AIBU we should be forcing children to change in front of everyone

[Justoverit25]

I know there will be people who think otherwise but it’s something that’s causing many issues recently at DDs school.
at a parent/ school meeting it was made clear that all girls and boys in year 5 and 6 will get changed for PE in one classroom and there will be no exceptions. In the same meeting they were explaining about PHSE and how important it is now because some of the children have started reaching puberty. ( they are year 5 )
my daughter is one of those where she is developing in areas which is fairly obvious.
she also has the addition of having tubes in those areas.
daughter came home and said that another girl in her class was very upset because she didn’t want to change for PE in front of the boys. This particular girl is a bit bigger than most of the class and her mum hasn’t been able to get her to attend school since.
I know we are preparing them for adult life but I honestly can’t think of any time as an adult I have been forced to get dressed in front of the opposite sex. What age do we start to deem this as unsuitable ?

Literally every public changing room (unless family changing) is single sex at over 8. So I would say by Year 4, at a push Year 5.

I would be furious over this - my child would not be getting change in Y5 onwards in non-single sex areas.

If they don’t have facilities staff then just get the children to wear Pe kit on days they do Pe.

They're far too old to be changing together. We changed in separate changing rooms for boys and girls from year 4. Good job too, as one of my friends started her periods in year 4 at age 8.

Isn't 8 the age children are expected to start using the appropriate toilets and changing rooms in swimming pools and not the one of the accompanying adult (if different sexes)?

I think up until y5 it's fine for them all to all get changed in the classroom together. Realistically no one has fewer clothes on than if they were in a swimming pool. Maybe by year 6 some children are self conscious/ starting puberty..so reasonable to seperate then.

Also this is our schools policy as well as other local schools and hasn't been a problem.

This is very strange and not reflective of what many schools do

Did the school give a reason?
They may say they don't have the staff to cover 2 areas - however most kids at this age can be trusted to behave
It goes against the PSHCE and respect - boys do not mature at the same rate as girls

Follow the school complaints policy - expecting menstruating girls to change for PE in a room of boys is a reason why girls / women are put off PE and exercise in later years

It's not acceptable

Firm no. I wouldn't budge on this. Separate changing areas or go in wearing kit..

Our school has completely mitigated this issue by asking the children to come to school in P.E. Kit on the days they have P.E.

Easy

This is totally unacceptable. I was in primary in the 90s and we didn’t get changed with the boys in year 5 and 6 even then. It’s not ideal in year 3 and 4 but definitely not older. I would absolutely complain. In my kids primary school they wear PE kit to school

Absolutely not! Are you in a class whats app group? I’d mention on there and see if others feel similar/can also bring this to the attention of the school.
Ours spend the day in PE kit. The only time I can think of is swimming lessons but they split boys and girls to change.

It’s easy to separate them. We changed in separate areas in y5 and y6. Girls in the cloakroom and boys in the classroom. A dividing screen would also work for in the classroom.

There's a kid in my son's class whose mum is now trans-identifying. The boy has now said he is also trans-identifying. He is able to change in whatever room he desires, however all the other kids, including girls on their periods, must change where the teachers tell them to - no choice.

I'm in Scotland so not sure what ages these years are however my daughter is primary 6 and is 10 next week and over my dead body would she be getting changed in front of the opposite sex. She's going through puberty and wears proper bra's she would be mortified. Xx

At our school the boys change in one class, the girls in another. To be honest this is quite a recent change after parent complaints. I don't blame them really. I'm glad that this new system is in place.

At my school we split from year 4. If requested, a younger child could change in the toilets. We try to be fair. If I was in charge, they'd all come in in pe kit on pe days, it would be easier.

I'm confused by her having 'tubes in those areas'. What do you mean OP?

From what I recall in our school, from year 6 the boys (or girls - whichever there were fewer of) were taken out of the classroom to change somewhere else. This was, I think, only after a parent of a more developed girl in previous years made a right fuss about year 6 boys and girls changing together.

Many primary schools just allow PE kit all day since covid. Saves on time and lost property.

I am amazed that the school are doing this. It’s awful. Definitely let the school know how your dd is feeling-she won’t be the only one.

YANBU X

YANBU. DS8 is in y4 and has been changing separately since y3. It's 2 form entry so all of the girls in y4 change in one classroom, the boys in the other. That being said DS doesn't like it because in y1/2 they went to school in their PE kits, so it was a bit of a change for him going back to changing in school. He's quite private about his body, so they let him change in the toilets. I'm grateful they are lenient on it because he's very sensitive, and I'm sure they couldn't do it for everyone.

I get that, absolutely and I think it's reasonable to make that point too and get the other parents on board, but it's also ok to protect your child first too. As a Mom of all boys, I'd stand with you.

Y5 & 6 absolutely not okay and when I went into these classes nearly 40 years ago our leadership were able to discern that - boys in the cloakroom, girls in the classroom, supervised by the same sex of teacher and boys to knock on the door if they needed to ask a question of the female teacher. Likewise similar arrangements for Y5 & 6 at my children's schools.

I was at primary school in early 70s and we always changed in separate rooms for swimming and PE !!

Why do schools in England make children change into PE kit in school- instead if just wearing it into school that day?

I wouldn't be happy with this. Like others, I know many young people who have their period and are quite developed by that age. Even in normal uniform the most developed girls are often self-conscious about it.

We changed separately in yr6 (can't remember before that) and that was the 80s! And even then the girls would all put their PE kit on OVER their uniforms and then extract the uniform from underneath via various contortion techniques!

YANBU at all. I actually started wearing a bra in primary school (which was mortifying), changing with the boys would have been awful.

At DC school they did a kind of phasing. In the last year or two, people who wanted to stay in the classroom could, others went into sex segregated changing rooms. Worked well and it provided a good opportunity to talk about respect and boundaries with DC.