To be pissed off about my mixed race son's hair?

[jswaw]

I have a 4 year old with ExDP.

I am mixed race (black carribbean and white). Ex DP is white.

DS has very curly classic "mixed race" curls, not as tight as mine but curly nonetheless and doesn't behave like Caucasian hair.

I have told my ex this and stressed the importance of doing his hair on the 2 days a week he has him. He comes back with knotty, matted hair I then have to brush out which is distressing for DS. It is becoming dry and breaking off. He sends him to school without it being done and it looks an absolute mess!!

I have given him specific instructions and sent photos of the correct products.

To my knowledge, he's done his hair less than five times and it's with a product that does not suit his hair type.

AIBU to expect him to do this? I don't know what else to do, he doesn't listen!

Ok, fair enough. But if the OP wants to take care of her son's hair so it's the length he wants it to be I don't think it's a massive ask for his dad to take care of it on his days.

As someone with curly hair that has awful, short poodle like cuts when I was younger because my mom had no idea what she was doing I don't think cutting it short because the dad can't be assed is a great solution. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not a great solution, it's a shitty solution - but there's no way of actually forcing the guy to do the right thing by his child.

So for the child's comfort, it might be the only solution.

Also - at nearly 5 your son can be learning to brush it himself. DD is only just four and has learned to cover her hands in conditioner, rub it all over her hair. She brushes her hair with a tangle teaser

It really depends on the type of hair. My DD is only just starting to be able to detangle her hair well and she's 10. And yes, often products are needed every single day, my own DD's hair needs water, detangler and cream daily.

You can't really compare frizzy curls to Afro /mixed Afro coil and kink hair types.

Understood hermit but it will also depend on length as well as the age of the child. I know younger children with afro texture hair who help do their own hair but its shorter.

It's a shame but I say cut the hair off- especially if rectifying the matting is causing him distress. Your son can grow his hair the way he wants to when he's old enough to look after it himself.

It doesn't sound like a hair style it sounds like type of hair that needs care and maintenance.

Would a silky cap at night help op? Or a silky pillowcase?