.

I am self employed and doing bits and pieces where I can, to give you an idea I’ve managed about 12 hours of work this month.

I did an online calculator in august and it looked like I would be better off on UC, and also needed to start a UC claim for DD, so I claimed for us both on the same day. We had an appointment at the jobcentre for DD’s claim a couple of weeks ago, and the advisor suggested that I become her appointee and I could have her UC paid into my account, if we felt DD didn’t have the capacity to manage it herself. I asked DD what she thought and she said she’d rather it was paid into my account. I am getting fit notes for both of us from the doctor and and hopefully we will both be entitled to the LCWRA elements.

The idea of being an adult and having to pay bills terrifies DD, mentally she is more like a 12 year old in a lot of ways. I have spoken to her about it and said the options are that either we work out exactly what her share of rent and bills etc would be and she just gives me the money for those, and she can arrange her own food shopping etc, and pay for herself if she wants to come on holidays etc. Or I keep the amount that I’ve lost in benefits for her, she can have whatever is leftover (which I think will still mean she’s better off than she is now with just her PIP). And then she can carry on essentially being a child for as long as she wants (I don’t mean this negatively, she regularly gets very tearful that she’s not a child anymore). She liked the sound of that option better. She just doesn’t want to have to think about finances at all.

But AIBU to take this much money from her? I don’t know the exact figures of what I’ll have lost until we get our first UC statements in a few days, but will probably be at least £150 per week. I know this a lot more than a lot of people take from adult children, which is why I feel bad, but then maybe they have a partner or are just financially in a better situation than I am. Realistically she’s going to be living at home for many more years to come.

As far as I am aware she qualifies because she can’t use public transport on her own? She goes with friends (friends that are able to navigate better), if she was able to travel around alone she would not qualify unless she ticks enough boxes for having a physical disability. OP’s dd is not travelling alone?

No but come on - enhanced rate mobility ?? So she qualifies for that by either not being able to walk 20metres safely and reliably or not being able to do a journey independently without risk of getting lost but can do it with another child with asd??

@Babyroobs well she’s just as autistic day in, day out, but yes the chronic fatigue is variable. She got up around midday yesterday, got the train (eventually), spent a couple of hours in the city (using Uber to get where they wanted to be), then came home, and didn’t wake up until gone lunch time again. She rarely goes out and does stuff and when she does she pays for it by being completely exhausted for the next few days, but what kind of a life would she have if she never left the house?

Paper assessments are done, yes, and they were not just specific to the pandemic, but are part of the process But an award of benefit is only made on the paperwork where the assessor has a clear idea of how the person is affected and has appropriate evidence to support the claim, and if necessary they will contact healthcare professionals named by the claimant if they need clarification. That’s why claimants are advised to give as much clear detail as possible as to how their condition affects them. My pint was that a paper assessment is still an assessment and no-one was just ‘waved through’ because of the pandemic.

Having a roof over her heard with warmth and running water is important, and you've spoken to her about it and she seems content so I'm not sure there's an issue? There's surely the short term of making sure bills are covered and then can look into longer term plans?

@Babyroobs on a good day yes she could, on a bad day she struggles to make it as far as the bathroom. So no she can’t reliably do that. Her friend (who is not diagnosed and may not be) is a lot better than her at using maps and public transport, so with his help, and Ubers, they manage.

Does the friend have disabilities too ? baffled as to how your dd qualifies for enhanced rate mobility yet goes off to another town ? HRM is based on the fact that someone’s disability means they potentially incur more costs when travelling etc.

I qualify for higher rate mobility, that means that if I have to get a cab somewhere that isn’t on a bus route for instance, then I can justify it on the basis I have been awarded PIP at that level. I could, if I wanted, relinquish the money for a car which someone else could drive me places in, but I’ve opted to have the money instead. Doesn’t mean I’m not fully independent or not capable of being though.

@ambitchious, these figures are for someone too ill to work and with high mobility and care needs. A healthy 19 year old would get £292.11 a month and have to be shown actively looking for work.

@BlueLines81
Posting her own items would involve her walking to the post office and back which would be over a mile, and she’s not capable of that most days

Look into royal mail online collection. You don't even have to have a printer if you don't already (it's easier of you do as no risk of parcel mix up) but you can help her learn how to measure and weigh the parcels and which category they come under (small parcel medium etc) and the postie picks it up from the house on their round or in a van if larger. My mum is disabled and can't leave /often be left and it's how we do ebay or vinted sales.

Could you walk around town for two hours?

Just because her friend may have ASD it doesn’t mean she’s just as un capable as OP’s dd is when it comes to travelling. Not everyone with ASD have issues with public transport. I have ASD and a, perfectly capable of travelling and perfectly capable of raising my dc, it doesn’t mean my dd2 who is severely autistic can safely travel alone and it doesn’t mean because I have ASD I can’t support my dd whilst travelling around (I can drive and tbh I find it easier than using public transport). ASD is not a one size fits all 🙄.

I know OP that you said that your DD isnt going to pass, so you are not worried about the dangers, but if she is learning in her own car, without dual controls allowing whoever is teaching her to be able to control the car if she makes a mistake, it is a danger surely.

@HashtagShitShop I did know about that but I think it’s more expensive? It’s no problem though, I often have to go to or past the post office myself so I can post things for her.

She wasn’t walking around town for two hours, the two hours included sitting in an Uber and going for a meal, and I dare say a lot of little rests on benches as is the norm with her.

@TravellingSpoon I have had dual controls fitted in her car. I had to as there weren’t any automatic instructors in the area that worked with motorbility.

Do you know the PIP mobility definition of ‘safely and reliably’ ? It takes quite a few things into account rather than just being able to walk a certain distance with or without someone to accompany claimants - and those with mental health conditions can qualify for higher rate mobility too. It takes into account pain, tiredness, manner of gait and whether the claimant is likely to endanger themselves or others in the process - this can mean the claimant having a condition which would be worsened if they were to walk a certain distance. It also takes into account the claimants’ awareness of safety issues, as well as the time it takes to walk a distance and what aids may be needed. Maybe familiarise yourself a bit more before being so judgmental.

The mobility test doesn’t assume that someone will walk the full distance in one go. I’ve had claimants who have been awarded higher rate mobility even though they can walk in excess of 100 metres. But they can only do it a bit at a time and have to ret before they can do it again. The test recognises that if you can’t do something repeatedly - as often as needed throughout the day - then you can’t do it, and the higher rate applies. And for the OP’s daughter a lot more than just the distances covered will have been considered.

No but come on - enhanced rate mobility ?? So she qualifies for that by either not being able to walk 20metres safely and reliably or not being able to do a journey independently without risk of getting lost but can do it with another child with asd??

What's strange about that? Not everyone with asd is the same.

The online po thing is same price or cheaper 🙂

Let's hope you and Booksandwine80 don't end up setting the guidelines for assessment? Ever left the house? Bought a present? Off to work with you!

How did they do that? That must have cost thousands.

PIP isn't even about being able to work so not sure what your point is ?

yes. Mobility component isn’t purely based on how far someone can walk, It is based on the obstacles they may face in getting from a to b.

So e.g. I can walk around town assuming I know where I’m going, but if public transport doesn’t go to town then I would need to get a cab. It’s an additional cost of having a disability

For a visual impairment the mobility component is based on the level of help you need to be able to travel independently, so in my case I have a guide dog, which means I can’t just get up, get in my car and drive somewhere, I need to rely on him to go around the obstacles in town, find the bus stop, find the way on to the bus etc. And again, where there is no public transport, the ability to pay for a cab, where there is a high possibility of being refused due to the fact that I have a guide dog, irrespective of the law in this matter.

@MeinKraft 🤣🤣🤣 they’d have all disabled people sitting in cold houses they couldn’t afford to heat, never leaving and thinking about the error of their ways (that they can’t help).

No idea how that uber eats message ended up there, and I’m not able to edit.