If your children are at school and you don’t work

[Pervymenalloverthenews]

What do you do in the day?

NOT a judgmental post

I worked all my life and had my dc later (infertility) We cut right back money wise and I was able to stay with her until she went to school. She’s now at school and I’m working a few evenings and a Saturday morning, which works out well. I’ve had a couple of weeks at home during the day now that my Dd is at school, I’ve enjoyed reading books, walking the dog, watching films etc. I do any housework that needs doing, but it’s done pretty quickly, plus the food shop, dinners, school run. Just wondering what others do and what to do to fill my time (all friends work in the day now)

Well I had five children not one so more of the same as anyone else.

My son has just started school and I don't work. I do housework, walk the dog, food shopping etc, run errands. It's been 3 weeks or so and I'm bored😂I've been watching a lot of tv and cross stitching. I want to work but I can't imagine I'd find a job that allows me to do all drop offs and pick ups and have all school holidays off. Unless I work for myself which I am slowly trying to make happen.

I volunteered in the school two days a week. One day 'art enrichment ' in small groups and one day counseling. I visited two sets of older parents/ pils, joined a running club and did all the household stuff. I don't think I ever had time to read a book!

Is there anything you've ever wanted to study? A friend of mine is in the same situation and is studying part time now she has the time.
I'm a sahm to a 4yo and 6mo and I craft in my spare time, do you have any hobbies or is there anything you've wanted to take up but haven't had the time to?
I cannot wait for the day I am bored with nothing left to do 🤣

If you don’t need to work and have spare time then I’d 💯 be volunteering. (I do anyway to a degree but would be able to make a more regular commitment with more time.) What interests you? Volunteering doesn’t have to mean being behind the till in a charity shop (although I’ve done that and enjoyed that) there are all sorts of organisations needing all kinds of skill sets from financial to publicity to dealing with vulnerable people.

Volunteer? Something like girl guiding, pta, reading in school.
Online training courses.
I had a period of working pt and focused on my health - lost weight and exercised.
If you are working evening and weekend then week us your off time do what you fancy - cinema, museums etc.

Volunteer. I was a Parish Councillor when DS started school and I worked part time. I spent most of my days off filling in grant applications.
My DSis volunteers at the local infirmary meeting and greeting and sometimes some basic office duties (filing/photocopying).
My cousin works clothes sorting at BHF warehouse one day a week and actually gets paid minimum wage for it but can start and finish when she likes. It's mostly mid/high end shop and online returns and they get first dibs on anything they fancy.

I work, but over 3 nights a week, so I have a few day at home, where I'm not sleeping and both kids are at school. I absolutely love that time.

I quite often go swimming or gym

I help out a friend, who is struggling (currently decorating her DD's room)

I do all my housework, so I don't need to do anything while the kids are about

I batch cook, so I just need to reheat at the buyer end of the week

I have long baths in peace

I have a toddler and pregnant at home also, but when they all are at school one day. My day will probably be easier because I love to cook and cook from scratch everyday my husbands cultural meals so I'll be able to do those long dishes while watching something I guess and practice my baking etc.

I work in the evenings from home so I'd possibly use that time to relax after cooking and housework is done

It's great that you can do these things but future - proof yourself and ensure you have a decent pension and secure future.

Well I do all housework, cooking, family admin (and yes I know working parents do all of that too! My point is I do it while kids are in school rather than evenings/weekends).

Also visiting/sorting things out for elderly parents and disabled sibling.

Organising the extension we’re building next year, lots of chasing people/making plans etc.

Reading up/taking courses/going to support meetings to learn how to help my autistic son, arranging his appointments etc.

Doing the gardening (big garden and I grow lots).

Painting - not very good but enjoy it.

Doing a part-time university course which may lead to a new career if kids need me less in a couple of years.

Not been bored so far :)

I volunteer for a local children’s charity. It takes anything between 5 and 20 hours a week, and I do this mostly from home on a semi-flexible basis.

I find that stuff around the house takes a fair while though - I cook pretty much everything from scratch, grocery shopping, gardening, laundry, tidying up etc.

Voluntary work- am a charity trustee and parish councillor and volunteer in a charity shop
gym 3/4 times per week
cooking, household stuff and admin
days out as dh is retired
when dd was younger I was chair of pta and a parent reader with children in years one and two
I do work as an invigilator for GCSEs and a levels

My experience is a little different maybe because Ds is disabled and at complex needs school and I’m disabled - bladder issues, lupus, all sorts- so whilst it was a choice for me not to work I don’t have the same energy levels as other people. I spend my days doing housework, watching Tv, reading, going out to coffee shops / garden centres on my own, going for long walks when my body behaves itself (!), chatting online here and in health forums etc. I haven’t worked in 12 years now and no plans to ever again. I was lucky in that before I became unwell I had a good career and we have no mortgage etc. Dh works full time and enjoys work. I have always hated it. I’m happier at home, natural introvert.

My situation is a bit different. I'm very ill with a rare, incurable disease, so my days are pure hell to be honest. On agony 24/7 so honestly I do very very little. I really wish I was able to do more

@menopausalmare do you tell every self employed person to future proof themselves with pensions? Or just stay at home parents?

I only ask as there are a tonne of workers out there with zero or minimal pensions; tradesmen, cleaners, shop workers. They may be earning but sometimes very low salaries that don't offer generous pensions (if any). Many tradesmen would be in the shitter if they broke their back tomorrow.

There seems to be a general assumption that the average SAHP is somewhat thick and vulnerable. Do you not think they consider their future when deciding to stay at home? I really hope you advise men as much women.

Lots of SAHP will have other options that mean they could be financially independent if their relationship ended; joint mortgages, inheritance, savings.

But others will accept increased vulnerability to gain other advantages.

I just hate the assumption that stay at home parents need financial advice and warnings from random strangers!

Well to be fair there are countless threads on here from women who want to leave their marriages but can't afford to so not everyone does take steps to protect themselves.

I use to have Fridays off (still do but have a baby now). I loved having that day. I use to go the gym, catch up on errands / housework and other boring grown up things. I’d sometimes meet a friend for lunch.

@Beezknees there are PLENTY of working mums who would struggle to pay the bills on their own. In the current economic climate, most people would struggle to pay the bills solo.

Some just choose to make a point to SAHMs as they must be stupid 🙄

Before I started my job I did the housework, had a nap, ran some errands and probably about 6 hours a week volunteering. When I wasn't working (and even now I'm heavily part time) it was because I have two disabled children. One of whom is up most the night. The 6 hours a day of school was my only time to do anything other than keeping 2 disabled small humans alive

I mostly just chill to be honest.

Hello Hummingbird233, yes I do. I have friends from various backgrounds who have become financially trapped and have their options limited because they took a hit to their earning potential. A nasty divorce has left friends well and truly screwed with no pension and a bleak retirement.

Between looking after my disabled child (I get a lot of school phone calls because he’s distressed or needs me, plus he can’t access any childcare outside of school), my increasingly elderly parents, a couple of days a week of voluntary work and all the domestic stuff like laundry, cleaning and shopping, plus some time to relax and see friends, I find things to do. It helps that I have a lot of friends who are either retired, SAHM or very part time, so I have daytime company sometimes.

i Can’t work due to my autism and adhd and my dc are at school / nursery (they also have Sen so it’s quite difficult) when I’m at home alone I tend to just things organised as I struggle with that and often sleep as dc are up
at night a lot

Anything I want and a fair bit of stuff I don't 'want' to do, eg tip runs.

This week I have:
Learnt a shit ton of music theory
singing lesson
workouts
Been to a phonics workshop at school
watercolours
choir one evening
been on hand for questions the builders have (extension pending)
Chilled out in bed with tonsillitis and not had to worry about being anywhere (very valuable if you ask me)