To want to be called by my name?

[Pennypringle]

My name can be shortened, think Jessica/Jess Joanne/Jo but I never shorten it. None of my friends or family or Co workers shorten it. If someone does I tell them I prefer my actual name not a shortened version.
My FHs parents keep shortening it despite me telling them not to over and over again, which I absolutely hate.
To make things worse his ex wife has a similar name it can be shortened to the same as a shortened version of mine. She goes by the shortened version. I don't. ( I have no problem with his ex wife but I'm not her! )
My FH has been divorced for 5 years and we've been together for 4.
It's getting to a point where I don't want to visit them, where I'm getting cross with my FH for not putting a stop to it. We are due to get married in 2025, I don't want to be called his ex wives name at my wedding or in a card.
I think it's rude call someone a name they haven't chosen. If someone introduced themselves as Thomas I'd call them Thomas. If they introduced themselves as Tom I'd call them Tom.
Aibu?

Yanbu. If you don't use the shortened version of your name then neither should they.

My DS ignores people who shorten his.

Sorry but this is really no big deal in my book. He obviously feels comfortable with you enough to shorten your name. I think you’re being precious but that’s just me . I will no doubt be called out that he’s being disrespectful etc etc etc .. < gets hard hat ..>

I really don’t think it’s the end of the world.. unless he’s calling you something wrong or rude or sweary.

Oh god- for some reason I struggle with my ds's girlfriend's name! She uses one shortening and I find it so hard to stop myself using another. I do apologise every time-and she says she doesn't mind. But I am mortified....

Calling someone by their preferred name is a really basic courtesy.

Can you get little cards and put "My name is JESSICA" on each one, then hand them out every single time they misname you? The sheer number of them and the concrete reminder might help. Maybe put one on as a badge, too, after the first time?

But nothing is really going to work if your fiancé doesn't have your back on this.

I always use my full name and on the odd occasion I've been called Jo by a stranger I say I hate it straight away lol

Oh good lord, first I thought FH was a typo but then when I saw it repeated I thought maybe 'Fair' and not quite so 'Dear'? The MN acronyms are tedious enough without people making up their own. DP would have sufficed. Anyway.

YABU
Its honestly not that big of a deal.

People shorten my name all of the time.

I accidentally shorten names, think chlo for Chloe, rach for Rachel etc.
I don’t even mean to do it.
I used to get hit every time I would shorten a certain name and I still didn’t learn!

The only thing I could think of was 'Fucking Husband'

@NowWhattt you obviously haven't read what OP wrote if you talk about 'he'. It's her future in laws who are calling her by the wrong name.

It's very rude to change someone's name and especially loaded if it's an ex's name. If someone introduces themselves with the name William, you do not then say 'good to meet you Bill'.

Just keep correcting them, OP, and ignoring. And don't let your fiancé make excuses like 'they're old '. That's no excuse at all.

@Rightsraptor exactly! Thank you!
My parents are also old and can manage to call him by his name.

To those who say it's not important - yes it is. Names are very important. Like Jessica, my name can be shortened but I use my full name. My name is my identity. I am NOT that shortened version. If I introduce myself as 'Margaret' (not my name) and they immediately call me me Maggie, I tell them politely but firmly, no, I'm Margaret. Usually works. Although one person said, "Oh, I have a friend called Margaret and she's always called Maggie." So what? That's her, I'm me. I have a friend called Persephone. Shall I call you that?
Not using someone's preferred version of their name is sheer discourtesy. With you all the way, OP.

If you are this invested in this that you don't want to see them over it why on earth would you marry you bf?

Yep, I'd do this. I might also refuse to visit them as they are so rude to you.

Yes, but why do you keep visiting?

Answer with a wrong name every time.

Hello Jo, lovely to see you!
Thanks Freda, good to see you too.
Hello George, you look well.

No thanks Sandra.

Yes please Fred.

Just random names.

I stand corrected.

However, I still think it’s no big deal when there are worse things to worry about rather than a forename being shortened 🙄
Sorry, but I do, whoever it may be.

There's obviously more to it than simple forgetfulness. If you've asked them "over and over again" not to shorten your name, there's clearly a power trip/fuck you vibe going on.

You seemed annoyed with him so I read it as Fucking Husband 😂

I feel you
I also hate the shortened version of my name
For a long time at work I ended up being called eg Jo-sorry-Joanne EVERY time

I have a name like this. Most people I meet ask if I want to be called full name or shortened name. I say long name and everyone looks at me like I’m being very difficult. Everyone calls me shortened version. I’ve given up.

I like it! I read it as my Future Half

it’s been a long week 🤣

I'd start calling them something else, ideally something OTT like Bazza if they're called Barry for instance. It'll make you feel better and they can't complain.

I would also want my fiance to have a word.

"Look Mater and Pater, would you mind awfully getting Flopsy's name right? It seems bally unfair to keep calling her by this shortened form that she doesn't use especially when that's the name of the Ex. Do you think you could see your way to making a special effort? It would be a relief to her and therefore to me. We don't want any mishaps at the wedding, do we old 'rents? Much obliged"

Love the second paragraph!

Me too! In the circumstances I thought it was reasonable though :)