To think I can live and support two dc on £20k per year?

[Velvetgarlic]

I am desperate to leave my marriage.

If I divorce my DH we would probably have around £250k each from the sale of our house. I would have to spend practically all of that on a house/flat for me and the dc (teen boy and girl so we need 3 bedrooms).

My DH earns around £40k per year. I get around £1400 net pay per month. Would that be enough for everything? Sorry, I know each situation is individual, but I was just wondering if other people out there were in similar situations and had made it work.

Just at the start of this journey and feeling daunted!

The first thing would be to understand who is being main caregiver for the kids. Therefore if you, you’d probably be able to get more like 60-70% of the equity of the house.

use the Maintenance calculator on line to work out based on how many nights he’ll have the kids , how much he would have to pay you.

I lived on 45k with 2, but I still had a mortgage. I think things would be tight on 20.

No/low mortgage?
Child benefit
Maintenance
possibly Tax credit/universal credit top up?

Definitely doable

I thought main caregiver was only to work out maintenance etc, I didn’t think it made a difference in working how the equity of the house? I would have thought that would always be 50/50

@ASCCM DH is now working part time (through his own choice) so I am pretty sure he would want 50/50 caregiver split.

Ok so no maintenance. No then. You don’t have enough in my honest opinion.
Reliance on benefits is not the answer

@Goldenboysmum yes I am planning for a low or no mortgage.

I wasn't sure if I would be entitled to any benefits/universal credit if I have equity in a house. I phoned citizens advice bureau today to try to get some more info - I was on hold for over an hour then got an automated message saying that all their advisors were busy and to call back another time!😡

Of course it does. Your potential to earn more whist having the kids ( the OP a ex earns double so can afford double on housing costs) etc etc.

I got like 78% of the house equity in my divorce.

But my DH is emotionally abusive - my health is suffering. The children are suffering. I don't know what to do!

OP , how close to 18 are your children ? only mentioning that as a lot of child support would stop then or go directly to the young person .

Oh lovely I didn’t mean don’t go!! I just mean the finances might need some work. Job improvements , keeping money back out, getting maintenance from him or spousal maintenance .

there are many ways to skin a cat as they say, there will be an answer

@Toomanygreenbeans they are 13 and 16

Ah ok! 😊The reason my salary is low is because I was a sahm for years - DH refused to do any childcare/sleepless nights/housework, and my dc also have SEN so I ended up staying at home with them. I know it was a bad decision with hindsight, to be out of the job market for so long.

Hopefully I might be entitled to some spousal maintenance.

So yes , all those things will help you get more in the settlement.

I would get a really good family solicitor , usually you can have a free first meeting, gather all the info you have and paperwork etc and get advice on what you should be aiming for. Then go from there r

You will receive child benefit and probably universal credit top up on a 20k income. With no mortgage or rent, I think it may well be doable. I’d be amazed if spousal support was even considered, 40k isn’t enough money for this.

Use the entitled to calculator for a benefit assessment. You will need to pretend you are already split and in a new home for the purposes of getting a rough figure as it will take his income into account otherwise. Saying that once your children reach 18 your entitlement will drop so it is not a long term solution just a stop gap really. There is little to no help for someone with a mortgage or who owns their own property but you might get a top up for kids. Same with maintenance. You need to think ahead as it will decrease as each child turns 18. Are there options for career progression?

If you can go mortgage free rather than a small mortgage it will of course help but I would realistically look at how much you spend on food, petrol and essential bills such as gas, electricity and council tax etc so you have an idea of what you would need income wise. You can get a single person discount on council tax but you don't get discount on electricity and gas so even though it won't be 100% accurate bill wise it will give you and idea of what you can expect outgoings to be

Hi, look at turn2us calculator, you would probably be due universal credit amongst other things.

They won’t count the proceeds of a house sale for 6-12 months after to allow you to get rehoused. Savings over 6k would be a problem.

But you will definitely have a lot more than 20k

You can do it. I lived on 15k and paid my mortgage. You will get universal credits. It will be tight but track your spending and you will be fine! Its better to be skint and in a safe place than have money and be miserable! Do the entitledto calculators and speak to citizens advice if needed!

I earn £15400 and have CB plus UC including housing-we're OK on that (3 teens), just been adjusted for 2 as oldest is now 18. We get social tariff landline and broadband from BT for £20pm and £20.57 pm water from Severn Trent plus Council tax reduction.Live in rented and furnished it with donated items and charity shop and facebook marketplace cheap stuff.

I was in this situation and managed well with top ups from Tax Credits. It bought me time to increase my salary until they had grown up and I wasn’t eligible anymore.

I don’t know how it works with UC but there are calculators you can use to check. If they are teenagers, I think their views on where they live and spend their time will be taken into account - although I don’t know that for certain.

Reliance on benefits is not the answer.

Surely you can’t be serious?

Op like others have said you’ll very likely be eligible for UC. In the short term it is doable, long term would you perhaps be able to increase hours or re-train and get a higher paying job? It very much depends on the age of dc too. Would you need to cover child care or are they teens?

Something not a lot of people know is that maintenance is up to 20 if they are in full time education, although if they go to university it usually goes straight to the child

Assuming you are mortgage free in a small house or 3 bed flat, you will have £330 per week to cover food, travel/petrol, utilities, clothes, shoes, lunches, home furnishings and maintenance, school trips, phones etc. I think that is extremely tight. You can do it but you'd have to budget very carefully and explain to your children that there's not a lot spare so if they want more than the basics, they need to find Saturday jobs.
I think that sort of budget gets tricky when the washing machine goes on the blink at the same time the boiler needs replacing. There's just no leeway.

If she needs to separate and her full time wage is 20k, then benefits is the answer. That is what they are there for. She'll get much less than normal for a lone parent on 20k because she will own her own home outright, but she will likely get some support.

We shouldn't be imploring women to stay in damaging relationships to spend less on benefits!

Hi OP, I’d say you will almost definitely not get spousal maintenance. It’s very rarely awarded in the UK at least, and especially not when his income is 40k to your 20. If he wants 50/50 custody then there would also be no child maintenance.

What you’re more likely to get depending on length of marriage etc, especially because you’ve worked reduced hours to be a mum, is a % of his pension as well as your % of the house/any other marital assets/savings.

This is a good thing because it means more money for you to walk away with, but the “downside” if you can call it that is that if you have a large amount in savings, I think it’s over £6000, then you won’t be entitled to any UC top ups. But that wouldn’t necessarily matter because you’d have more money to work with then anyway.

I do think it would be too tight otherwise, we have a 3 bed house, new build so it’s pretty energy efficient etc and if we had no mortgage the rest of our “house” bills are still about £750 and that’s not including our mobile phones, car insurance, food shops etc which do quickly add up x

UC to replace working tax credits is an acknowledgement that some jobs don't pay enough.

I'd prefer the employers to be made to pay decent wages over the taxpayer subsiding employers but it's hardly "living off benefits" just because some employers don't pay enough for people to live on.