To want to be called by my name?

[Pennypringle]

My name can be shortened, think Jessica/Jess Joanne/Jo but I never shorten it. None of my friends or family or Co workers shorten it. If someone does I tell them I prefer my actual name not a shortened version.
My FHs parents keep shortening it despite me telling them not to over and over again, which I absolutely hate.
To make things worse his ex wife has a similar name it can be shortened to the same as a shortened version of mine. She goes by the shortened version. I don't. ( I have no problem with his ex wife but I'm not her! )
My FH has been divorced for 5 years and we've been together for 4.
It's getting to a point where I don't want to visit them, where I'm getting cross with my FH for not putting a stop to it. We are due to get married in 2025, I don't want to be called his ex wives name at my wedding or in a card.
I think it's rude call someone a name they haven't chosen. If someone introduced themselves as Thomas I'd call them Thomas. If they introduced themselves as Tom I'd call them Tom.
Aibu?

@Doone22 genuine question. Why do you do it? Why do you think you can call someone a name that isn't the one they introduced themselves as? I don't understand the logic of meeting someone who says "Hi. I'm Isabel, nice to meet you" and replying "Hi Izzy"

Yes I had nicknames when I was younger, I still do to some people. They aren't all shortened versions of my actual name though, and people only use them because I've said they can. They've mostly evolved organically.

Given you see them so rarely I wouldn’t be able to get worked up about it!!

How can you “automatically” call someone by the wrong name?

@MillicentTrilbyHiggins 100% this!
No one has ever shortened my name without being corrected. I do not answer to any shortened version of my name. I don't introduce myself with any shortened version of my name. If someone called out to me with a shortened version of my name I wouldn't even click that they meant me.
My family nicknames are loosely based on my name, mostly silly things based on younger siblings misprouncing (it's pretty common, not difficult for adults and used in lots of cultures too)

UANBU, I'm Amanda and I introduce myself as such, then I get 'Can I call you Mandi." errrmmm No ! DD calls it me if she's in a cheeky mood, still now at 23

I agree.

If you only see your future husbands parents twice a year, is it worth the bother? Just let them get on with being thoughtless

If it bothers you very much (which it seems to) then future husband should sort it out for you asap

I find its a good yardstick for people. If you can't be troubled to observe the basic courtesy of using my name properly and just allocate me a label of your own choice then I can't be troubled to spend any time on you.

I worked woth a Bethany who preferred her full name to just Beth, apparently I was the only person who actually asked her what she preferred and stuck to it 🤷‍♀️ I felt for her as I'm the opposite and hate my full name and wouldn't like being called it all the time.