If your children are at school and you don’t work

[Pervymenalloverthenews]

What do you do in the day?

NOT a judgmental post

I worked all my life and had my dc later (infertility) We cut right back money wise and I was able to stay with her until she went to school. She’s now at school and I’m working a few evenings and a Saturday morning, which works out well. I’ve had a couple of weeks at home during the day now that my Dd is at school, I’ve enjoyed reading books, walking the dog, watching films etc. I do any housework that needs doing, but it’s done pretty quickly, plus the food shop, dinners, school run. Just wondering what others do and what to do to fill my time (all friends work in the day now)

the context is the fake pity or the looking down by pretending that they would be "bored" and they cannot possibly "imagine not having a REAL job" or would go crazy with boredom if they had "nothing to do all day". That's on them!

Just don't imply that SAHM are either bored or spend their entire day dusting or doing their nails.

Work, don't work, but a woman is not superior because she has a bog standard job, or the only reason she found to get out of the house was to find a "part-time job" to occupy her time.

I just disagree that the only point to being a SAHP is to be available for your dc.

What could possibly be the point to be a SAH PARENT apart from.. being available for kids?

I know the term has negative connotations, and some SAHM call themselves "students' because they study for their degree or whatever qualification, but .. they're just SAHM. It doesn't mean you don't open a book or are permanently chained to your hoover 😂

Housework, admin, investments, exercise, volunteering, reading, meals out with friends, etc. There's so much to do!

I have chronic pain and am a single mum to 3 school age Autistic kids who have a lot of weekly therapy. Variously 2 do speech therapy, 2 have physio, 2 have occupational therapy, 2 have art therapy and they all have regular psychologists. I'm also trying to sort my rundown house out to sell it. I don't have time to be bored, wish I did because I'm getting sicker and could really do with a break. Waiting to go to court to fight the kids abusive father who does bugger all and bullies and gets physical with our DC but has decided he deserves 50/50 and it's not fair to HIM if he doesn't get that. He's told our DC this too along with regularly putting our eldest in tears because he won't leave off criticising me and she's scared and feels she has to agree with the nasty things he says. We're certainly living the curse of being in interesting times. I'd love to be bored, as it is there not enough hours in the day to do it all.

When I was in your position OP it was covid so home schooling. And I retrained so college a few days a week (online).

When we weren't on lockdown I met friends who weren't working for various reasons and went walking a lot.

It was a great time in my life hampered only by judgement from a minority of people!

What could possibly be the point to be a SAH PARENT apart from.. being available for kids?

So @Pfannkuchen what about all the parents who don't work but have nannies or send dc to boarding school? Some parents don't work because of other things it's not always because they only want to be available for their kids.

Just don't imply that SAHM are either bored or spend their entire day dusting or doing their nails.

I have not implied that at all, you are the one labelling any criticism as jealously.

Work, don't work, but a woman is not superior because she has a bog standard job, or the only reason she found to get out of the house was to find a "part-time job" to occupy her time.

Who has said that? A women is also not superior for staying at home.

I am not sure what you are arguing with me about??

As I said at the beginning, staying at home wasn't for me. And I'm aware I am
lucky that I have a job that is school hours, lots of holidays etc but me not liking staying at home isn't a slight or anyone who prefers to stay at home.

So @Pfannkuchenwhat about all the parents who don't work but have nannies or send dc to boarding school? Some parents don't work because of other things it's not always because they only want to be available for their kids.

so? they are still parents, SAHP doesn't mean homeschooling

fabulous, just spare us the fake naivety of asking
What would holiday plans, birthdays involve that you would do stuff regularly for?

and pretending to be so confused about what a SAHM could possibly be doing all day.

What do you think we are doing? You are asking goady questions, it's pretty obvious why!

State pension you get added years for child rearing if not earning up until the child is a certain age (8, 10 or 12? can't remember).
You can also make additional contributions to make up missing years, currently ~£864 pa, pays off after 4 years of retirement.

My youngest has just started school. I’ve been a Sahm since he was born but prior to that always worked part time school hours.
For now, I don’t intend to work until at least spring, so I have been de cluttering and gardening. I have a ton of diy to do as we have a reno project house. I crochet. I also have regular psycho therapy, which takes prep and recovery and processing. Plus I swear I always have a kid home sick.. then they give it to me.. four weeks in to term here and they’ve all been off once at different times..

I did it for a few years.

Chilled, read books, went to the gym and shopped daily for fresh food. Had a better quality of life for sure. Oh, and I still had a cleaner.

I am a stay at home mum/wife. I do the school run then go home! I then please myself until dd needs collecting.I love my life and thats not bragging I genuinely do. I worked from being 16 yrs old to being 48 and I bust my balls til I had had enough, I had dd aged 40 so I am a late mum in a way and its a joy being able to be there whenever she wants or needs me. I am very lucky to be able to do this I realise that. I have my dh's support fully. I do a bit of house work,prepare dinner etc not much really other than standard things. I fill my days doing whatever I feel like. I dont want to volunteer so I dont do that.I never watch daytime telly ever I promise you its crap! I am never bored. Its a rare privelidge and I am greatful I am in a position to live this way..

Good on you @whatdidshedotogetahillnamedafterher

your life sounds fabulous and why the heck not if you can🌷👌

When I was a SAHP and my kids were in school, I went to the gym 3 mornings a week and volunteered in the children's school for one afternoon a week, with occasional extra volunteering sessions. The rest of my time was spent shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening, mending, doing errands and home maintenance. Then the children would get out of school so I'd feed them a snack, take them to the park or sports or dance classes, supervise their homework and get dinner ready for when DH got home.

I went back to work when my youngest child hit KS2, and I definitely have less work and more leisure time now that I'm in paid work than I did as a SAHP. I really enjoyed the challenge and creativity of parenting on a tiny budget, and the ability to get very involved in my children's education and development, but I also enjoy the freedom and money and respect from others that come with a job.

so? they are still parents, SAHP doesn't mean homeschooling

what? Your the one who said What could possibly be the point to be a SAH PARENT apart from.. being available for kids? I just disagree that's the only reason..

fabulous, just spare us the fake naivety of asking What would holiday plans, birthdays involve that you would do stuff regularly for?

As I said I was a SAHP for a bit & although my dc are almost all in secondary I work p/t & largely term time. I was genuinely curious as I've never spent a long time planning birthdays working or not. I seem to have triggered you though.

As I said I was a SAHP for a bit & although my dc are almost all in secondary I work p/t & largely term time. I was genuinely curious as I've never spent a long time planning birthdays working or not. I seem to have triggered you though.

Who cares if you spent a long time planning birthdays or holidays? The question was "what do you do when the kids are at school". I do everything I have to do, including planning birthdays so I don't have to do anything at all when the kids are off school. Does it matter to you if I spend 20 mn here, 15 mn there, or if you prefer picturing it as sitting down for 4 hours straight with a birthday spreadsheet?😂

Some people do chores at the weekend, I chose not to.
It's cute you try to start an argument with your little digs, but I am more than happy with my choices, I am not triggered. I don't dread Sunday nights, I am not stressed, I am curious what is bothering you so much that you keep quoting me and asking ME questions?😏

@Pfannkuchen it was just a question specifically about birthdays. Of course it's not a big deal, hence why I have no idea why that triggered you!

I am curious what is bothering you so much that you keep quoting me and asking ME questions?

😆 Because you aren't doing the same? I'm responding to your points because you are responding to mine. Surely you understand that bit?

For clarification purposes you don't need to respond to that

I thought best to spell it out!

I'm at home with school age kids. Atm it mostly just feels like I'm at home with kids who are off school unwell! But it is much less stressful than when I was working and they got sick and I was trying to juggle a job with unreasonable timeframes around unexpected days off.

When they do go to school, I try to get some exercise in, and do some volunteer stuff for one of the DC's sports clubs, which can take as many hours as I care to give it. I should probably cut down on that actually as it's more rewarding than housework so the house is pretty gross and really I have no excuse, I just don't make the time for it.

So essentially I spend my day procrastinating.

wow, your post above was charming, but thank you so much for proving my earlier point. Have a lovely day.

Something to fill the gap in your CV such as volunteering and/or learning a new skill.

OP, putting aside the goady posters, the way to look at it should be: what do you want to do at weekends, half terms and after school?
The more you get done at home in these few hours, the more time you have with your child.